Save yourself the agony and humiliation of clinging on until the bitter end, and just let him go.
To quote the J. Geils Band, sometimes “love stinks.” You love him, but he doesn’t love you and it sucks.You’ve suspected for days, weeks, months, inn some cases even years, that his heart wasn’t quite as committed as yours, and now he wants to ‘talk’. But you’re ready. You’re upbeat. You’re prepared. You’ve got all the reasons to stay together lined up in your stubborn head, and you’re going to prove to him that he shouldn’t give up so easily. He should give this thing a chance because after all, you love him enough for the both of you!
Let me stop you right there. There’s no relationship in the world that works as a one-way street, and despite your heartfelt convictions, if he’s not buying it, you can’t sell it. Save yourself the agony and humiliation of clinging on until the bitter end, and just let him go. Avoid the five major pitfalls of a messy break-up and hold your head high!
Talking Her Out Of It
This is the most common reaction of someone getting dumped. Resist the urge to blurt out phrases like, “But we’re great together!” or “No one will love you like I do!” While that may be true, it also begs the question, does she want to be loved that way? Sadly, the answer is no. It may seem like your beloved is just not ‘seeing clearly’, or that given more time she might come to a different conclusion about you, but the fastest way to elicit this future possibility is to keep quiet and walk away. Then she’ll be left thinking you’re calm and cool, two very attractive traits. Then even if she still doesn’t want you back upon further consideration, you’ll be in a different place moving on, and not having made a fool of yourself.
Be Too Proud To Beg
Do not allow yourself to sink to this depth of humiliation. If you find yourself trying to strike a bargain with a guy over a break-up, run don’t walk to the nearest exit. Never ever beg for more time, or haggle for an extra weekend. If your future ex agrees in a moment of weakness, that will truly be the most wretched weekend of both your lives. You will never recapture anything real by begging. It’s simply pathetic.
Eve Of Destruction
Planning to trash his apartment this weekend when he goes away to meet that skanky ho who lives in the next town over? Think again. Although revenge always ‘feels right’ at the time, it will feel very, very wrong once the deed is done. Unless you are a complete sociopath, you will regret destroying his property, egging his car, or stealing his credit cards.
Before you send her a suicide note in hopes of winning her back, take a moment to realize that self-destructive behavior will not attract the right kind of attention. You may turn her head with a cry for help, but ultimately when she refers you to a hotline and looks at you like she feels sorry for you, you will wish you’d never gone down this road. If you actually are suicidal, please refer to the emergency numbers on this website! And remember that you are loved, even if she’s not in love with you.
Making A Scene
It’s become a cliché in movies now that a man will take a woman to a public place to break up with her in hopes that she won’t make a scene. But sometimes it’s tempting to do it anyway. Before you pick up that plate of eggs with hollandaise, imagine the future you looking back on this brunch break-up. There are very few relationship crimes worthy of a public scene, and sadly, you’ll be the one left with egg on her face.
Love is a fickle thing, and sometimes we have to swallow our pride and our love for another person, in order to move on with dignity. If you find yourself in this position, try to at least avoid these top five break-up hazards, and keep your dignity!