Two Principles of Success
When it comes to meeting women, gambling, starting a business, and other worthwhile human activities I’ve boiled down the square root of success to 2 core principles:
Think counter intuitively
Have a big set of balls
If I look at why failure happens, it usually comes back to those 2 things: either a guy didn’t think creatively enough or he didn’t “go big” enough. In a display of sophistication, I often advise guys to, “Go big or go home (and masturbate)”. That, to me, is a pithy encapsulation of what any guy needs to do when he’s presented a worthwhile choice.
Are you going to go big, or are you going to go home to pull your dick?
Crude, I know. Yet, ask yourself, am I right? Isn’t that pretty much the choice you have when you’re interacting with women, gambling, starting a business, and other worthwhile human activities?
The “Woulda, Shoulda, Coulda” Blues
Again, I want emphasize that I attribute most of the failure I’ve experienced and failure I’ve seen to a lack of balls. Most guys talk a big game, but when push comes to shove, they’d much rather “play it safe.”
Naturally, such pussies don’t admit that they’re playing it safe, and instead come up with all sorts of rationalizations for their wimpy behavior, like, “I don’t like to rock the boat too much” or “I like to think things through before I take action.” In fact, I’ll bet that right now somewhere on the interwebz that there’s a Bizarro Rob Judge writing an article that attributes “Playing it safe” to a core success principle.
But you know what: Bizarro Rob Judge is wrong. How do I know that? Cause he doesn’t have a set of balls, and so that’s why you’re reading my article and not his. Anyone who tells you “not to take risks” is actually advising you to take the biggest risk of all. You’re risking the worst failure imaginable, which is waking up one day and realizing your life is almost over and all you have is a spattering of “woulda, shoulda, coulda” excuses.
“Woulda, shoulda, coulda” excuses are like the worthless scratched off lotto tickets you see littered on the street. Those 3 words are the jewels of shit that adorn the loser’s crown. Your entire goal in life should hinge on never uttering a single, “Woulda, shoulda, coulda.”
Take Your Shot
As I so often say in these articles, a guy who’s great with women (and great in life) isn’t the guy who always wins. Instead, it’s the guy who never misses the chance to take his shot. It’s the guy who goes for the girls he wants with confidence. Such a guy doesn’t wait for permission—he gives HIMSELF permission. In essence, that’s all confidence really is: a man who gives himself permission.
That attitude is the exact opposite of what the general populace believes. Most men sit around and wait for others to grant them permission. They never “go big” because no one ever gives them permission to go big. Well, I say fuck that. I’m not giving you permission to do anything—I’m simply laying out the bare facts before your feet to show you that you have a choice whenever you’re faced with a significant life decision.
Zack and I used to sum up this choice by asking, “Are you going to put your nut on the chopping block?” If you think about this very sophisticated and gentlemanly metaphor, you have a clear image of what you’re presented. In a make-or-break moment, the types of moments that can alter the course of your entire life, it’s as if someone unbuckles your belt, drops your pants to your ankles, marches you to a chopping block, and gives you the choice as to whether or not you’re going to place your nuts on it.
Your nuts may get chopped, or they may not. But if you don’t play to win, then you’re not really playing at all. To play to win means to risk a loss. Your nuts may damn well get chopped. And you know what, it’s going to hurt. (Take it from a guy who’s had it happen…metaphorically, of course.)
A girl may reject you as a laughing crowd boos you off as if it were Showtime at the Apollo.
You may try to start a company, only to get lampooned on a major website so that all the people you went to high school with recognize you and gossip about it.
You may throw all your money down on black, and look up to see a roulette ball tumble on red.
You risk epic losses. You risk embarrassment. You risk failure. You risk hurt. You risk pain. You risk it all.
But it’s only in those moments of risk that you also stand to gain it all. Rest assured that if you careen through life without taking a risk, you’re going to be singing the “woulda, shoulda, coulda” blues one day. You may never feel the sting of having your nuts chopped, but you’re also never going to experience true epic success. You’ll never rise above mediocrity.
So the only question left to ask yourself is: when your pants are dropped, and you’re marched to that chopping block, are you going to be man enough to place your nuts on it?