Once a marriage undergoes a few years of bliss, there are severe conflicts between the wife and husband that take place. A lot of couples have unspoken hurts and resentments which create an undercurrent of unhappiness in their home and personal life. A lot of men don’t know how to touch their wife’s heart with their words, surprises, love and care. If your relationship dynamics are on the same plane, you can heal your own issues and save your marriage! Here are some tips that can help you to stop fighting with your wife.
1. Remember to remain firm and assertive
Always remember to remain firm and assertive. You do not want your wife to lose respect for you by just thinking that you will agree with her on everything and do whatever she says. You are married because she was attracted to you for being a man! So do not think that you are bound to agree on everything she says just because you are married to her. Take polite efforts to make your wife understand why you don’t agree with her on some issues. If you don’t like something that she says or demands and if you think that you can’t fulfill the same then give her logical reasons to help her understand why her wish can’t be fulfilled.
2. Be sensible and logical
Arguments and fights come out from the burst of emotions. When feelings overcome you, you lose the ability to be logical. This is the reason why most couples argue. They let their emotions to rule them.
3. Take a break and give her some space
If you are having a lot of fights now-a-days then you need to take a moment, calm down and think twice before you say anything to her. Even a minute’s break can help a couple to push the reset button over a fight! This helps you to find out whether you are fighting on a genuine issue or it’s just an argument that’s taking shape of a fight.
4. Show love signals
No matter how upset you are, your love must overcome the anger or frustration. So, give her love signals by saying things like “I love you”, “you are the best part of my life” or by giving her a soft hug. This will help you to stop the fight.
5. Avoid the word ‘but’
Don’t use this word in your arguments as it will not take you to a conclusion but will exaggerate the argument which leads to fight.
6. Accept your mistakes
Admit what you did to get your wife ticked off and express empathy towards her. This can be difficult but extremely successful. Letting go in the heat of arguments seems unreasonable, but it is very effective with couples. Always accept your mistakes!
7. Avoid criticism and sarcasm
Criticism and sarcasm do nothing to end fights. This type of communication makes the partner feel disrespected. Try to voice the problem as a concern and not as a complain or criticism.
8. Show respect
Another important way of avoiding fights is to show respect. When she wants to make a decision for herself, let her do that. Accept her decisions and never forget to appreciate her efforts.
9. Be humorous
Don’t be angry and serious all the time. Instead, try to have a good sense of humor as it will help you to maintain the happiness in your life. This will also help you to avoid unwanted conflicts.
10. Give adequate time to your family
Sometimes women think you spend too much time out with your friends, at the bar or doing other things besides being at home and caring for your family. Nowadays, men work more and have more demanding careers. All this makes a man’s life tough and he is unable to give time to his family. If you really have a hectic job then use your weekends to spend quality time with your family. Cook for them and play with them in the pool all day. Remember, it is quality time that matters and not quantity of time.
11. Make a list
Make a list of all the past arguments you have had. Sit with her and find out the solutions to all the involved problems. Write down the solutions on a paper. This will help you to remember your duties for a longer time. You can also tell your wife to do the same. Set up a time on which you will share your lists and then listen to each other’s suggestions.
12. Try to find out the usual reasons for your fights
Are your fights always based on big issues such as finance and child rearing or are they about small things such as how you leave a wet towel on the bed? Find out who tends to start the arguments and on which specific topic does the argument take a bad shape. If you think that she always starts the arguments then sit next to a couch and tell her that you don’t feel like fighting after a long day at work.
13. Take help from marriage counselors or marriage experts
This method of ending fights with your wife can be the last resort. This means you have to do the best you can to resolve and avoid any fights in the future. If all your efforts fail, that’s the time to seek an expert’s help!
14. Offer solutions
This final step is skipped by most couples. So, don’t stick around the same problem for years. Instead, come up with the solutions.
1. Remember to remain firm and assertive
Always remember to remain firm and assertive. You do not want your wife to lose respect for you by just thinking that you will agree with her on everything and do whatever she says. You are married because she was attracted to you for being a man! So do not think that you are bound to agree on everything she says just because you are married to her. Take polite efforts to make your wife understand why you don’t agree with her on some issues. If you don’t like something that she says or demands and if you think that you can’t fulfill the same then give her logical reasons to help her understand why her wish can’t be fulfilled.
2. Be sensible and logical
Arguments and fights come out from the burst of emotions. When feelings overcome you, you lose the ability to be logical. This is the reason why most couples argue. They let their emotions to rule them.
3. Take a break and give her some space
If you are having a lot of fights now-a-days then you need to take a moment, calm down and think twice before you say anything to her. Even a minute’s break can help a couple to push the reset button over a fight! This helps you to find out whether you are fighting on a genuine issue or it’s just an argument that’s taking shape of a fight.
4. Show love signals
No matter how upset you are, your love must overcome the anger or frustration. So, give her love signals by saying things like “I love you”, “you are the best part of my life” or by giving her a soft hug. This will help you to stop the fight.
5. Avoid the word ‘but’
Don’t use this word in your arguments as it will not take you to a conclusion but will exaggerate the argument which leads to fight.
6. Accept your mistakes
Admit what you did to get your wife ticked off and express empathy towards her. This can be difficult but extremely successful. Letting go in the heat of arguments seems unreasonable, but it is very effective with couples. Always accept your mistakes!
7. Avoid criticism and sarcasm
Criticism and sarcasm do nothing to end fights. This type of communication makes the partner feel disrespected. Try to voice the problem as a concern and not as a complain or criticism.
8. Show respect
Another important way of avoiding fights is to show respect. When she wants to make a decision for herself, let her do that. Accept her decisions and never forget to appreciate her efforts.
9. Be humorous
Don’t be angry and serious all the time. Instead, try to have a good sense of humor as it will help you to maintain the happiness in your life. This will also help you to avoid unwanted conflicts.
10. Give adequate time to your family
Sometimes women think you spend too much time out with your friends, at the bar or doing other things besides being at home and caring for your family. Nowadays, men work more and have more demanding careers. All this makes a man’s life tough and he is unable to give time to his family. If you really have a hectic job then use your weekends to spend quality time with your family. Cook for them and play with them in the pool all day. Remember, it is quality time that matters and not quantity of time.
11. Make a list
Make a list of all the past arguments you have had. Sit with her and find out the solutions to all the involved problems. Write down the solutions on a paper. This will help you to remember your duties for a longer time. You can also tell your wife to do the same. Set up a time on which you will share your lists and then listen to each other’s suggestions.
12. Try to find out the usual reasons for your fights
Are your fights always based on big issues such as finance and child rearing or are they about small things such as how you leave a wet towel on the bed? Find out who tends to start the arguments and on which specific topic does the argument take a bad shape. If you think that she always starts the arguments then sit next to a couch and tell her that you don’t feel like fighting after a long day at work.
13. Take help from marriage counselors or marriage experts
This method of ending fights with your wife can be the last resort. This means you have to do the best you can to resolve and avoid any fights in the future. If all your efforts fail, that’s the time to seek an expert’s help!
14. Offer solutions
This final step is skipped by most couples. So, don’t stick around the same problem for years. Instead, come up with the solutions.
