Tuesday, December 19, 2017

10 Awkward Conversations You Need to Have with Your Partner

10 Awkward Conversations You Need to Have with Your Partner man woman couple love wife husband

 Although the “define the relationship” talk is one couples dread, there are worse conversations. Here are 10 awkward relationship conversations.

An awkward conversation consists of lots of fidgeting, sweating, hemming, and hawing. Some can breeze through it with nary a scratch, but most of us end up traumatized by the sheer anxiety alone.
It’s like the annoying relative that you need to entertain during family functions, even though you can’t stand them. You just have to wait it out until you can get some air.

Why awkward relationship conversations are necessary
Typically, awkward conversations are awkward because there is a stigma of sorts involved in the topic to be discussed. If the two people discussing it were open-minded individuals, it wouldn’t be an issue at all. 

Unfortunately, there are still some things that feel too sensitive to discuss. As much as you’d like to be open-minded about these things, you still need to consider how the other person feels about addressing them.
Once you’re done, however, you can breathe a sigh of relief, because you finally cleared the air with your partner. Even if you don’t get the reaction you wanted, there’s something to be said about actually dealing with an issue, rather than just sweeping it under the rug.

What are the most common awkward conversations between partners?

#1 The STD talk. Let’s get right down to the heavy stuff and admit that this is probably the most awkward and disconcerting topic of all. Not many are keen to admit to how many partners they’ve had—especially if the number is a cause for concern. Most couples stick to their conviction that it’s highly unlikely that they have an STD. No symptoms, no dice. 
But that’s where things can go horribly wrong. A lot of STDs have long incubation periods—like HIV—and some are even asymptomatic, like Chlamydia in its early stages. For some, being asked to get tested can be as bad as being asked to strip naked in public. It all depends on how seriously they take their partner’s concern.

#2 The possibility of marriage. The discussion about when to get married should never be an awkward conversation. It’s going to be the happiest day of your lives yet, for crying out loud. The possibility of getting married, however, is a different story. Not all couples in serious relationships are open to the idea of marriage.
If you and your partner have never discussed it before, the time to finally do it can be extremely harrowing, especially if you have no idea how they’ll react. Many a relationship has faltered due to slight hesitation at the word marriage. You better be prepared for every eventuality, because you might not get the answers you want.

#3 Getting caught in a lie. A lie is one of the most damaging sins in a relationship. Once you get caught, especially when lying about serious stuff, you’ve effectively proven that you are untrustworthy. After that, doubt sets in. What else have you lied about? Is the relationship also a lie?
When you’re given a chance to explain yourself, it’s going to be very emotional. The awkwardness, however, comes with the task of admitting that you screwed up. You have to explain why you lied and how you’re going to fix the problem. There might also be some begging involved.

#4 Asking for something you know they won’t agree to. Nothing is more awkward than asking to be said no to. You know there’s a slim chance your partner will say yes, but you still have to ask because you won’t get any sleep if you don’t. 
The problem is that these types of conversations are set up to fail. Why? Because you know your partner well enough to have an idea of how they’ll react. Still, if it’s something really important, like buying a dog or a sports car, you need to check with them.

#5 Discussing a friend who is getting a little too close. One of the hardest things you can tell your partner is that someone close to them betrayed you—other than you, that is. They have a different sort of trust in the people in their lives who came before you, so it’s going to be hard for them to believe that someone close to them tried to hit on you.
Apart from that, they have to deal with it. They can’t just sweep it under the rug, and they need to come to terms with the idea that they might lose someone important to them because of it. It’s not just an awkward conversation. It’s going to be heartbreaking, as well.  

#6 Telling them when family members become too meddlesome. Another issue is when family members get too close. Some families think it’s okay to put their two cents in—or even the whole family fortune—when a couple is experiencing problems. Even when everything’s fine, some family members still have an opinion of how you can *and should* improve your relationship.
That can be disheartening, knowing there’s a possibility that they will become your family one day, as well. When the issue is grave, it can create a problem that might isolate you and your partner from their family.

