All of us nag our partners now and then without ever realizing it. Want to know how to stop nagging your partner, knowingly or unknowingly? Here are six ways to ensure that you stop nagging your partner in no time.
Click here to read the introduction to understand the real meaning of nagging and how it starts in the first place.
How to stop nagging
The most annoying and painful thing about nagging is that we never
really understand or realize that we’re nagging unless it’s pointed out
to us.
And at times, even that won’t make us understand that we’re nagging and we never really try to find ways on how to stop nagging.
But if your partner ever calls you a nag, don’t get huffy and start
sulking. Instead, ask yourself if it’s true. And use these pointers to
stop nagging and experience a better relationship with your lover.
#1 Understand your partner
Seek to understand your partner.
When two people come together, it could either be a collision or
integration of two worlds with two different sets of parental
influences, mind-sets, life experiences, values, prejudices et al, not
to mention the several layers there is to a person.
Your sweetheart is unique and one of a kind. Explore the magic of his or her being.
Comparisons are a huge deterrent to the progression of your
relationship and it is prudent to never compare. If you want to know how
to stop nagging, first stop comparing.
Appreciate and accept your partner wholeheartedly. Additionally,
trying to look at the issue at hand from your partner’s point of view
will help immensely.
Once you learn to empathize, you can really understand. Once you
learn to accept a different perspective (that of your loved one), then
you can get some perspective to your vehement emotions. If you begin to
accuse, then your partner will begin to defend and you are back to
square one, or sometimes even out of the game.
#2 Introspect and learn
The values of introspection are many and varied, not just to a person
who nags but to every one of us. Introspection can help you take a good
critical look at yourself and help you understand why and how to stop
nagging.
And once you’ve identified your real motives and face up to it,
you’re well on your way to quit being a nag. You can teach yourself to
stop by taking small steps. First, by pinpointing flaws in yourself and
remedying them, setting a good example and also prioritizing your own
needs and demands.
Scale down your nagging on trivial issues to deal with much more
vital ones. Spend time analyzing and examining situations that worked in
the past and try to replicate them.
#3 Communicate with your partner
When the same thing is said over and over again, your partner is
bound to switch off and you end up sounding like a broken record. On the
other hand, sometimes partners are incapable of stating what they want
directly and end up nagging or whining, which pushes away the respective
spouse.
Effective communication and active listening are skills that will
help your marriage grow stronger. You should be able to hear your
partner, not just verbally, but at a much more profound level. Also try
using polite phrases, “would you” or “could you,” instead of combative
or domineering expressions.
Avoid being condemning and critical. If you are too busy defending
yourself, you cannot move forward together. Life becomes one big battle
as you teeter from one skirmish to another. Instead, pick opportune
moments to calmly explain how you feel or to voice your stance with
respect to a particular issue. If you want to know how to stop nagging,
learn to rationalize the problem, and that will bring you quicker to an
amicable solution than emotionalizing it.
#4 Positive feedback and motivation
Motivation when done right will go a long way in helping you realize
your mutual objectives. You can also motivate your partner by setting a
good example yourself by healthy living, replacing things, etc. and by
being cheerful.
Never undervalue the strength of positive encouraging feedback.
Sometimes, the issue you are nagging about might be particularly
difficult to tackle, like giving up smoking for instance, but nothing is
impossible if you attempt it together. Discuss workable ideas together.
Providing adequate incentives will also help. Rather than forcing your
mate to do something you want done, approach the issue inside out, make
your partner want to do it. Not as easy or as simple as it sounds, of
course, but it is the only way to do it and is definitely worth it.
#5 Be positive
Having a positive attitude instead of a negative or defeatist
attitude will inspire your mate to achieve more. Separate the nagging
issue from the person and focus on resolving it. Maintaining an
atmosphere of happiness is better for you and your mate in the long run.
#6 Compromise in love
Finally, compromise, the last word in every relationship or as a
Gumpism succinctly puts it, “Don’t sweat the small stuff.” Reduce
anxiety and stress levels by learning to adjust and accept differences
‘cos verily variety is the spice of life. Live life with your chosen
mate in harmony and understanding.
If you think you may be a nagger and want to know how to stop
nagging, try to understand these tips and work on your relationship. And
if you think your partner nags you, well, have a frank discussion with
them and let your lover know that sweet talk sounds a lot better than
angry nagging.
It could be you or your partner who needs to know how to stop
nagging, but at the end of the day, as long as both of you understand
how to avoid nagging in love, you’ll see how beautiful love and life can
really be.
