It’s easy to feel settled in a relationship. But when you cross the line with these 18 habits, there’s a good chance your lover may leave you for it.
Bad habits are aptly named for the fact that they tend to cause
problems for ourselves and those around us. While little bad habits like
nail biting and chewing with your mouth open can be annoying at the
very least, some bad habits can actually have devastating effects on our
relationships.
The nature of habits is that they’re repetitive behaviors. One bad
act can be forgivable and easy to ignore, but repeatedly doing something
disruptive, no matter how small, can put a crack in your relationship
that eventually grows with each repetition. More often than not, people
only learn how destructive their bad habit can be when the damage is
already too glaring to ignore.
18 bad habits that can ruin your relationship
What are the bad habits that have the most devastating effects on a relationship? Here are 18 of the worst ones.
#1 Treating your partner like a project. Constantly
trying to change your partner and mold them into the person you want
them to be is a toxic habit that could destroy your relationship. Think
about how you would feel if your partner was doing the same to you. It’s
a selfish motive to stay in a relationship with the belief that you can
change your partner into someone else.
#2 Making your fights public. By neglecting to keep
your arguments within a private sphere, you are embarrassing yourself
and your partner, in addition to drawing unwanted negative attention
onto your relationship. Not only will this not solve whatever it is
you’re fighting about, but your partner could become completely repulsed
by this childish behavior and decide to leave you.
#3 Criticizing close friends and family. Regardless
of how irritating family and friends can sometimes be, when you
criticize your partner’s friends and family, you are also criticizing
your partner. A partner who feels like you are constantly bashing their
loved ones may grow to resent you.
These people have been in your partner’s lives for a while and are
likely not going anywhere, so you might as well learn to like them *or
at least tolerate them*.
#4 Too much PDA. The only people who are fans of
public displays of affection are the ones engaging in it. When a couple
is ignorantly making out in public, it’s easy to forget that no one else
really wants to see you sucking each other’s faces.
Some partners feel the need to be affectionate in public in order to
show other people that their partner is taken and in love. However,
being insensitive about the people around you can cause your partner to
feel conscious and awkward, and possibly even resentful of the unwanted
attention from others.
#5 Prolonging an argument. Dragging an argument out
even longer than it has to be is seriously just a waste of time. This is
when you’ve already discussed everything about a prior argument and
nothing is left on the table, but your partner constantly wants to
rehash it all over again. This is simply unnecessary and doesn’t help
the relationship move forward.
#6 Holding grudges. People make mistakes, and this
is no different in relationships. Holding on to every little mistake
your partner has made and being unable to forgive will only exhaust your
partner and ruin your relationship. When your partner has apologized,
and the two of you have talked it through, make sure you forgive them.
Otherwise, let the person go if the mistake was too hurtful to move
past.
#7 Avoiding important conversations. When you know
there’s an important issue to be discussed but you avoid it, you are
only giving your partner more reasons to feel uneasy about you and the
situation in general. Sometimes, if someone doesn’t clear the air, one
partner will spend too much time thinking that the other one doesn’t
care. This can cause an even bigger blowout, and might even be the kiss
of death for your relationship.
#8 Keeping score of your partner’s mistakes. Relationships
aren’t a game, so there’s no need for a scoreboard to tell you how many
times you were right. Doing this is a sign that you can’t get over all
the times your partner has wronged you, even though the issue has
already been resolved and dropped.
#9 Comparing your partner to your ex. Sometimes, it
can’t be helped, but even then, it shouldn’t be something you would
openly do. Constantly comparing your current partner to your ex is a
glaring sign that you’re not over your ex.
And if your partner knows that you’re always making mental
comparisons, they’ll start to feel like they can’t be allowed to be
themselves since the shadow of your oh-so-perfect ex haunts your
relationship.
#10 Initiating important discussions at the worst possible times. It’s
not really an ideal scenario to come home to after a long stressful day
at work to a heavy discussion about bills piling up or something
equally stressful. Doing this will only serve to stress your partner out
even more, which can then turn your discussion into an argument.
#11 Invading their privacy. Everyone’s privacy
should be respected. If you feel the need to stalk your partner or
invade their privacy, your partner has every right to feel disrespected.
Keep in mind that if you sneakily try to look into what your partner is
up to due to a lack of trust, you’re also betraying their trust by
doing so behind their back.
#12 Blowing things out of proportion. There’s no
reason to cause a scene if your partner simply left the lights on or
forgot to put the toilet seat down. If you always blow up at any little
annoyance, your partner will not be able to tell the difference between
when you’re just irritated and really upset. Plus, they will start to
get tired of trying to placate you for every tiny issue.
#13 Letting jealousy override clear judgement. When
your jealousy overcomes your rational judgements and causes you to fly
off the handle, your partner may resort to keeping secrets from you just
to avoid a jealous outburst.
#14 Letting yourself go. While it’s fine to
sometimes walk around in sweats and a baggy shirt, you should still take
the time to look nice for your partner every once in a while. If all
your partner ever sees is your unkempt appearance and your general
disregard for hygiene, they may start to question why they were even
attracted to you in the first place.
#15 Needing to be together 24/7. In any
relationship, it’s nice to want be around your partner all the time, but
not when it’s so suffocating that both of you are practically conjoined
at the hip. Having some space in a relationship helps to build a
healthy independence and gives your partner time to miss you.
#16 Constantly telling white lies. A little white
lie about something completely inconsequential is fine from time to
time, especially if it’s about something that doesn’t affect your
partner in the slightest. However, always telling white lies to avoid an
argument will only serve to break your partner’s trust when they find
out about your lies.
#17 Not saying what’s on your mind. Neglecting to
voice your needs and then berating your partner for not meeting them is a
horrible habit. This passive aggressive behavior will only make your
partner paranoid about not knowing and giving you what you want, and in
turn, you’ll end up resenting them even more. It’s a vicious cycle that
won’t get you anywhere.
#18 Not appreciating your partner. If you always
neglect your partner’s need for appreciation and praise, you are
starving them of a basic need in a relationship. No one wants to feel
taken for granted, and if you never show your partner your appreciation
for what they do for you, they may just stop bothering to try to please
you.
Bad habits can do more than just annoy your partner. Some of
these common slip ups can drive your relationship into the deep end. By
recognizing and addressing these toxic behaviors in a relationship,
you’ll have a better chance at making your relationship last for the
long haul.
