Long term love is one of life’s greatest gifts, but if not nurtured, it can be a dreary curse. With old love comes comfort, and with that, monotony.
No matter their race, religion, shape, size, or age, long term
couples the world over suffer from the same problem, and that is
monotony. Perhaps this is why divorce rates are skyrocketing, and more
people are justifying their actions and blaming “irreconcilable
differences” for this.
I will not pretend to know why couples break up. Every story is
different, and everybody is entitled to their own reasons for leaving.
However, there is no denying that boredom and the irrepressible weight
of tedium have a part to play in some relationships falling apart.
The whole point of being in love and dedicating your life to someone
is being under the impression that you will spend a lifetime of
laughter, joy, love, and companionship together. What happens when you
wake up one morning and realize that your ideals were replaced by
endless continuity, repetition, and mind-numbing monotony? This is the
point when you start getting resentful, bored, angry, and ready to pack
up and leave.
What many couples do not realize is that monotony in a relationship
can be easily fixed if both parties set their minds to making a change.
Just like everything else, it takes effort and hard work if you want it
to succeed.
If you can put in those extra hours at the office for that promotion,
you can certainly make the time to fight for your relationship. There
is no such thing as “falling out of love,” but there is such a thing as
“falling out of fun.”
How to enjoy being in a relationship
So if you are at this stage in life, wait no longer to make a
difference in both your lives. Here are 8 suggestions that you can take
on to get the monotony out of your relationship.
#1 Travel together. Want to feel inspired again, not
just in your relationship, but in life? Then travel. There is no better
way to get the monotony out of your relationship than by traveling with
your partner.
When you up and leave the cozy confines of everyday life, you end up
doing things that you never thought you would. You end up seeing things
that are extraordinarily new. You will taste, feel, and hear so much
more than what ordinary life can offer.
Pick a place, and figure out the logistics on how to get there. Do
not make excuses, do not procrastinate, and just do it. Remember that
nothing can trample all over monotony the way traveling can.
#2 Indulge in sexual surprises. Many couples fall
into the trap of routine love making. Whether it is getting it on only
on weekends, doing the deed before 10pm every night, or simply doing it
for the sake of doing it, it is a terrifying thought indeed, once you
come to the realization that your once fiery sex drive has fizzled into a
pathetically slow-burning candle, and all that’s left is boredom.
Spice it up by tussling up the routine. Do it in the morning, in the
shower, in the park, or in the car. Let your sex drive take over, cater
to its whims and fancies, and realize that there’s no proper place or
time to get it on. Surprise your partner at the office for a
mind-blowing blow job, or fan the flames of passion by introducing toys,
costumes, and gadgets into the bedroom.
#3 Do something new every week. Another way to rid
your relationship of monotony is to challenge yourselves to do something
new as a couple every week. It could be renting a scooter and going for
a spin around the countryside. It could be watching a play. It could be
getting some friends together for a Twister night of fun.
No matter what you end up doing, make sure that it is something new,
and that your partner is 100% involved. The more challenging the task,
the better.
#4 Attempt a project together. You can also kick
monotony to the curb by signing up for a course or taking on a project
together. It doesn’t have to be something huge like building a homeless
shelter, but go right ahead, and delve into it if that excites you.
It could be something simple like signing up for a Thai cooking class
or learning to salsa dance together. No matter what, the experience of
starting something new and reaching an end goal together will be sure to
keep things fresh and exciting.
#5 Welcome new life into your old one. Perhaps the
reason why things seem so monotonous is because the two of you simply
aren’t enough. Have you thought about welcoming a third party into your
life? I don’t mean it in a sexual way *but go for it if you’re keen*.
I’m talking about welcoming a pet or even a child into your lives.
Remember not to do this to save your relationship because it won’t
help one bit. Do it only if both of you feel that being a team of two
simply isn’t enough. Whether you decide to welcome a child into the
world, adopt a pet, or grow orchids, it is truly a wonderful thing when
you decide to share the love, grow your family, and build a life
together.
#6 Make new friends. A great way to keep your
relationship from becoming boring is to make new friends together. The
thing about friendships is that, although they tend to never die, they
get repetitive, just like relationships.
Even when you head out for a fun night together, you tend to do the
same things, visit the same bars, order the same drinks, and go to the
same restaurants. Shake it up a little, and make new friends. They will
introduce you to a whole other world of refreshing change. From new
conversations to new restaurant and watering hole recommendations, do
not be shy to forge new friendships.
#7 Revamp your space. Don’t blame your relationship
for being a monotonous one. Take a look at your life, and see what else
is dreary. Is your job dull? Tired of staring at the same four walls at
home? Sick of the routine, day in and day out? Well, one way to combat
this is to change your environment.
I know that it’s hard, if not impossible, to quit your job without
securing other prospects. It is also hard to just up and move with your
partner to another city, or country, for that matter. Figure out what
you can change in your everyday life, and start there.
An idea is to revamp your shared space. Be it redecorating, moving
furniture around, or undertaking a wall-painting project, make the
effort to do something together, and be sure that it will change the way
you two approach everyday life. A home refurbishment project is not
only fun, but it will be sure to get you working together to make a
positive change in your immediate environment.
#8 Take time off. You want to know the best way to
break free from a monotonous relationship? Well, all you need to do is
grow a pair, and leave your job. Either request for a sabbatical, ask
for unpaid leave, choose to work remotely, or quit altogether if you
have the financial stability to do so.
Nothing is more important in life than spending time with the person
you love. Life is too short to be spent cooped up in an office, pleasing
someone else. Think of how amazing it would be for the two of you to go
live in Thailand for a month at a fraction of what it would cost you to
survive at home.
This is certainly not an easy decision to make, and many of you will
never do it. Responsibilities and real life will make you stop in your
tracks. Realistically, this is not something that you can do on an
impulse, so how about setting this as your long term goal? You and your
sweetheart can set a timeline, say a year, and make it all happen then.
At least now, you have a realistic end goal to work towards together.
Everything from preparing your finances, subletting the apartment,
and dealing with all the other nitty-gritty details of life can
certainly be taken care of in a year, so you have no excuses not to
think hard, and go ahead with it.
At the end of the day, the problem isn’t the relationship, but the
way you approach it. Always remember that being with someone and keeping
it fresh takes work. You looking good and raking in the money is not
enough. You have to dedicate the time and passion to keeping a
relationship alive and well.
Once you realize that getting rid of monotony means injecting
fun times and great conversations into your relationship, you will
realize that it was never that hard to deal with in the first place.