#7 Explaining something you forgot to tell your partner about. When your friend starts telling you and your partner a story about something that you casually forgot to mention—like dating a certain someone in the past, or having done a boatload of ecstasy in college—how do you think your partner will react to this little tidbit?
We doubt they’d be happy about it, but some people are more tolerant than others. The problem is how you’re going to tell your version of the story, and whether or not you’re going to stick to it.

#8 Accidentally getting pregnant. Getting pregnant is considered a blessing by many, but the initial reaction for some can be quite nerve-wracking. Having kids is a big deal, and most couples aren’t prepared for that kind of responsibility. When you take every precaution and still get pregnant, it’s another story.
Telling your partner about it is necessary, but it can also be scary. Neither of you expected this to happen so soon, so it’s hard to say how either of you will react. Aside from that, you’re stuck wondering if you forgot to take a pill or let your handy box of condoms expire. 

#9 Talking about your exes. Oh, the dreaded ex talk. It’s not necessary to talk about every person you’ve dated, but your partner will want to know about the ones who mattered to you. Aside from that, you’re probably wondering about their exes, as well.
At the beginning of a relationship, it’s not necessary to rehash the past, because it’s not significant to this stage. It’s all about you two and how you work as a couple. When the time comes, you’ll have to talk about sensitive things like this. If you don’t, you’ll end up having a very awkward conversation that could have been avoided in the first place.

#10 Having to break up. Why does breaking up have to be awkward? It’s necessary for some people, isn’t it? But it can still be awkward when one of you isn’t expecting it. Obviously, there’s trouble in paradise. If one of you refuses to acknowledge that, any conversation from there on out will be particularly awkward, since you have no intention of staying in the relationship.
If you do get past that stage, you and your partner can rest easy, knowing that a huge problem has been acknowledged. Whether or not you wish to continue your relationship is subject for discussion, but at least you’ve taken the first step to letting go of the pain and finding your true happiness.
Awkward relationship discussions can sometimes be serious, but they can also cover completely trivial things. The one thing they all have in common is this: nobody wants to have them.

Knowing what awaits you in an awkward conversation can be a big help. Some conversations will feel less awkward when you know what you’re up against. That way, you can prepare yourself and your partner for any truth bombs you’re about to throw their way. Remember: an awkward relationship conversation only lasts until you’ve said your piece.
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Should You Stay or Should You Go? The 7 Big Criteria

lonely woman girl sad Should You Stay or Should You Go? The 7 Big Criteria

 On the fence when it comes to keeping your relationship? Find out if you should keep fighting for your relationship by checking for these 7 signs!

Every relationship has its rough with its smooth, but there may come a time when the former begins to outweigh the latter. With constant bickering and back-biting providing a dubious background to your relationship, you might start to wonder whether the time has come to call it a day and head off to pastures new. But before you do, it might be a good idea to sit down and work out whether the pros outweigh the cons, and save yourself some potential heartbreak further down the line.

Reading between the lines
So how do you decide whether to keep on going with what you have or ditch it all and run for the next available option on the menu? Well, there are some giveaway signs of a good relationship that can be identified which, despite the bad patch you and your partner are currently going through, might just convince you to hang on a little bit longer. The following list outlines ten signs that point to a relationship that is definitely worth keeping.

#1 Bickering. Hold on a second… bickering as a reason to KEEP a relationship? No, you haven’t read wrongly. Although bickering might be seen by many as a reason to cast a relationship aside, there is more to suggest the opposite.
Bickering is a form of negotiation practice, similar to a complaint in a sales or customer service environment. Most experienced salespeople will tell you that in their line of trade, a complaint about price, for example, is an invitation to negotiate. Any invitation is, by very definition and despite the way it is phrased or framed, a positive thing.
What salespeople fear most is a polite nod or token agreement, followed up by complete disregard. Bickering is a way of hammering out differences and working out issues. It is not a brick wall to bang one’s head against, and if it seems that way, then just take a moment to consider that you might be the stubborn one. Little arguments are great opportunities to renegotiate the terms of the relationship. 

