If you’re having trouble flirting with women, all you need to remember is that it’s just another form of communication. It’s basically another language that speaks to a woman indirectly. And just like any other language, there are certain fundamentals that you must have a solid grasp of before being able to really use the language to communicate effectively.
Here are the fundamentals of flirting with women:
Smiling is probably the most important fundamental of flirting with women. Flirting is almost impossible without smiling. Imagine flirting with women and having a big frown on your face. It just doesn’t work. Smiling is a gesture that lets her know that you’re warm, approachable, and friendly. So just remember that you can never smile too much.
This is one of the best ways of flirting with women. When you joke around with women, your goal should be to lighten up the mood. Your tearing down her walls and breaking through her defenses so she thinks of you as a positive, fun, non-threatening guy. Joking almost always implies comfort. And not only does this make her more inclined to like you, it also makes her more inclined to be attracted to you. If she only likes you, you might end up as just her friend. If she’s attracted to you, you might end up as her boyfriend.
What are some great ways of joking with women?
Make fun of her mannerisms
If she has a funny laugh, make fun of her laugh
Dodge her questions and give her unbelievable and unlikely answers
If she asks you what you do for a living, tell her you’re a professional “rock-paper-scissors” player
Call her a “weirdo” for anything she does that’s slightly unusual
You want her to be the one seeking validation from you, not the other way around
Look out for anything that you can use as an “inside joke” between the both of you
“Inside jokes” are instant rapport builders. You’re essentially developing a connection from a funny experience that unique to only you and her
Remind her about anything embarrassing that she’s done in the past
You don’t want to make her feel too embarrassed, but you do want to acknowledge that just like everyone else, she makes mistakes too and you’re not putting her on a pedestal like most guys do
Maintaining Eye Contact
Eye contact is essential to flirting. You want sub-communicate to her that you think she’s attractive by maintaining eye contact. There are 2 different methods of maintaining eye contact depending on whether or not you are talking to her:
If you are not talking to her
If you are not talking to her and have just noticed her from across the room, establish eye contact with her and let her catch you looking. Do not shift your eyes from left to right and do not break eye contact for at least 2 seconds. Try your best to maintain eye contact from the corner of your eyes instead of looking straight away. This communicates more sexuality and can develop a more intimate connection with her.
If you are talking to her
If you are talking to her, while talking, you should maintain eye contact with her about 70% of the time. You should only break eye contact here when saying something that may be considered as self serving or bragging. While listening, you should maintain eye contact with her about 90% of the time. You should only break eye contact here when she breaks eye contact first.
Touching can really take your flirting to the next level. Done correctly, touching a woman when you interact with her can sub-communicate sexual tension. However, as with all things, there are both bad ways to touch her and good ways to touch her.
Bad ways to touch her
- You forcefully hold her hand refusing to let it go
- You try to feel her butt or boobs in a very creepy way
- You leave your hand lingering on her for longer than she expects
Good ways to touch her
- Briefly touching her arm or shoulder while making a point
- Slightly pushing her shoulder as you laugh when she cracks a joke
- Smoothly reaching out for her hand to hold in yours as you comment on her nails
- Momentarily placing your hand on her back while walking somewhere with her
- Gently grabbing her shoulders when walking behind her to sort of guide her where to go
When flirting, it is important to remember that you should not overstay your welcome—you should quit while you’re ahead. Most guys fail with flirting because they let it drag on until the flirting becomes dull and unexciting. This is why you must exit first and end your flirting on a high note. If you exit first, you leave her wanting more and you leave her remembering you positively. If you don’t exit first, you risk drowning out all of the other fundamentals of flirting that you used effectively. So don’t let your work go to waste and make sure you’re the first one to say good-bye whenever you’re flirting with women.