Saturday, November 3, 2012

Does She Actually Need to Go?

women dance

It’s a Saturday night, you’re hitting the d-floor being grinded on by a total hottie. At the very least, she seems cute under low lighting after a few beers. You pull a few moves and end up locking lips, until after few minutes of making-out she leans up at you and says the seven un-sexiest words known to man: “I have to go to the bathroom”. She then disappears into the mysterious, perfume-filled place known as the ladies’ toilets, and you never find her again.

Often girls use the excuse of needing to go to the toilet to get away from guys. Unfortunately, the problem with this is that sometimes it’s true. Contrary to popular belief, girls do have bodily functions; how else would the line for the ladies’ room be so long? So, how do you determine if a girl actually needs to attend to the needs of her bladder, or is just blowing you off? What is the appropriate course of action in these situations? Here are a few pointers.

Has she gotten what she wanted?
It’s possible that all she desired was a quick pash. If she seems uninterested after you’ve hooked in, then chances are she’s using that excuse for a quick escape.

Has she left her friends there?
If she’s with a friend or two and leaves them on the dance floor during her toilet break, then she has to come back for them. If you stay put, then this also involves coming back to you, just make sure not to hit on her friends in the meantime. Be aware that converses do not apply. If she takes a girlfriend to the bathroom with her, it doesn’t necessarily mean she’s not interested. This is just an example of the common phenomenon of girls going to the toilet in groups for mysterious reasons not known to man.

Is it okay to go for another girl in the time it takes girl #1 to pee?
Only if you’re fairly confident that it was just an excuse, otherwise it is a dick move. If girl 1# comes back only to see you sucking another woman’s face, she could very well be heartbroken. At the very least, move to a different location so you are less likely to be spotted. However, if you have a chance with someone substantially hotter, then go for it!

What to say.
It’s difficult to know how to respond when someone tells you about their bodily functions, especially if they’re a random. When she tells you she needs to go, and you’re not sure if that is a legitimate needs, you could try saying something along the lines of “Need some assistance?” if you’re a bit of a comedian and feeling ballsy. If she says no, you haven’t lost anything. And if she says yes, then the opportunity for some dirty toilet cubicle sex may arise. Or, you could try saying “Me too!” and see if she’s like “come with me” or gives a less receptive response. For the more subtle types, you could throw her a wink and say “I’ll be waiting” or “Meet me at the bar”.

The difficulty with this excuse is that it’s so believable- when the alcohol is flowing, inevitably it needs to come out the other end at some stage. However, asking around has suggested that, more often than not, it’s a legitimate excuse and the girl in question really does need to go. But girls are usually aware that leaving to go to the bathroom signals disinterest, and if they are really interested in you, they will try to let you know.

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