#2 A good sex life. Any sexually experienced man or woman will tell you in no uncertain terms that good sex, and by good I mean the kind that leaves you goggle-eyed and panting like a Friar at a wet T-shirt competition, comes along very rarely. If you have a relationship with someone who truly makes the earth move for you, then you need to think long and hard about discarding it.
This is not, by the way, in any way a shallow comment. Despite the fact that a good relationship is invariably a strongly physical relationship, great sex is usually a sign that there is a very deep connection between two people, and this connection must be cultivated and nurtured. Walking from one great sex life to another is almost unheard of – and, as described, there’s a very good reason for that. 

#3 Your partner is your best friend. Again, how often does this happen? Not only do you have perfect sex, but your partner is the person you turn to through all life’s trials and tribulations. Every time you need a good and honest opinion, they are there for you. Every time there’s a discussion you want or need to have, they are your first port of call. This is such an important thing.
No man or woman is an island, and having access to that other person whom you can springboard off to make your decisions and clarify your thoughts on a pretty much 24 hour basis is an invaluable part of life, once you have it. It’s not something that should be lightly thrown away.

#4 You share a good sense of humor. Although the term “good sense of humor” is a very subjective one, if you believe that you both have one, then this is a definite reason to keep your relationship going. Humor, along with sex, is one of life’s most effective ways of dissolving stresses and tensions, and if it provides a cornerstone to your relationship, then that is definitely something that you can rebuild your relationship upon.
Interestingly, a sense of humor is often cited by women as one of the things they look for most in a potential partner, and the reason for that is that life can sometimes be tough. But when life does turn for the worst, and we all experience hard times upon occasion, then a good sense of humor shared by the both of you is a great weapon in the war against personal adversity. 

#5 Neither of you are attracted to others. The reasons for this factor indicating that you’re in a relationship with a keeper should be fairly self-evident. First of all, if you’re attracted to your partner still, then surely this is a sign that you’re in a healthy and worthwhile relationship.
Secondly, why on earth would you leave someone whom you are inexorably attracted to, in order to attempt to develop a relationship with another person, whoever that poor person might be? There is a reason that you’re only attracted to each other, and that’s because your hormones, being wiser on this occasion than you are, know that you are meant to be together.

#6 You support each other’s aspirations. Do you realize how rarely this happens? So many couples are dismissive, unsupportive or even jealous of the other’s aspirations, to the point where they stop being aspirations at all, and become pipe dreams and dead plans.
However, if you’re in a relationship where you can tell your partner about your hopes and dreams without reservation and those same aspirations, with your partner’s encouragement, have started to become a reality, then have no doubt about it – you are in a relationship with a definite keeper. Do you still want to throw all that away?

#7 You have your own life. You come together at the end of a working day, you go out together on a regular basis, and invariably end up together in the sack each night. But, and this is a big but *if that’s the kind of thing you like*, you both still have your own friends, your own hobbies and your own lives. Getting that kind of balance right is incredibly difficult.
It is usually the case that one of the couple prefers to spend all their time in the company of the other, whilst the other is always gallivanting around the bars and clubs with friends. The first feels that their partner is spurning them, whilst the latter that they are being stifled. This difference in approach to the amount of time spent together eventually breeds resentment and a highly dissatisfied environment.
When you meet a balance of spending time together and spending time doing your own thing, you can be sure that this kind of balance is rare in a world where couples always feel like they’re getting the ugly end of the bargain. If you have this, hold on to it as best you can!

How does your relationship hold up?
Our tally of the 7 points above is all well and good of course, but no relationship is perfect and you are unlikely to check every box. So how to decide whether your relationship is worth keeping or not depends very much on how many of these boxes you DO check.

