There’s a different approach you must take when it comes to the shy girl. When a girl is shy, it means she has trouble revealing things about herself. It does not necessarily mean that she’s a bitch and it does not necessarily mean she’s not interested in you.
The shy girl may find it difficult doing things that most other girls find easy: flirting with men, approaching men, maintaining eye contact, reading body language, accepting compliments, and initiating a conversation.
The shy girl tends not to play games. She is usually more black and white about their intentions.
The shy girl is usually more traditional. Don’t expect the shy girl to be your booty call or have a one night stand with you.
If you’re wondering dating shy girls, it all comes down to simplifying your game. Forget direct approaches, forget disqualifying, forget role reversals, forget playing hard to get.
Here’s what you need to remember:
Let Her Be
This doesn’t mean you should not try for shy girls, it just means you should adapt your approach. You must recognize that you cannot treat the shy girl the same way that you would treat the attention-seeking girl or the confident girl. You must recognize that for the shy girl, it’s going to take a little more time for you to build comfort with her.
What can you do to adapt build comfort?
Make her laugh
Ask questions to lead the conversation
Focus on the little things to make her feel special
Appreciate her for being different
Show a genuine interest in her
Do Not Neg
A “Neg” is basically a backhanded compliment that is meant to disqualify an attractive woman.
Wow, you have really big ears. But don’t worry, I think they’re cute! Like Mickey Mouse!
Negs are not a good idea to use on the shy girl because you’re at a greater risk of completely destroying her self esteem—and completely destroying your chances with her at the same time. Remember, with the shy girl, you must forget about disqualifying. Disqualification works best when a girl gives you a reason to disqualify her—like when a girl acts like a bitch or when a girl acts like she is too special. The shy girl will rarely, if ever, give you a reason to disqualify her.
Be A Leader
Shy girls presents an interesting challenge in that you must be a leader almost 100% of the time. Shy girls hardly initiate. Shy girls hardly suggest. This means you almost always have to be the leader and initiate the conversation and suggest things to do. To be a good leader with shy girls, you have to be a good observer.
You have to observe her unique characteristics so that you’ll always be able to initiate and suggest. This way, you can initiate conversations and suggest things to do based on what clothes she’s already wearing, what jokes she already finds funny, what music she already listens to, what food she already likes to eat, and what activities she already does for fun. When you initiate conversations and suggest things to do around her interests, you’re much more likely to strike a chord and get her to open up about something she’s not so shy about.
You may be delighted to find that shy girls are every bit as sexual as most other girls, if not more. The shy girl will commonly have years of pent up sexual desire waiting to be unleashed by the guy who has established a deep enough connection with her.
So how do you establish this deep connection?
Well first, as with all other girls, you must gain her trust. After you gain her trust, then you may begin to escalate. Escalating basically lets her know that you’re interested in her. Unlike all other girls though, this escalation process must be done slowly and steadily. It must be taken in baby steps, that only grow as her confidence in you grows. If you escalate too soon, you might scare her off and she might go back to hiding in her shell.
The bottom line with shy girls is this: don’t try to make the shy girl fit your game, instead make your game fit the shy girl. Adapt, adapt, adapt.