Do you think you know best when it comes to arguing? Well, nobody likes a know-it-all. Here are 6 things you should NEVER ever say during a fight!
While fighting may come naturally to some, to others it’s an intense
battleground they’d rather steer clear of. One of the biggest problems
with arguing with your partner is that there’s no referee, and no one
there to say, “Whoa, that one was below the belt!” Instead, you’re left
with emotions on high-alert, and all the potential in the world to say
things that will land you in the doghouse for weeks to come.
Things to avoid and keeping a clear head
So what’s too much, and is there a “right” way to fight? One thing
to keep in mind is respect. While it isn’t always easy to show respect
when you want to tear someone’s face off *figuratively, of course* it is
essential to maintaining a loving relationship—even in the midst of an
all-out war.
How do you freshen up on the rules of relationship show-downs? We’re
here to help. These are some of the absolute worst things you can say
during an argument.
#1 We’re done. Feeling unwanted and disrespected is
unbearable in a relationship. The threat of “It’s over!” or “Fine, maybe
we should break up!” accomplishes both. Sure, you’re mad. But you’re
not a 16 year old girl anymore. If you’re super serious about this
relationship, you should probably leave the empty “breakup” threats
where they belong: in high school.
Either you love this person and you want to work it out, or you
don’t. Don’t pull the bitch card and pretend you’re done with your
relationship if it’s really only a ploy to hurt your partner. If you
feel like your partner isn’t taking you seriously, throwing empty
threats around isn’t going to help.
#2 Your penis is: insert insult. Do you have certain
thoughts or feelings regarding your man’s dick? If so, telling him
about it during an argument *especially if you’re losing* is so low, you
should win an award! Relaying your negative feelings about your
partner’s penis size is a *big* no-no. This is something you can’t take
back, whether your sentiments are honest or not. If they are honest,
well, then he’s always going to know that his junk was too small for
you.
If you’re just pretending to experience dissatisfaction with the size
of his member then… well… you’re a jerk! Harsh, but true. Besides, if
you’re fighting about how the other partner doesn’t help out enough
around the house, how could you possibly slip in, “Plus, your penis size
totally isn’t doing it for me, like ever!” into a conversation and
still be taken seriously? Impossible! As you argue, stick to relevant
topics and avoid pointless insults.
#3 “You’re fat,” and other body insults. Much like
the male penis size, the female body size is not something that should
be picked on, mocked, or insulted—EVER—let alone when you’re in a fight!
If you know your girlfriend really well, then you likely know her
insecurities. Indeed, you probably know exactly what area you could
target that would both hurt her feelings and make her question her
self-worth all at once.
Much like making comments about penis size, telling your girlfriend
how you really feel about her body—or poking fun at her weight or
insecurities—is something you can’t take back. Trust us, you’ll spend
years trying to restore the self-esteem you tore down in a single
comment. Even if you have a totally legitimate reason for being pissed
at your girl, leave her body and her looks out of it.
#4 You can’t satisfy me. When you’re in a fight,
especially if it’s not on topic, the last thing you should do is bring
up any sexual issues you’ve been having. Whether you’ve been faking it,
you think your partner is no good in the sack, he doesn’t last long
enough, she lasts too long, oral is a bummer, you want to do something
kinky and they don’t—whatever! Whatever it is that you’ve been stowing
away in the back of your mind, keep it there!
Bringing up sexual dissatisfactions while you’re already in the
middle of a heated argument is just a recipe for hurt feelings… oh yeah,
and disaster! If you’re feeling frustrated about a sexual matter, save
it for a more appropriate time and place and address the issue kindly.
#5 Remember when… Let’s say that your partner
cheated on you in the past, revealed a personal secret, or said
something really insensitive after a few too many Jell-o shots. Whatever
the situation, if your partner wronged you in the past and you have
since forgiven them, don’t use a new argument to dredge up past
mistakes.
When you forgive someone, it means you stop blaming them for their
wrongdoing and have absolved them of their mistakes. True forgiveness
means letting go of the past and moving on for the sake of both parties.
Once you forgive, keep it that way, because you never know when your
partner may return the favor of using a past indiscretion against you
#6 Just relax! This one goes for all the men out
there *but certainly applies to women, as well*. If you are in the
middle of an argument with your sweetie pie, NEVER tell them to “Just
relax.” As ridiculous as it may sound and even if your partner is
screaming their head off at you, we can almost guarantee your situation
will be 5 times worse after you’ve told your lover to relax.
Arguing is about stress-relief, getting worries off of your chest,
and resolving issues. Telling your mate to relax while they’re trying to
air out relationship issues that upset them is like poking the
beast—and don’t you know you should never, ever poke the beast?
One of the best things you can do while engaging in an argument is to
stay on topic; don’t start throwing out words that you can’t take back,
and hey—accept a little responsibility! It takes two to argue, and
occasionally being the one to say, “Hey, I’m a bit of a jerk, too. Let’s
start over?” will go a long way when it comes to arguing, both now and
in the future.
