Although the “define the relationship” talk is one couples dread, there are worse conversations. Here are 10 awkward relationship conversations.
An awkward conversation consists of lots of fidgeting, sweating,
hemming, and hawing. Some can breeze through it with nary a scratch, but
most of us end up traumatized by the sheer anxiety alone.
It’s like the annoying relative that you need to entertain during
family functions, even though you can’t stand them. You just have to
wait it out until you can get some air.
Why awkward relationship conversations are necessary
Typically, awkward conversations are awkward because there is a
stigma of sorts involved in the topic to be discussed. If the two people
discussing it were open-minded individuals, it wouldn’t be an issue at
all.
Unfortunately, there are still some things that feel too sensitive to
discuss. As much as you’d like to be open-minded about these things,
you still need to consider how the other person feels about addressing
them.
Once you’re done, however, you can breathe a sigh of relief, because
you finally cleared the air with your partner. Even if you don’t get the
reaction you wanted, there’s something to be said about actually
dealing with an issue, rather than just sweeping it under the rug.
What are the most common awkward conversations between partners?
#1 The STD talk. Let’s get right down to the heavy
stuff and admit that this is probably the most awkward and disconcerting
topic of all. Not many are keen to admit to how many partners they’ve
had—especially if the number is a cause for concern. Most couples stick
to their conviction that it’s highly unlikely that they have an STD. No
symptoms, no dice.
But that’s where things can go horribly wrong. A lot of STDs have
long incubation periods—like HIV—and some are even asymptomatic, like
Chlamydia in its early stages. For some, being asked to get tested can
be as bad as being asked to strip naked in public. It all depends on how
seriously they take their partner’s concern.
#2 The possibility of marriage. The discussion about when
to get married should never be an awkward conversation. It’s going to
be the happiest day of your lives yet, for crying out loud. The possibility of getting married, however, is a different story. Not all couples in serious relationships are open to the idea of marriage.
If you and your partner have never discussed it before, the time to
finally do it can be extremely harrowing, especially if you have no idea
how they’ll react. Many a relationship has faltered due to slight
hesitation at the word marriage. You better be prepared for every
eventuality, because you might not get the answers you want.
#3 Getting caught in a lie. A lie is one of the most
damaging sins in a relationship. Once you get caught, especially when
lying about serious stuff, you’ve effectively proven that you are
untrustworthy. After that, doubt sets in. What else have you lied about?
Is the relationship also a lie?
When you’re given a chance to explain yourself, it’s going to be very
emotional. The awkwardness, however, comes with the task of admitting
that you screwed up. You have to explain why you lied and how you’re
going to fix the problem. There might also be some begging involved.
#4 Asking for something you know they won’t agree to. Nothing
is more awkward than asking to be said no to. You know there’s a slim
chance your partner will say yes, but you still have to ask because you
won’t get any sleep if you don’t.
The problem is that these types of conversations are set up to fail.
Why? Because you know your partner well enough to have an idea of how
they’ll react. Still, if it’s something really important, like buying a
dog or a sports car, you need to check with them.
#5 Discussing a friend who is getting a little too close. One
of the hardest things you can tell your partner is that someone close
to them betrayed you—other than you, that is. They have a different sort
of trust in the people in their lives who came before you, so it’s
going to be hard for them to believe that someone close to them tried to
hit on you.
Apart from that, they have to deal with it. They can’t just sweep it
under the rug, and they need to come to terms with the idea that they
might lose someone important to them because of it. It’s not just an
awkward conversation. It’s going to be heartbreaking, as well.
#6 Telling them when family members become too meddlesome. Another
issue is when family members get too close. Some families think it’s
okay to put their two cents in—or even the whole family fortune—when a
couple is experiencing problems. Even when everything’s fine, some
family members still have an opinion of how you can *and should* improve
your relationship.
That can be disheartening, knowing there’s a possibility that they
will become your family one day, as well. When the issue is grave, it
can create a problem that might isolate you and your partner from their
family.
#7 Explaining something you forgot to tell your partner about. When
your friend starts telling you and your partner a story about something
that you casually forgot to mention—like dating a certain someone in
the past, or having done a boatload of ecstasy in college—how do you
think your partner will react to this little tidbit?
We doubt they’d be happy about it, but some people are more tolerant
than others. The problem is how you’re going to tell your version of the
story, and whether or not you’re going to stick to it.
#8 Accidentally getting pregnant. Getting pregnant
is considered a blessing by many, but the initial reaction for some can
be quite nerve-wracking. Having kids is a big deal, and most couples
aren’t prepared for that kind of responsibility. When you take every
precaution and still get pregnant, it’s another story.
Telling your partner about it is necessary, but it can also be scary.
Neither of you expected this to happen so soon, so it’s hard to say how
either of you will react. Aside from that, you’re stuck wondering if
you forgot to take a pill or let your handy box of condoms expire.
#9 Talking about your exes. Oh, the dreaded ex talk.
It’s not necessary to talk about every person you’ve dated, but your
partner will want to know about the ones who mattered to you. Aside from
that, you’re probably wondering about their exes, as well.
At the beginning of a relationship, it’s not necessary to rehash the
past, because it’s not significant to this stage. It’s all about you two
and how you work as a couple. When the time comes, you’ll have to talk
about sensitive things like this. If you don’t, you’ll end up having a
very awkward conversation that could have been avoided in the first
place.
#10 Having to break up. Why does breaking up have to
be awkward? It’s necessary for some people, isn’t it? But it can still
be awkward when one of you isn’t expecting it. Obviously, there’s
trouble in paradise. If one of you refuses to acknowledge that, any
conversation from there on out will be particularly awkward, since you
have no intention of staying in the relationship.
If you do get past that stage, you and your partner can rest easy,
knowing that a huge problem has been acknowledged. Whether or not you
wish to continue your relationship is subject for discussion, but at
least you’ve taken the first step to letting go of the pain and finding
your true happiness.
Awkward relationship discussions can sometimes be serious, but they
can also cover completely trivial things. The one thing they all have in
common is this: nobody wants to have them.
Knowing what awaits you in an awkward conversation can be a
big help. Some conversations will feel less awkward when you know what
you’re up against. That way, you can prepare yourself and your partner
for any truth bombs you’re about to throw their way. Remember: an
awkward relationship conversation only lasts until you’ve said your
piece.
