Your partner may be flawed, but are you truly perfect? Read these 15 rules to know if you’re a good partner before you point out your partner’s flaws.
It’s easy to focus on what your partner is doing wrong, to get
annoyed and frustrated by it, but have you ever stopped to think that
maybe you aren’t doing everything right either?
It’s easy to see flaws in others but is it as easy to see flaws in
ourselves? How do you know whether or not you are being a good partner?
15 rules you need to follow to be a good partner
If you truly want to be a good boyfriend/girlfriend or a good
husband/wife, ask yourself if you follow these 12 rules yourself.
Sometimes, in your determination to pick the flaws of your partner, you
may be overlooking a few glaring imperfections in yourself!
Rule #1 You have a right to be angry but you don’t have the right to be cruel
If you want to be a good partner, then this is a really important one
to remember. Everyone has a right to be angry, sometimes it can’t be
helped, however it’s the way you deal with that anger that determines
whether or not you are being fair.
It’s okay to tell your partner if they have done something to upset
you, it’s not okay to insult them for it, to bring up the past or to
throw things in their face. If you do this, then you won’t solve the
issue that made you angry in the first place, you will just escalate the
conversation into an argument. The likelihood is that your partner
won’t have meant to upset you, so deliberately hurting them or insulting
them is out of line, no matter how justified you feel at the time.
Rule #2 Sometimes when you’re right, you still need to back down, for the sake of peace
It’s easy to get carried away in an argument, especially if you’re
right. What isn’t easy is backing down. Sometimes, it just doesn’t
matter who is right and who is wrong, the only thing that matters is
ending the argument. Don’t let your pride rule you, you need to know
when it’s okay to back down and make peace.
Rule #3 Accepting that people change will stop you from having to make a change
People change all the time, everything that happens to a person
changes them in some way. Sometimes, it’s unnoticeable and sometimes, it
smacks you right across the face. Accepting the fact that people change
and going with it, will stop you from finding yourself with a stranger.
If you can’t accept the changes that come from life, then sooner or
later, you will find yourself needing to make a big change to get away
from it.
Rule #4 No one is perfect and that includes you
It’s easy to say that you wouldn’t have done something, you wouldn’t
have acted in that way or you wouldn’t have said what they said. It’s
easy to judge other people from afar and criticize their choices, but
you need to remember that you make bad choices sometimes too.
You are not perfect and you do things wrong, just like everybody
else. And do you have anyone on your back about that? It’s unfair to
expect anyone to be perfect all of the time and it’s even more unfair to
make them feel bad about it.
Rule #5 Your partner’s friends were supporting them, long before you were
It’s really important that you try to get on with your partner’s
friends. They were there long before you and have supported your partner
through difficult times, and that means that they care. You don’t even
have to like them, you just need to get on with them for your partner’s
sake.
You don’t want to be that person who asks their partner to choose
between you and their friends or family, because either way, you won’t
like the result. Your partner will either pick their friends/family or
they will resent you for making them choose.
Rule #6 You don’t have to be selfless but you do have to care
You shouldn’t have to be selfless in a relationship, but you do have
to care about your partner. It’s not a case of putting them first every
time because you deserve to be put first sometimes too. It’s knowing
when you should put them first. Knowing when it really matters will make
the most difference to them because it shows that you care about them
and in a way, it does make you selfless.
Rule #7 Never expect anything from your partner
One thing that many partners do wrong is when they expect things from
their partner, like somehow it’s solely their partner’s responsibility
to pay the bills or to bring a little romance into the relationship.
It’s unfair and it’s setting your partner up to fail.
A partnership is between two people and it should be both of their
responsibilities to bring aspects to the relationship. This shouldn’t be
expected though, it should be done without question. To expect
something, is just as bad as demanding it, because when you don’t get
it, you will be left looking like a spoilt child throwing a tantrum.
Rule #8 Be supportive in the good times and the bad times
It’s easy to support your partner through the good times, like work
promotions and goal achievements, it isn’t always as easy to support
them through the bad times though. Yet these are the times that they
will really rely on your support, so you need to give it to them.
It doesn’t matter if you are disappointed, the likelihood is that
they will be ten times more disappointed than you. So just be supportive
and help them through, don’t kick them while they are down because they
might not get back up again.
Rule #9 Never go the day without at least a kiss
It’s so important in relationships, especially long term
relationships to keep up physical intimacy. Sometimes, it can be easy to
take your partner for granted and to forget why they are in your life,
so always try to remind yourself of that. Keeping intimacy in your
relationship will stop you both from getting bored or wondering if the
relationship has run its course.
Rule #10 If you want romance, bring it to the table
Don’t moan about the fact that your relationship is lacking romance,
do something about it. You never know, your partner might respond by
doing something romantic in return. If you really want something, then
you should go out there and get it, you shouldn’t just wait around
dropping hints. That will only get you frustrated if they don’t work.
Rule #11 Sometimes, the only thing left to do is walk away
Sometimes, in a relationship the only thing that is left to do, is to
walk away. It doesn’t mean that it has to be permanent, it doesn’t even
mean that you have to leave the building but if a fight is escalating
and neither of you have anything nice to say, walk away. Give yourselves
some breathing time, cool down and then try again. Nothing has ever
been solved by screaming at each other.
Rule #12 It’s your job to cheer them up
It doesn’t matter if you have had the day from hell. If your partner
has had it worse, then it’s your job to cheer them up. That’s what a
good partner does, they put their lover before themselves when they know
it needs to be done. Even if you have to try and find a clown at ten
o’clock at night, you need to find a way to pick your partner up when
they are down.
Rule #13 It doesn’t matter how busy you are, you should always make time
Life can sometimes feel like it’s flying by at a hundred miles an
hour, but that doesn’t give you an excuse to put your partner at the
bottom of your priority list. Again, it can be easy to take them for
granted, knowing that they will wait around for you, but that doesn’t
mean that it’s fair to make them wait. You should always try to put your
partner up at the top of the list, if you can’t, then maybe you
shouldn’t be in a relationship.
Rule #14 Always be faithful, always be loyal
You cannot be a good partner if you cheat and lie your way through
the relationship. It doesn’t matter why you lied or why you cheated. You
could have the best excuse in the world for it, but it doesn’t make it
right. If you are in a relationship then be in that relationship.
#15 Passion fades, but you need to look for ways to keep it alive
It doesn’t matter how passionate you are at the beginning of a
relationship, it will eventually fade with time if you take your
relationship for granted. The important thing is to find new ways to
keep the excitement alive in the relationship, even if it means going
out of your way to excite your partner now and then.
If you are in a relationship then you should always try to be the
best partner you can be. The other person doesn’t deserve any less than
your best, just like you don’t deserve any less than theirs.
So just how good a partner are you? So the next time you find
yourself grumbling or whining about how unappreciative or boring your
partner is, ask yourself if you’ve been playing your part in a happy
romance.
