Flings can be a wonderful way to shake any lingering emotional ties from a previous relationship. They can also be a great way to “try on” people you might not date otherwise.
Some of the best summer flings seem to happen on foreign turf. I have a few single friends who often complain about how difficult it is to meet people in their own city but, for some reason, as soon as they travel and are on foreign soil, boom, they suddenly find themselves in full fling. There is something about getting outside your daily routine and beyond the familiar that makes you more open and willing to take a chance with someone you’ve just met. It creates a sort of suspended reality. And, if things don’t work, you know you’re eventually leaving anyway so you don’t have to invest as much emotionally because, chances are, you’ll never run into each other again.
The “fling” lies somewhere between a one-night stand and a relationship. The beauty of a fling is that you get to enjoy all the benefits of a new relationship without having all the emotional heavy-lifting of something long-term. Like having to meet his parents or worrying if your friends will like him. You’re both totally fascinated by everything you have to say to each other, and when you’re not, it’s okay because you always want to have more sex. Of course, the sex is usually better than that in a one-night stand because you feel a more intense connection, yet it doesn’t fizzle out, as relationship sex sometimes can.
Flings can be a wonderful way to shake any lingering emotional ties from a previous relationship. They can also be a great way to “try on” people you might not date otherwise.
Or they can simply be a nice escape from regular programming and a great travel adventure. In fact, if you can’t get away this summer and still want to engage in a fun, summer fling, try having a fling at home by becoming a tourist in your own town. Check out some cheesy tourist sites and pretend you’re in another city. Talk to people. Pretend you’re at a bar in Minsk. Open yourself up to new people as if you were traveling.
The only caution about flings is that you have to be careful not to be fooled by the intensity of a fling and try and turn it into something more. Yes, I know it’s intense and feels absolutely wonderful in the moment. But flings by definition, almost always come to an end as quickly as they begin. If you don’t follow some basic rules of conduct, you’ll get flung right into a pit of emotional despair, the exact opposite effect you’re looking for from a fling. These are here for your protection!
• Enjoy your fling for what it is. No expectations allowed. Remember, this is not Mr. Right, just Mr. Right Now.
• Don’t mistake lust for love. No saying “I love you” after Day 2.
• Always make sure you’re both aware that there are emotional limitations to this “relationship.”
• When a fling ends let it go gracefully. No quitting your job, giving up your apartment and following him to the other side of the world.
