.jpg "Top 6 Online Dating Sites (and Why They’re Top)")
A while back Chase wrote an article on “How to Meet Tons of Girls on Plenty of
Fish”. He’s also written a couple of other articles on how
to find success with online dating and online dating sites.
Needless to say, this site is definitely geared toward handling your
fundamentals and process when in person with a
girl. But, that being
said, it is called “Girls Chase”, and there are many mediums in which
you can get a pussycat to chase you.
I believe that one should always defer to in-person when dealing
with women, whenever possible; however, online dating can definitely be
a fine supplement to one’s game. If you read Chase’s myriad articles on
the process of online dating – which he spent a lot of time tinkering
with, creating profiles on, and doing tons and tons of research on –
you will gain some key insights on how to jumpstart your progress and
avoid a lot of common pitfalls.
And if you want to supplement your game with some online dating,
then you will definitely want to know what the best websites are. So
today, I’m going to outline the 6 best online dating sites and why they
are on top. So let’s get to it.
Let me begin by saying that this list is in no particular order.
Sometimes it is easier to rank things than others. This is more a
comprehensive list that will show you all of the best online dating
sites and
highlight their different strengths as well as point out any weaknesses
they have.
So do not pay too much mind to the order in which they are written.
And with that being said, if you don’t feel like scrolling through the
whole article or reading a bunch of details, then here’s a quick list
of the best dating sites:
Now, if you do care about the details, here is the outline of each
site:
OkCupid
OkCupid is definitely one of the dating powerhouses among the
younger generation. It’s free, and it has millions of users in small
towns and large cities all over the United States. Before you can start
effectively using the site, they set you up with a lengthy and
comprehensive list of questions and checklists to ascertain your
interests and values in every area from movies and hobbies to smoking
and drinking.
Some people try to do their best to skip this initial profile setup
(or to do as little as possible). This is a massive tactical error.
This is an error because OkCupid is very intentional about how their
matching algorithm works. It is pretty intricate – and they are very
proud of it – so if you want to get the best matches possible, then
you’ll want to fill out this vital information as quickly and fully as
possible.
That’s not to say that you want to list every detail of your life;
if you have read Chase’s articles, then you know that that’s the
opposite of what you want to do. However, you do want to answer the
questions that filter out the kinds of people you’ll see.
Another reason why you want to fill out this information is because
there is one big downside to OkCupid. The one downside of this dating
giant is the fact that, since it’s free, you can encounter people from
all over the map. There are definitely some weirdos and crazies on OkCupid, so you’ll
want to do your best to filter these girls out as best you can.
It’s important to understand that people who use online dating are
usually having trouble meeting quality people anyway. Some of that is
because of the person himself or herself. So they go to online dating
as a safety net. You don’t want to be someone’s safety net. So guard
yourself as well as you can.
A lot of my research and personal contact feedback have told me that
a lot of people like using the QuickMatch service of OkCupid.
QuickMatch essentially functions much like Tinder, where you see a few
photos and some profile info that the site algorithm suggests for you
and you can either like or pass on the profile.
That being said, a key difference between QuickMatch and Tinder is
that the service lets you know if someone has liked you and gives you
the opportunity to respond and either like them back or pass. If
someone you like likes you back, then it’ll send you an email letting
you know. And then it’s off to the races from there and you can message
them etc.
I don’t know if you’ve ever heard of the book Freakonomics. Chances are you
probably have. If you’ve heard of the book, perhaps you are not aware
of the fact that Freakonomics
also has an NPR podcast (which can be pretty hit or miss, but
definitely explores interesting topics). And on one episode of the Freakonomics podcast, they explore
the phenomenon of OkCupid and how to create the ideal OkCupid profile.
They look at what different dynamics are at play in terms of race,
gender, social status, and a few other factors; and talk about how each
of these factors influences one’s online dating profile perception and
to what extent it matters on the site and on a given profile. So if you
want to gain some key insights, then I’d definitely give it a listen
here:
<br>
POF (Plenty of Fish)
Plenty of Fish is geared toward combining simplicity of use with
power of matching technology. And the general consensus is, for the
most part, that they are pretty successful in doing so. There are two
ways to go about finding girls on Plenty of Fish: you can either search
for them:
- By location, or
- By interests
So if you are really intent on
finding a girl whom you resonate with as a person, then you would do
well to do much of your searching by interests.
