If you’re one of those people who freeze up when someone wants to cuddle, it’s time you started learning how to do it the right way and actually enjoy it.
Cuddling is a serious matter. It’s big enough to warrant actual studies on it about how it benefits humankind. Seriously!
Why do you think so many people are making a fuss about it? It’s
because people want it just as much as they do romance, chocolate, and
drugs.
As funny as the name sounds, even after all these years, cuddling is
actually quite good for the body and mind. We’re really not kidding. If
you look at the studies that honest-to-goodness, real live scientists
did on the subject, their findings correlate with how people react to
cuddling.
What does science say about cuddling
According to a study, cuddling releases oxytocin in the brain. This is what scientists call the love hormone, and not surprisingly, the cuddle hormone as well.
It is a powerful hormone that plays a huge role in the human sexual
response cycle, as well as the pair bonding we experience when we find a
suitable mate.
Oxytocin is released when people fall in love or when they’re
aroused. When these two things happen to an individual, the effect is
akin to eating a bar of chocolate and sniffing a line of coke *not the
soda.* The same thing happens when you cuddle, which means that it’s not
just a way for you to chill after watching Netflix.
It’s actually a precursor to how you and your partner will continue
bonding in the future. The more you cuddle, the more you will feel good
about that person.
As long as you continue to promote this type of contact within the
relationship, you will have less trouble with conflicts, and it can also
continuously strengthen the connection that you already have.
Who are the real cuddlers
Since people are so into cuddling, many of us consider it a skill –
an art form even! If you’re wondering which one you are, take a look at
the list below.
#1 The Monkey Cuddler. This person cuddles
everywhere, and I mean everywhere. They try to cuddle with you at the
movies, while waiting for your food, while in a cab – cuddle, cuddle,
cuddle. And that’s not a bad thing. It’s actually my favorite!
#2 The Little Spoon. The little spoon is the person
who will always pull your hand over their body until you snuggle up
behind them. They feel that your big spoon is their security blanket,
and it makes them feel safe, knowing that you have their back.
Here’s a surprising fact: A lot of men like being the little spoon now and again.
#3 The Big Spoon. The big spoon is the one who will
pull you toward them and wrap you in a big bear cuddle from behind.
There’s no better place than the spot that you’re in when your partner’s
the big spoon. Unless you prefer being the big spoon.
#4 The Semi-Cuddler. The semi-cuddler is the one who
usually uses one arm to cuddle with you. It may seem like they don’t
like cuddling at all, but they just want to free their hands to do more
stuff while they cuddle. Efficient? We think so, too!
#5 The Non-Cuddler. Don’t be fooled by the name we
made up. The non-cuddler cuddles just as much as anybody else, except
they don’t really initiate it. They don’t even do anything except allow
themselves to be cuddled. The only thing you need to know is that they
like it, but aren’t keen on admitting it.
#6 The Unintentional Cuddler. The unintentional
cuddler says they don’t like cuddling, but they always end up doing it
anyway. It’s usually obvious when they’re asleep and they wake up
cuddling their partner, or when they watch TV with their partner and
don’t realize that they look like they’re holding on to their partner’s
torso as if it were a lifesaver.
Train yourself to be a better cuddler
There’s no exact science to cuddling – the scientists just wrapped up
on the oxytocin research – but it’s pretty obvious how you’re supposed
to do it.
The issue here is how you can make it better for your partner or
anyone else you’d like to cuddle with. Remember, cuddling is for
everybody – not just for lovers.
#1 Use your instinct. You can’t expect to cuddle
someone anytime you want to. What if you ended up with an unintentional
cuddler? Or a big spoon? Just wait for the right moment. If you’re not
sure when it’s okay to cuddle, you can always ask your partner.
#2 Just go for it. If you don’t feel like asking
your partner, you can just start by putting your arm over their shoulder
or around their waist. If they don’t mind it, you can then proceed to
cuddle any which way you like.
#3 Don’t crowd them. Do remember that your partner
is not a scratching post or a beanbag. You should not overwhelm them
with all your limbs, unless prompted – see monkey cuddler. An arm around
them is good enough, and you can always get closer as you get more
comfortable.
#4 Know which type of cuddling to use. There are different types of cuddling for various occasions and locations. These are as follows:
a. The Arm Cuddle. You can do this anywhere and
anytime. Just put your arm over your partner’s shoulder or around their
waist. Pull them closer, et voila! A cuddle.
b. The Hug Cuddle. This is when you hug a person and
end up in that position for a bit longer than necessary. Perfect when
you’re just lying on the bed and want a little bit of contact from your
loved one.
c. The Full-Body Cuddle. The monkey cuddler’s
favorite. The full-body cuddle is when you use all your limbs, including
your legs, to cuddle with your partner. This can’t last very long
because you are in danger of asphyxiation and certain fractures. But it
can work if a monkey cuddler is partnered with a non-cuddler.
d. The Little Spoon Cuddle. This is when the little
spoon scoots back toward the big spoon in order to initiate the start of
the cuddling session. This is how sneaky little spoons get their
partners to cuddle them without any prompting.
e. The Lap Cuddle. The lap cuddle is when one of you
is sitting down on the couch. Either one of you can do all the cuddling
while the other sits on the couch or on the other’s lap. This is
perfect for watching movies or when you’re on a road trip. Make sure
that someone else is driving, though.
f. The Thigh Cuddle. The thigh cuddle is when you
cuddle with your partner’s thigh instead of their whole body. This
usually happens when you’re lying down on your partner’s lap, or if
they’re reading on the couch, and you’re just lounging around on the rug
beside them.
g. The Waist Cuddle. The waist cuddle is a higher
variation of the lap cuddle. Just as efficient, but with more surface
area to cuddle, especially if your partner has a beer belly.
h. The Back Cuddle. The back cuddle happens when
your partner is standing and you decide to cuddle them from behind. This
is perfect if you’re taller than your partner, but a bit of a stretch
if you can’t reach their shoulders in order to actually do it. It can
easily be done while you’re waiting in line for something.
#5 Know when to stop cuddling. Like the liquor
bottle warnings, the same goes for cuddling. Cuddle moderately, because
it’s not something that you can do for hours on end. It’s hardly
possible when you’re sleeping as well, because our bodies are programmed
to right themselves when placed in an uncomfortable position.
Even if it feels really awesome, you have to let go at some point.
Let your partner eat and stretch out their muscles. After that, you may
resume your cuddling.
Try these tips and see if you can maximize your cuddling
capacity. Remember, the goal is to make your cuddle game on point. And
with these tips, you’ll be a pro cuddler in no time.
