It’s understandable that some people might question whether or not they really are in love especially if they’ve never known what love feels like.
There are no specific criteria for when or how you fall in love with
someone. In terms of feeling it, there’s also no way to gauge if it’s
real or not. Falling in love can be misconstrued as infatuation, because
the two emotions go hand in hand. What people really want to know is
whether or not it’s stopped being infatuation and finally turned into
love.
How do you know if it’s love?
The only way to know if you really are in love is when you start to
believe it without a shadow of a doubt. No matter how many signs there
are, you cannot guarantee whether or not it’s really love, but you can
get a pretty good idea one way or the other if you know what to look
for.
If you really are in love, you stop thinking about why you shouldn’t
be in love. If it’s too early, you may feel that it’s not yet true. If
you’re too guarded, you may decide that you don’t want to open your
heart yet. With these kinds of limitations, it’s easy to tell yourself
you’re not in love.
But what happens when you finally want to know whether or not you
really are in love? Is there a signal? Is there a specific ritual that
needs to be done to find out? Not really. All you have to do is ask
yourself what you truly feel deep down.
If your gut feeling is that you’re not in love with someone, chances
are you aren’t. If, however, you seem to feel some sort of warm and
tingling sensation whenever you think about that person, maybe it’s time
to delve more deeply into your emotions.
For the purpose of helping you out, we’ve listed some of the most
common feelings that are related to being in love. These are not limited
to romantic love, but if these are all present, it’s highly likely that
you’re starting to go beyond infatuation and into true love’s
territory.
What you feel when you’re thinking about the person you love:
#1 Giddiness. Mind you, this is the same type of
giddiness you feel the first time they hold your hand. When you’re in
love, however, it starts to become a normal part of your day. With or
without your partner, the giddiness seems to never go away.
#2 An unsolicited need to smile. Sometimes, it happens even before you think about the person you love.
#3 Craving their presence, not their attention. The
difference between wanting someone’s attention and wanting their
presence is the understanding that a person can’t be there all the time.
Oh, yes, sometimes it’s cute when you send an innocuous “whatchadoin”
text, but it’s also okay just to know that your partner will reply
whenever they can.
#4 Worrying in their absence. The world is a scary
place, so it’s understandable that you might start to think your partner
died because they didn’t text for 24 hours. Still, even when they do
send regular updates, you can’t help but hope and pray that they will be
all right throughout the day.
#5 Feeling the need to make them happy. Wanting
someone else’s happiness is okay, but only if it’s not to the detriment
of your own. Rather than being selfless, you’re simply feeling more
generous about what you can give to your partner in order to make them
happy. A shoulder to cry on, a hug for posterity, or a kiss for good
luck—any little thing will do so long as you get that smile you’ve been
wanting to see on your loved one’s face.
What you feel when you’re going about your day:
#6 Unexplainable happiness. There’s a kick to your
step and a spark in your eyes. No, it’s not an after-sex glow. It’s a
constant feeling of happiness that exists because you are giving away
love.
#7 A need to share the love with others. You don’t
want to be happy on your own anymore. You want everyone to be happy. You
start becoming a matchmaker—a charity dispenser—and you might even
agree to become the designated driver for your friends who want to drink
their troubles away.
#8 Feeling like everything will always fall into place. Being
in love makes you realize that things happen in their own time. Now
that you feel an immense satisfaction in your relationship, you start to
see that it is also possible to have this type of happiness in
everything else in your life.
#9 Excitement about seeing the one you love. Not
being with them can be painful, but it can also give you immense
satisfaction and joy. The beauty of anticipating the presence of your
loved one is that you feel exponentially happier when you finally get to
see them in person.
#10 A quiet acceptance that they will always be there. No
matter where you are in the world, being in love gives you a sense of
security that your partner will always be there, no matter what. Even
when you have minor arguments or even big fights, you know in the back
of your mind that you and your partner will always be there for each
other in the end.
What you feel about yourself:
#11 You feel like the most beautiful person in the world. When
you are in love, almost all of your negative feelings towards yourself
will gradually disappear. That’s because it feels better to love and be
loved for who you are rather than seeking love through someone else’s
approval.
#12 You start to love your flaws. Your flaws will
hardly disappear, even if you do love yourself, but they start to lose
their hold on you. That overlapping bit of skin over your jeans and that
three-year-old acne scar are not relevant anymore. By loving someone
else, you have learned to love yourself as well, flaws and all.
#13 You feel stronger. Experiencing a positive
feeling like love gives people strength. It gives you the strength to
push harder in life, to be better, and to be more compassionate. The
strength you gain from love is reflected in the strength you show in
other aspects of your life as well.
#14 You feel more fragile at the same time. Although
you have become stronger, your heart is now more delicate than ever.
Being in love means that the possibility of heartbreak is more real and
painful.
#15 You start to feel responsible for another human being’s heart. Now
that you’re in love, you feel that you also have a responsibility to
make someone else happy. By letting yourself love, you have also signed
up to take care of that person’s well-being and emotions in any way you
can.
Whether you’re in a new or a long-term relationship, it’s
often common to question at some point or another whether or not it’s
the real deal. To be sure, compare your own feelings with our checklist
above!
