How do you know when to make a fuss of something and when not to? If you want to maintain your relationship, there are issues you must let go of.
Of course, these issues are very subjective and should be taken with a
pinch of salt. Many factors come into play when determining what you
should and shouldn’t ignore in a relationship. Your age, your
personality, your partner’s dating history, how long you’ve been
together, and many other little things should be considered.
Personality plays a major role in whether to let certain things go.
For example, dealing with a bossy partner may bother someone who is
easier going than someone who isn’t. Andy and Jimmy have been together
for 14 years, and Andy has complained on more than one occasion that
despite both of them being men, his partner wears the pants in the
family. It’s not something that just recently cropped up, but something
he has been aware of since their first date.
On the other hand, Matthias and Andrea were together for all of 2
months when Andrea unceremoniously dumped Matthias. She claimed that he
was too bossy for his own good, and she simply could not envision a life
with him.
Everyone is different, and there’s really no shame in admitting it.
It all comes down to how strong your bond with your partner is. If you
think that confronting your lover will improve the relationship, then
you should try to work on things. However, if you think it’s going to
bring on more problems and resentment, then let it go. Of course, be
sure to have your best interests at heart, and never settle for
mediocrity.
What issues aren’t worth fighting over?
If you’re stumped, here is a general guideline on 11 little relationship issues that you’re better off just ignoring.
#1 Bossiness. If you have to deal with a bossy
partner, then you’re not the only one. It shouldn’t bother you too much
because you can always tune out the bossiness and do it your way. They
of all people will understand the importance of getting things done your
way. All you have to do is calmly remind your partner that being bossy
may advance their career, but at home, that attitude has to be left at
the door.
#2 Alone time. There’s nothing wrong if your partner
needs some alone time. Don’t let it bother you too much because alone
time is very important, especially if you live together. There are many
ways for you and your partner to enjoy solo time without actually living
apart. For example, one can indulge in a night out with friends, while
the other stays home with the laundry.
You can also do something simple like plan a lazy day in where you
dominate the bedroom, and your partner gets the living room. Indulge in
sitting around alone in your knickers and zoning out to the latest
season of Orange Is the New Black, and when both of you are ready to reunite, just call out to each other.
#3 Superiority. I was on the fence about including
this in the list, but I personally feel that having a partner who lords
over you is a problem that many people face. This is definitely a
personality issue and can easily be swept under the rug if you’re
patient enough or know that your partner means no harm.
For example, Dannie has been with Andrew for over 6 years, and even
people meeting them for the first time can tell that she plays the
superior role in the relationship. Whether she intends to or not, she
projects the impression that she’s better at everything. From how she
does the dishes to how much she makes, she makes it seem like her
accomplishments matter more than his.
Being made to feel inferior may break a lesser man, but Andrew knows
that she means no harm. For all we know, how they behave in public may
completely differ from what they’re like behind closed doors.
#4 Friend time. Another issue that may cause
problems in your relationship is when your partner wants to spend plenty
of time with his or her friends. I personally don’t see this as an
issue, but many people do. They think that because they’re with someone,
they should spend every waking moment together.
If you’re one of these people, you have to let this go. There’s
nothing wrong with letting your lover spend some quality time with
people who care about them. Poker night with the boys is harmless, and
so is heading for cocktails with the girls. Always remember that it’s
good spending some time apart and focusing on yourself. When your
partner is out and about with friends, you should do the same.
#5 Lame jokes. Another relationship issue to let go
of is your partner’s weak sense of humor. Say your lover cracks the
lamest, most sarcastic jokes that do nothing more than embarrass you. If
this is an issue, look at it this way: you should be pleased that your
partner is making the effort to connect with you and the people around
you.
Sure, telling lame jokes may not be the best way to do it, but you
have to give them credit for trying. Go the extra mile, and laugh every
so often at one of these jokes because hey, it doesn’t hurt to make them
feel good.
#6 Kinkiness. This may be more of a plus point than
an issue for most couples, but kinkiness is undoubtedly a problem for
some. Just let it go, and play along. There’s truly nothing wrong with
expanding your sexual horizons and trying things that you never thought
you would. For all you know, you may awaken the sexual beast in you and
discover a whole new world of wonder.
#7 Inexperience. For some, dating someone with
minimal or no relationship experience is a deal breaker. The same can be
said for virgins. However, what matters most is your love for this
person, not how much or how frequently they have loved in the past. From
teaching your partner how to kiss just right to schooling them on the
ins and outs of a serious relationship, think of it as a journey rather
than a hindrance.
#8 Messiness. Socks in the hallway? Makeup spilling
over every surface counter? Unmade bed? Well, messiness is very
subjective. What may seem like an unholy mess to you may just be how
things are done to others. There’s nothing wrong with gently reminding
your partner to pick up after themselves and to make an effort to cater
to your neat whims, but don’t blow it out of proportion. Only make a
fuss if their messiness crosses the line and traipses into the
unhygienic zone.
#9 Nitpicking. Why don’t you shave? Shouldn’t you
iron that shirt? Do you think it’s time you go on a diet? Nitpicking is
an issue that many people cannot stand, and for good reason, too. No one
likes being told that how they’re doing things is wrong and stupid. If
your partner nitpicks, then you should let them know that it’s your life
to live and that you appreciate their concern.
However, don’t let this become too big of an issue because the same
way a mother hen pokes and prods, your partner is just saying and doing
these things because they want the best for you.
#10 Spending habits. Whether they’re a big spender
or a thrifty miser, let them do as they please with their money. So long
as they set aside a respectable amount for a rainy day and don’t need
you to prop them up, let them do as they please. It’s their money, hence
their decision to spend it as they see fit.
#11 Your friends hate your partner. We have all been
exposed to that uncomfortable scenario whereby your friends don’t get
along with your partner. You can no longer plan group get-togethers
without being shot a couple of eye rolls from your besties.
At the end of the day, you’re the one dating this person, not them,
so you should just let this relationship issue go. In fact, it shouldn’t
even be an issue at all. Your friends will eventually come around, so
no matter what, keep trying to make it work on both sides.
When all is said and done, you should know if the issues you’re
facing are those that you can live with or something you need to quash
before things get out of hand. If you don’t know whether to pursue it,
always listen to your inner voice. If your intuition tells you to
confront your partner, then do it. Sure, there are consequences to be
dealt with, but when you do it for yourself, you’ll feel a whole lot
better about it no matter the outcome.
Pick your relationship battles instead of hounding your
partner for every little issue that you spot. There are some
relationship issues that are better off being ignored, so you might as
well save yourself the stress and ignore them!