No boxes checked: If your relationship has none of the 7 point above, then we really must ask why you’re staying with your partner. Without at least one of these 7 points, your relationship can head towards a downward spiral in a snap!

One box checked: If even one of the above points is true, then it is definitely worth sitting down and having a serious think about staying put.

Two to three boxes checked: It’s a fairly good bet that staying with your partner is the correct way forward.

Four or more boxes checked: If four or more of the points above are true in the case of your relationship, then you should have no doubt in your mind that you have met the partner of your dreams, and you’re just going through one of those perennially rocky stages that we all have to deal with.
Of course, if you’ve ticked four or more boxes and you still want to move on, then it’s time you realized that EVERY relationship needs at least some amount of work, and you might need to admit to yourself that your expectations aren’t altogether realistic.
 
Though there are other factors that come into play when it comes to keeping a relationship, these 7 points are by far some of the most important ones. Give your relationship a thorough examination, and if you find none of these points, then it may be safe to say that you should start packing your bags for greener pastures. 
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20 Revealing Signs That Show You May Be Growing Apart

 
20 Revealing Signs That Show You May Be Growing Apart man woman wear black jackets couple

Every relationship has its ups and downs, but if the downs are starting to add up, you may be growing apart. Here are 20 signs that you’re drifting away.

When you meet someone for the first time and fall in love with them, it’s difficult to envision anything coming between you. At this initial stage, of course, you’re seeing each other through rose-colored glasses—nothing can diminish your love. When the relationship then becomes more serious and you move in together, however, those dreamy glasses tend to come off, revealing sudden and sometimes surprising flaws in your relationship.
Throw life’s mundane responsibilities into the mix, such as bills and shared household duties, and what was once a bright and sparkling romance can seem a very drab and lifeless alternative. It is almost inevitable, then, that this will result in a feeling of drifting apart. The signs might be fairly few, minor, and fixable, or you may have reached a stage where the fight to get back to normality is a very difficult one, indeed.

20 warning signs you’re growing apart
The following list varies in severity, and the more you can identify in your own relationship, the more serious of a warning sign it might be. Whether you use this information to try to work at making things better or to simply cut your losses and walk away, well… that’s entirely up to you.

#1 Snappy chat. Constant bickering can be a sign that you’re starting to drift apart, although it is also common in the initial period of living together, when you’re both trying to set boundaries. Either way, it needs to be dealt with before it becomes something more serious and can no longer be fixed. 

#2 The silent treatment. If the bickering is replaced by resentful silence, then this really is serious. What’s usually going on behind that silence is that the partner in question has resigned themselves to the idea that the relationship is coming to an end, which can be a very difficult mindset to correct.

#3 Hands off. Has a once tactile and touchy-feely relationship become hands-off? This is another sure sign of a relationship where two people are growing apart. 

#4 Worlds apart. Another sign that you’re both growing apart is that you share very few interests, with your spare time spent primarily in pursuit of activities that don’t include each other.

#5 A couple that laughs together. Laughter really is the best medicine, and if you share a sense of humor, it’s much easier to diffuse life’s worries and woes. If laughter is something you no longer share with your partner, however, then how can the two of you expect to get through the tough times together?

#6 It’s all in the timing. If you find that your sex drives are out of sync, one wanting it when the other doesn’t and vice versa, then this is because you are simply responding to your biological rhythms and have stopped responding to each other. Not a very positive sign, but one that can be corrected with a little effort. 

#7 Getting your priorities straight. Are you suddenly finding that staying in the relationship is no longer as significant a priority as other goals you have? If so, you have already grown quite far apart, and you really need to sit down with your partner and work out whether or not there is still a point in carrying on.

#8 Family feuds. If one of you has stopped making an effort to maintain a relationship with the other’s family, it’s because that person is subconsciously indicating that they no longer see them as a part of their future.

#9 Going for goal. When you first get together with someone, you often find your future goals and aims to be in tandem. If they have started to diverge, however, then it’s likely that your relationship has, too.

