Sunday, August 21, 2016

5 Reasons Why You Should Request and Not Demand in a Relationship

man woman lovers shadow sun on wall, Reasons Why You Should Request and Not Demand in a Relationship

Handling relationships is a sensitive affair. Many times in life, we often don’t realize that small personal traits of people can cause big issues in the most important of our relationships. When a person does not change these traits in himself or herself, they start to annoy the other person in the relationship, and sooner or later, the relationship starts to get weak.

One such thing in each relationship is the habit of demanding. It is said that there is a very thin line between demanding and requesting, and those who understand that can often find it easier to manage their relationships well. This thin line is what saves your bond from breaking, and also makes it stronger in the process. Here is why you need to realize that you should request instead of demanding things in your relationship.
1. It makes you both equal
A healthy relationship is about two equal people sharing their lives together. When even one of them turns out to be dominating, and starts demanding things from the other person, it changes the dynamics of the relationship to that of ‘a seeker’ and ‘a giver’. The seeker always demands, and the giver always provides, irrespective of whether she likes it or not. Don’t create this unnecessary hierarchy in your relationship, and always request for things with mutual respect and understanding, so that you both stand as equals.
2. It makes you seem mature
When you demand for things, it means ‘I want this now, anyhow’. But when you request for things, it means ‘It’d be nice if I had this. Can you try to get it?’ In the first case, you seem like a stubborn child, who is impulsive and selfish, and wants things immediately, irrespective of whether the other person can get it or not. However, in the second case, it shows that you are mature enough to listen to a ‘yes’ and a ‘no’ both, depending on the circumstances the other person is in, and whether she can do it or not. So that reflects more maturity and understanding from your side.
3. It prevents fights
Demanding things can create unnecessary fights and arguments, hurting the other person’s ego and sentiments. That does not happen when it comes to requesting. Just like there is a subtle difference between ‘need’ and ‘want’, there is a sweet subtle difference between ‘request’ and ‘demand’, and one must understand that to avoid a situation where the other person loses her temper and things get ugly.

4. The other person can take ownership
When someone fulfills a demand, they may have done that forcibly because they were under pressure to do so, as you left them with no choice. But when you request for things, the other person can take ownership of the request made, and can do the task happily to please you, without any burdens. So in the latter case, the person is actually doing it out of her heart for you, and has no expectations in return, because she has achieved what she wanted – to make you smile! This is a great way of strengthening your bond.
5. It shows value
One of the biggest things about making requests is that it shows you value the other person in some way. It means that you actually think that they are the ones who are capable of doing something for you, and that you wouldn’t trust anyone else with those requests. In demands however, you give out a very selfish vibe, where you just care about the things that will make you happy, and it doesn’t matter who does it for you. In that case, the other person feels that she has no real value in your life, and that she can be easily replaced by anyone else in your life, who would fulfill those demands for you.

So think carefully before you speak, and phrase your words right. Make sure you request for things, understanding the other person’s position, instead of demanding them like a boss. That sorts out quite a lot of relationship problems.

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