That being said, if you are more interested in casting a wide net
and seeing all of the girls around you who are available, then you
should likely search by location. But Plenty of Fish is also smart in
the sense that if two people like each other’s profiles, then these two
people will automatically be matched with one another and can try to
set up a date. And similar to OkCupid, Plenty of Fish is designed to
have a more accurate matching algorithm based on how detailed your
profile is. So purportedly the more interests you have listed on your
profile the better it is at matching women in your geographic area.
And similar to the QuickMatch feature of OkCupid, Plenty of Fish
has a speed matching feature called MeetMe (see a trend happening here?
People want to hook up… fast. Or… at least meet each other. But…
probably hook up). This feature will quickly show you single girls in
your area who share your interests. And if the two of you respectively
like each other, then this allows you to quickly contact each other and
set up a date.
Match
Match is the first and most ubiquitous dating site. Some of my older
friends speak of a lot of great people they have met using the site,
and in general most people have pretty good things to say about it. It
is important to note that Match is a premium website. You can sign up
and browse profiles for free. And you can also send “winks” without
charge as well. However, if you want to send or receive messages –
i.e., actually interact with women – then you will have to pony up some
dough.
The cost is $39.99 per month if you are on a monthly plan or $22.99
per month if you are on a three month plan. Because of these price
points, Match is really designed for those who are serious about going
on dates. Otherwise, it is not worth the price when you have other very
comprehensive free options at your disposal.
But the unique selling propositions that Match has are that it will
weed out all women who are not taking their dating life seriously. It
also has a very “grown-up” feel about it that the other online dating
sites that are
geared more toward a younger generation do not necessarily have.
Finally, besides winks and profile matches, Match also has a call
feature. If you match up with a woman, the two of you can generate
artificial phone numbers and actually call each other using your own
phones. I think Match might be the only dating site that has such a
seamlessly integrated call function.
Match also prides itself on the level of detail with which you can
search for potential partners. Like its counterparts, it has a series
of questions about everything from religion to desired height. But
Match boasts that users actually actively narrow down their potential
dating pool to very specific criteria and then yield a good amount of
users who fall into their set of criteria. So it seems like these
specifics definitely work in Match’s favor.
That being said, a big issue that I hear with Match is the fact that
there are a lot of dead profiles on there. Match claims to have nearly
20 million users, but a lot of statistics show that only 10% of that
population is truly active. So that number can be a bit misleading and
it could be a bit frustrating if you are paying money but not getting a
lot of interactions in return. But it seems like for the most part
people feel that they get most of their money’s worth when they use the
site.
So if you are very serious about your dating life and want to meet
women who are equally serious, and if you do not mind paying a little
money, then you should definitely use Match. Otherwise, if you do not
pay, then you will not be able to receive messages or actually contact
people. So in that case, you should stick to one of the free options
that are on this list.
Also, if you like being matched
based on science, then consider using Match’s sister site:
Chemistry.com. Chemistry
asks you a long series of questions and
then categorizes you into a certain personality type such as
Negotiator, Director, Builder, Explorer, and then matches you with
other personality types who would be most compatible with the way you
interact with people. I think that the service is best for people of an
older generation, but anyone is free to use it. So if you like being
matched based on the most cutting edge neuroscience, then Chemistry
could most certainly be for you.
eHarmony
eHarmony boasts the same massive user base numbers as Match. It has
about 20 million users (however, from what I can tell, all of these
users are actually active on the site).
The biggest difference – and most unique feature of eHarmony – is
the fact that there is no search
feature; the website does all of the work for you. If it could
be said that these other online dating sites are proud of their
matching algorithm,
then it must be said that the makers of this one are married to it.
eHarmony has so much confidence in its matching algorithm that it
does not even let you message users who it deems incompatible with you.
And to even get access to eHarmony, you
have to fill out its long and extremely
thorough questionnaire. This questionnaire supposedly takes
about an hour to complete. And upon completion of said questionnaire,
the algorithm will assess whether there are any members within their
user base that you are compatible with. If it deems that there is no
one you are compatible with (which does happen), then it can reject you and doesn’t even let
you get access to the site to begin with.
But if you do get access, then your work is pretty much done from
that point on. It just starts churning out matches for you. And these
are some damn good matches according to them.
Finally, it should be noted that eHarmony comes with by far the biggest price tag. It is
really for people who are looking for serious relationships or
marriage. It’s $59.99 for 1 month and $119.99 for 3. And I also believe
that they have a couple of other tiers of pricing for even longer term
membership commitments.