#10 Hitting the board. Emotionally close partners come home after a day’s work and springboard off each other with ideas, grievances, emotions, and whatever else. No longer doing so is another definite sign of growing apart.

#11 What’s on your mind? It’s natural to have occasional sexual thoughts about others. If you have thoughts about everyone except your other half, however, then the future doesn’t look very bright for either of you.

#12 Selective hearing. Genuinely listening to someone shows you have respect for and interest in what they have to say. If not, well… it doesn’t take a genius to realize that things have gone sadly awry.

#13 Bringing up the past. Another sign that you’re growing apart is when one or both of you keep bringing up hurtful events from the past. It shows that the negatives of the relationship are being dwelled upon and that at least one of you is questioning the relationship’s viability. 

#14 Half a person. If one of you feels like you are compromising too much to be in your relationship, then things are not developing into a healthy relationship, and this tip in the scales isn’t likely to change.

#15 Different strokes. Differences of opinion are natural. What’s not natural is a complete inability to talk over differences constructively and without fighting. Such a lack of compromise shows that all is not well with your relationship.

#16 Anchor weight. Does the presence of your partner often feel less like a weight off your shoulders and more like an anchor around your neck? This shows that one of you is in need of more contact than the other, and that is clearly a sign of a deteriorating and unbalanced relationship.

#17 Itchy feet. If everything your partner says irritates you beyond reason, then you may have already grown apart so much that staying together is no longer an option. A break from each other, at the least, would seem to be in order.

#18 Bleak house. When you think about the future in general, does it seem bleak and uninspiring? This may be because on a subconscious level, you have already identified the fact that you’re growing apart, and therefore can’t find anything exciting or inspiring about a joined future. 

#19 Encouraging signs. Another sign of growing apart is when a partner who used to encourage your ambitions and passions suddenly goes quiet, leaving you feeling cut adrift. This is a passive-aggressive way of telling you that they just don’t care anymore.

#20 The words don’t work. If you’ve already identified that you no longer mean it when you say you love them, then you don’t need anyone else to tell you that you have already grown apart. All that’s left to do now is to sit down and decide whether everything else you have with that person is worth sticking around for. 

Even if there are multiple signs that you are growing apart, it doesn’t necessarily mean that the relationship is over, but it does mean that you must do something about it *and fast* if you are to salvage what’s left.
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Monday, December 18, 2017

Sexy & Sweet Snapchat Ideas to Improve Your Relationship

Sexy & Sweet Snapchat Ideas to Improve Your Relationship girl chatting social networks

 Snapchat’s fun features might be the answer to spicing up your relationship. Read on to discover some smart, fun Snapchat ideas to use with your honey.

Most of you know what Snapchat is, but not many know the benefits of using such a fun and interactive app. Although it serves as a safe environment for sending and receiving temporary information like photos, messages, and videos, it’s also a way for people to grow closer.
Even though the snaps can disappear in as short as 3 seconds or as long as 24 hours, couples can still use the app to communicate with each other on a deeper level. Photos may disappear and videos may never be watched again, but the effects will resonate with each user after each and every snap.

Snapchat for couples
When Snapchat first came out, millennials were the first to subscribe to its crazy and innovative concept. People could post photos and videos without fearing that their information would get lost in the sea of viewers. If you used Snapchat, you would always know who saw your snaps and who was brave enough to take a screenshot of your stories and messages.
Couples can take advantage of these features, not just to send naughty pics, but also so they can grow closer with their partners. Why? Because as it turns out, Snapchat can be a helpful communication tool for couples.
We’re not talking about filtered Instagram posts or orchestrated Facebook statuses. We’re talking about real-time, honest messages that can be sent through one of the most interesting apps out there today. Now, here are some tips that couples can use to make their relationship more awesome.

#1 Use the app for random conversations. Important messages need to be archived and saved in computers and phones, but random conversations would be better off in an app like Snapchat. The problem with conventional messaging apps is that people are less inclined to read conversations, especially when they know it’s just sitting there waiting.
At least with Snapchat, there’s a 10-second period that requires a person to read the snap before it disappears forever. Talk about deadlines!

