You can’t control who you love
or who loves you. It is the fun and the curse of it. Want someone to
return your love? Try these things for requited love.
Is there anything worse than being in love with someone who doesn’t
return the feeling? I suppose war, death, and taxes can be. The most
frustrating thing about love is you have no control over who you love or
who loves you. The only thing you can do when someone doesn’t have requited love for you, either move on or try to show them a side of you that they may not see.
There is no magical way to stop loving someone. Unfortunately, you
can’t just “turn it off,” and moving on is always easier said than done.
If you really feel as if there is something between the two of you that your requited love may be missing, try these 17 ways to peak their interest.
#1 Find commonalities between you. Although
opposites attract, having similar interests is a great way to show
someone a side of you that they may not appreciate. When you are around
them, try to make “special” connections and relate to them in their
world. Soon they may find that they enjoy having you around more than
they thought.
#2 Try a new look. If you know that you haven’t put
much effort into the way that you look lately, physical attraction is
very important to a relationship and feelings of love.
Update your look, try working out, or find that “sexy you” inside you
may not have known existed. Likely, with a little effort and a good
hair expert, you can go from average to awesome. Make them give you a
second look.
#3 Better yourself. It isn’t just important to work on your outside look. Your requited love
may be looking for qualities such as kindness, generosity, and empathy.
If you are a little short on those things, you may want to find that
special you inside. Consider what you give to others and if you have
been somewhat “shallow,” finding more depth to your personality may
bring out something your requited love finds attractive.
#4 Find someone else. Trying to find someone else is
key for two reasons. One, they likely start taking a look at your
relationship once you aren’t blowing up their phone or looking at them
like a lost puppy.
Two, there is no greater thing to make you look attractive than being
unattainable. We always want what we can’t have, and who knows if you
find someone, they may be better for you. They may make your requited love wonder why they didn’t snatch you up and come running after you.
#5 Stop calling and texting. Instead of trying
always to be in their head, try taking a step back and not being
available. They’ve probably become accustomed to you calling and
texting. If you are getting the eye roll every time you try to connect,
try disconnecting.
Not only will it force you to take steps to move on just in case you
weren’t meant to be, but it will also make them miss you. Absence really
does make the heart grow fonder.
#6 Take the friend role. No one wants to get stuck
in the “friend” zone. Being their friend first helps you figure out what
it is that they are looking for in a relationship. Once you win your
way into their heart via the friend path, you have a special perspective
no one else has.
You also earn their love, albeit in a different way. Love changes and
evolves throughout a relationship. Who knows, it may turn into
something romantic along the way.
#7 Don’t be there to help. Your requited love
target has probably become used to you being their emergency contact.
They have no idea what it would be like if you weren’t around when they
needed someone. Show them what it would be by not being around.
The next time they get in a jam, show them that you have always been
the one they can turn to. If that isn’t love; I don’t know what is.
#8 Try pulling away. We are all creatures of habit.
When we have things, sometimes we don’t want them. What we can’t have
often looks really amazing and becomes the focus of our desire. If you
start to show them you can live without them, you may make them take
pause. Not only is it time for you to pull away for your own good and
try to move on, but it also makes them think twice about the place you
hold in their life, which may just be love.
#9 Don’t make assumptions. The fact that you call
them your unrequited love means that you have confessed your feelings,
and they don’t return them, correct? If you haven’t ever confronted or
been honest about how you feel, then you haven’t given them the
opportunity to tell you whether they love you or not.
You only assume from where you are now that they aren’t in love or
couldn’t love you in return. The first step is to be honest with them.
Who knows, once you let the cat out of the bag, you may find they have
the same feelings for you but were just too insecure to tell you too.
#10 Stop pretending to be someone else and be yourself. Sometimes
when we are in love with someone and are trying to impress them, we
start to act goofy or differently than who we really are.
Trying to impress them, we do and say stupid things outside of our
character. As hard as it is, you have to stop feeling awkward around
them and let the real you shine. If you already think they don’t love
you the way you love them, then what do you have to lose by just being
yourself?
#11 Don’t wait around. Waiting and wishing won’t get
you what you want. In fact, the more you continue to invest in someone
who isn’t invested in you, the worse you feel about yourself. Waiting
for someone to love you is like standing in quicksand. Pull off the
Band-Aid and start moving on. Not only will it show your strong side,
but it also makes you feel much better about yourself.
#12 Make yourself unavailable. Just like not being
there in an emergency, don’t ask how high when they say “jump.” If
someone has figured out that you love them, and they don’t feel the same
way toward you, they may be taking advantage of you whether you know
it, or they do, at all.
The next time that they reach out to you make yourself unavailable.
Nothing is more attractive than someone who isn’t into us any more or
blowing up our ego by always waiting in the wings.
#13 Think about whether you are really in love. Just
like they may love you once they think they can’t have you, could it be
that the thing you find so irresistible about them is that they aren’t
into you?
Wanting what we can’t have is a really attractive thing, but may be a
self-defeating behavior. Take a step back and think about whether you
really are in love, or if you are just making sure you don’t have to
commit for real.
#14 Could it be you are looking for the unattainable? Consider
this scenario, they turned to you and said that they have been in love
with you forever and simply can’t live without you. Do you think you
would jump into their arms and live happily ever after? Nothing is ever
as fairy tale as we make it in our heads. Perhaps hearing they loved you
too would make them slightly less desirable.
#15 Think about all the things you don’t like about them. I
know they are absolutely perfect, but if you can, think of the small
things that annoy you. Focusing on those things that aren’t all that hot
helps you to turn your case of the hots into something a little cooler.
Focusing on the negative is not something I normally tell someone to
do, but if you can’t have them, it is a great way of telling yourself
you wouldn’t want to anyway!
#16 Would you want to be with someone who doesn’t adore you? Don’t
you deserve to be with someone who can’t live without you and thinks
you are the diggity? Even if you think they are your dream mate, if they
don’t think you are the most awesome creature alive, then you deserve
something better. You are worth the same love that you give.
#17 What is it about them that you love? Try to
pinpoint what it is about them that you love so much. There are a
billion people on this earth. Surely, if you can find out what it is you
love so much, there is another out there who will love you
unconditionally for being you.
Nothing is worse than loving someone who doesn’t love you
back. You have two choices; you can be yourself, wait and wish that your
unrequited love turns to requited love someday, or you can take steps to move on and hope they change their mind.