So if you are looking for a serious relationship or wife, and want
to let someone else do the heavy lifting in terms of finding the
perfect person for you, then eHarmony may be a good route for you.
MeetMindful
MeetMindful is a fairly new, up-and-coming dating startup site
focused in cities where there are a lot of people who are passionate
about healthy living. It targets people who are conscious of things
like health and wellness. And it markets itself as a site where quality
people find other quality people.
The people on MeetMindful tend to be into things like yoga,
meditation, entrepreneurship, recycling, outdoor exercise and
adventures, etc. It won the best new dating site award of 2014 and its
user base is steadily increasing by the month. So if you live in an
area where people tend to be more conscious, this can definitely be a
great option for you. I actually know the founder of the site, and she
seems to be really excited with the great amount of progress that it
has made since its launch.
The only downside to this site would be if you are in a smaller
town. I am not sure how much reach they have to smaller towns, but if
you are in one and want to do some recon and let me know, then I would
really appreciate it.
JDate
JDate is specifically designed for those of Jewish faith or
heritage. That being said, I think there is a common misunderstanding
that you have to offer some sort of proof of your Jewish heritage in
order to use the site. That is far from the case. JDate is not exclusive to Jewish members.
So what that means is if you are a non-Jewish person looking to meet a
nice Jewess, then JDate can definitely be a great place to look.
This site does not boast any super intricate algorithm matching
program like a couple of its contenders do, but what it does have is a
sizeable dedicated user base that is extremely loyal to the site.
JDate is mostly directed towards people who are looking for a more
serious Jewish relationship. The initial profile questions will ask you
about your religious beliefs and practices, but after that, you are
pretty much free to craft your profile in whatever way you would like.
JDate is also a premium website with a cost of $29.99 per month for
a 3-month membership and $19.99 per month for a 6-month membership.
JDate lets you see how many members are online, which usually
flirts around 15,000. So after you sift through various users based on
their religiosity, it is pretty much up to you to read their profiles
and assess if the two of you would be a match. This does require a bit
more work than a couple of the other online dating sites, but it also
leaves a lot of
the control and facilitation in your hands.
So if you want a nice Jewess and want to have a more active role in
the online dating process, then JDate, a staple of dating online dating
sites for
nearly two decades now, can definitely be a great option for you.
Bonus: Meetup
There is an old saying that goes: “You meet the people you love
doing the things you love.” And much of my research has shown that many
Internet users love using Meetup as a method of encountering people who
share their same interests in real life. And it seems that there are
quite a few good romantic success stories to this end. The steps are
very simple:
- Find a group or event that you are passionate about
- Go to said event
- Actively meet people (women)
- Go again, because it’s something you love doing
So if you want to meet women who are passionate about what you are
passionate about, then go to the site that brings people of the same
passions together. Nuff said.
A Quick Note About Race and Money
If you haven’t listened to the Freakonomics
podcast already because you’ve been too enthralled with my writing or
are just too lazy, here are a few key points that they make in that
podcast episode.
-
Race Matters.
A lot.
Minority men get far fewer matches and far fewer interactions than
their white counterparts. It seems that things are worst for Asian men
on this front. I have pointed out in many different articles how one
can work to get around racial stereotypes in general, and these tenets
still apply online: good pictures in nice clothes, clean profile, etc.
(and as an aside, I cover how to make the perfect minority man profile
on Tinder – which applies to any online dating profile – in my new
upcoming Tinder book).
And as another interesting note, in terms of women, black women really get it the worst in online dating. They send out the most messages and received the fewest responses.
-
Money Matters.
In terms
of OkCupid, users who list that they make 6-figure incomes and above
get significantly more matches. Now before you go and start making
cries about “gold-diggers”, just think about it this way: more money means a greater ability to
provide for your family. That means a better chance for your kids, and
better educational/travel opportunities for every member of your clan.
And this in turn means a higher likelihood of the success of your
offspring. So yes, of course money would be attractive to
females. So if you do find yourself in the higher income brackets,
don’t forget to point that out.
Online Dating Sites Wrap Up
Online dating can definitely be a fine supplement to any man’s game.
So if you are thinking about crossing over into this realm, or just
want to focus your efforts for that matter, then now you know exactly
what to do.
You know what the general philosophy of each site is, you know the
costs, you know the pros and cons, you know who they are geared toward,
so all that is left is, well… you.
So the question is: which will you choose?
Carpe diem,
Colt