#2 Send your partner a photo using any of the cute and funny lenses. Snapchat releases a new lens for their camera everyday. These lenses are either designed to be funny, cute, or scary. Either way, capturing a selfie using the lens will offer tons of entertaining photos for you and your partner on a daily basis. And let’s admit it. Who wouldn’t want to use the puppy dog lens over and over again, right?

#3 Filter your photos using emojis. Research shows that people who use emojis have better relationships. Imagine how much your relationship would improve if you started sending photos or selfies with emojis! Take a picture or video using Snapchat and add an emoji while you edit. 

#4 Use Snapchat instead of Facebook or Instagram when killing time with your partner. When you and your partner are waiting for the bus or killing time while your food is being prepared, you can use Snapchat instead of other social media apps.
Depending on how many followers you have, Snapchat doesn’t suck you in for long periods of time the way other apps do. You’ll be done looking at your friends’ stories in as little as two minutes, which gives you more time to talk to your partner because there isn’t an endless list of posts waiting to be perused.

#5 Send your partner sexy snaps – very carefully. Of course you’re going to use Snapchat for this. It was practically invented for this very purpose! We’re kidding, but this will serve as a way for you and your partner to spice things up when you’re not together. Just make sure that you’re not posting the snap on your story. Triple check it every time, lest you send a sexy snap to everyone or *gasp* your mother.

#6 Use the app for sexting. If you’re still reluctant to send photos or videos, you can always sext using the snap’s messaging feature. The messages will disappear after 24 hours, but you can still rest assured knowing that none of your friends or family will accidentally open your phone and find your kinky messages. 

#7 Change your name to a sweet message for your partner. Snapchat allows you to change your display name to whatever you want. Change your name to a short and sweet message for your partner so that the next time they check their story feed, they’ll know that your username is meant just for them.

#8 Send snaps of existing stories. If you and your partner start getting tired of sending each other random snaps, you can always use other people’s snaps. Take a screenshot of an interesting photo and send it through a personal message. Snapchat even has a feature with exclusive content from different online outlets like Buzzfeed, IGN, and Tastemade. Funny stuff, food, and videogames – what else is there to talk about?

#9 Share your moments with your friends and loved ones. Use Snapchat to document special occasions and dates and post them on your story. You can always save the photos, but at least this way, you don’t have to choose which photos to post. Snapchat is all about live updates. Of course, you can do this with other apps, but Snapchat is a safe haven where people are not judged on the volume of photos they post. 

#10 Save your snaps and turn them into a printed Snapchat album. An album like this is centered on a theme, which is what albums should be. You have your Valentine’s album, your Christmas album, your random concert album – why not a Snapchat album? Using exclusive Snapchat filters and lenses, you can create an album with unlimited possibilities. Need a photo with a huge emoji? You got it! Need to throw up some rainbows? Snapchat has you covered.

#11 Face swap with your partner for a few laughs. I’ve seen adorable face swaps, scary face swaps, and even weird ones, but almost all of them will end up being funny. Keep a few face swap photos for the memories so you can look at them whenever you guys are fighting or if either of you are having a bad day.  

#12 Send your partner random videos of your day. Nothing beats a photo like a video can. The best part about Snapchat videos is that you can add lenses and filters. Sending Snapchat videos seems like a normal thing to do, but sending a nonsensical video of your day is still sort of entertaining. Who knows? You might get some great footage of someone slipping on a banana peel. That never happens in real life, right?

#13 Use Snapchat to send your partner a legit #iwokeuplikethis snap. Show your partner your true self and they will fall in love with you forever. Of course, if they break up with you after, they were never good for you to begin with. This is what people call “relationship goals,” and it’s a great milestone for any relationship. The best part is that Snapchat will alert you if your partner took a screenshot, and if not, it will forever be erased from existence.
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