Are you addicted to Facebook, or have a chronic over-sharing problem? These seemingly innocent habits could have drastic effects on your relationship! By Minot Pettinato-Little
Social media is great for a number of things: staying in touch with
friends and family, sharing photos and videos, and keeping abreast of
the goings on of local businesses. However, it can also be a real pain
in the butt: gossip galore, drunken posted pictures, and loosely known
acquaintances journaling in their status updates about their life
problems, and detailing what recipes they made for dinner.
Sharing life achievements? Great. Shameless link-spamming in status updates? Ugh. All this connecting can really get tiresome.
So what does it do for relationships? Not a lot of good, frankly. You
may think you have to be obsessed with your online persona to
experience troubles from the Internet, but sometimes the trouble isn’t
you at all, it’s other users.
Social media habits that are ruining relationships
There are actually a number of things that make Twitter, Facebook,
Instagram and other social media sites a bane to the modern
relationship.
#1 Oversharing. While you may think it’s okay to
tell the world via Twitter or Facebook that you’ve just had the most
outrageous fight with your boyfriend, he may not think it’s so cool to
be so connected. If you’re the type to overshare, you may be alienating
your mate by being the one who shares every tiny detail of what’s going
on in your lives.
In reality, oversharing fights through social media is not only both
childish and disrespectful, it’s also rude. You both have your mates,
friends and family on your friends list somewhere, and do they need to
hear about how you think their loved one is being a major douchebag?
But what if you’re sharing good things? Believe it or not, a lot of
people still value their privacy. For example, did you get engaged and
now you want to tell the world? Think twice before shouting it out on
Twitter, before he even got the chance to tell his own mother! Just
remember whether it’s good or bad news, there is such a thing as sharing
too much.
#2 You never stop networking. Are you obsessed with
social networking? Are you consistently checking your Instagram,
YouTube, Texts and Twitter via your cell phone? There’s nothing more
annoying than trying to have a conversation with your romantic partner,
while they’re checking their phone for the latest updates.
By consistently responding to texts and other forms of media, you’re
essentially saying your partner’s company isn’t interesting enough to
hold your attention. Not very loving, is it?
#3 Friends list drama. The friend lists can be one
of the biggest stress factors in a relationship, whether it’s new or
long-term. Imagine your girlfriend is friends with 200 guys, most of
which leave sexual or flirtatious comments on her newest pictures. Not
exactly the most secure feeling ever. Or what if your boyfriend is
friends with a girl you absolutely hate or worse: his ex.
Not only do you have to worry about social connections, you also have
to worry about incoming friends requests from random people who have
ulterior motives.
#4 The jealousy factor. If you find your mate
chatting with members of the opposite sex via social media on a regular
basis, you may have reason to worry. This worry can lead to paranoia,
jealousy, snooping, and fights. Snooping into your mate’s social media
account or their friends’ pages can be one of the most terrifying
experiences for a couple. What if you find flirtatious messages, sexy
photos, or incriminating evidence of their whereabouts on another
friend’s wall?
What’s even worse is when you find nothing at all, and realize that you’re being suspicious over absolutely nothing.
#5 It makes you narcissistic. Facetime and Skype are
just new ways we look at our own reflections, isn’t it? How many people
choose for their chatting partner to have the bigger Skype window? Not
to mention, those with huge followings over social media may start to
let their “likes” go to their head. The attitude that you are
all-important and ultra-popular can make your partner see just how
self-involved you are.
#6 The invitation to flirt. Using social media is
like having a formal invitation to flirt. It’s as simple as using too
many emoticons or carrying on too long with someone commenting on your
picture. Maybe you view these interactions as innocent, but the random
guy who was searching the hashtag #Blonde and happened to come upon your
hot photo? Yeah, he doesn’t care how innocently you meant your
winky-face to come off, nor does he limit himself to his interactions
with you, just because you have a boyfriend or a husband.
People online don’t care what your relationship status is because
they don’t have to. After all, they don’t know you. Therefore they make
that invitation to flirt seem all the more innocent. Always think about
your spouse when you have these interactions online. If you reversed the
situation and stumbled upon a chat between your boyfriend and a girl
who was flirting with him via an Instagram photo, how would you feel?
#7 “The Ex Effect.” Yes, your ex existed and your
new beau will just have to get over that fact. But does he or she need
to see tagged pictures of your ex slammed all over his newsfeed?
The fact is that many people stay friends with their ex via social
media, and it’s usually an invitation to disaster. One night of
reminiscing via Facebook may lead to video Skyping, which could lead to
coffee and before you know it, you’ve completely reconnected with a
person whom you were supposed to leave in the past.
Even if this hasn’t actively happened, the threat will always be
there, no matter how long it has been. In most cases, you need to
remember that this person is your ex for a reason. The past should stay
in your past, especially if you are trying to move on with your future.
#8 Cheating. This is the big one, the full Monty of
social media woes: Cheating, and its unfortunate ties to social media.
Think about it: If you’re a man and you see a hot girl walking down the
street, you see her once. No harm done.
But via social media? You can stalk her photos and keep her in your
mind and your consciousness from the comfort of your tablet screen. Is
that the image you want to have of your mate as they’re browsing through
their feed over their phone? Sure, this may imply a complete lack of
trust in your partner, but the sad truth is that expansion of the
Internet has made it all too easy for people to cheat and get away with
it.
There is already way too much drama spent on social media
without getting your romantic relationship involved. Play it smart, and
keep social media in its proper place!
