Over the past three years I’ve reviewed literally thousands of my clients profiles and emails, and the biggest mistake that I see guys making is that they are being way too timid and insecure. However, there is another type of mistake that a TON of guys make that is in a way even worse. They go too far in the other direction and come off sounding like cocky, arrogant TOOLS!
In today’s article I want to talk about finding the sweet spot where you are communicating in a way that actually attracts women and gets them excited to hang out with you.
Hitting the sweet spot. You’ll know it when you get there because you’ll be getting a steady stream of emails, phone numbers, and dates. If you aren’t there yet, don’t worry. Usually all it takes is a few simple adjustments to your profile and the emails that you are sending.
Step 1: Check for Signs of Wussiness
As I’m sure you already know, women DON’T want to mess with sniveling, wussy, wimp-boys. So, it is vital to your success with online dating that you remove anything that could be interpreted as even slightly wussyish from your profile.
Now this doesn’t necessarily mean that you can’t show your sensitive side. That’s okay. It’s good to be a well rounded person. For instance I often talk about my love for puppies and kittens in my profile to help counter balance my raw badassness. When I talk about wussiness what I’m really referring to are things that indicate that you are unsure of yourself as a man, and have a low opinion of yourself as a man.
Step 2: Check for Signs of Over-Cockiness
Being cocky with women can be good but it can also be really bad. You’ve got to walk a fine line between showing her that you are a confident guy and coming across as an arrogant dick. The trouble is that being cocky the right way is much more difficult online. When you are with a girl in person it’s easy to see how she is reacting to your cockiness and adjust accordingly if she seems put off by it. Online you don’t have that luxury.
One of the worst ways that I see guys being cocky online is in describing the type of women that they want to date. Often guys will go into all this crazy detail about how they want this super sexy girl who is blonde, tall, thin, and gorgeous and they go on and on and on about it. They THINK that they’re being a “challenge” and showing off that they have high standards. But this kind of talk just makes a guy sound like a chooch.
Step 3: Make it Fun
Once you have gotten rid of all of the wussy stuff and the cocky stuff you may be left with a pretty thin profile. And the best way to bulk it out is by adding fun little stories about yourself that will grab her attention and make her curious. This can be achieved easily, as you may know women typically don’t need you to spin elaborate tales to get them interested. Simply putting a fun spin on mundane crap is all it takes to stand out from the lifeless beige wearing drones who talk about their boring ass jobs!