Folk wisdom would have you believe that when you take your lady friend out to wine and dine her, you have to foot the bill if you want to get in her pants that night. After your date has gone exactly to plan, and you’ve said all the right things to keep the conversation going and keep her interested; she can throw a spanner in the works when the bill arrives by insisting to pay her own way.
Does it mean she won’t sleep with me?
Whether or not she accepts your offer to pay tells you a lot about her convictions, but doesn’t give you too much of an indication of what she’s doing tonight.
Paying for herself is sending you the signal that she’s independent and cannot be bought. But, independent woman like to get laid too. Because she rejected your attempt to buy her affections, she won’t feel obliged to have sex with you. This doesn’t mean she doesn’t want to.
Why does she want to pay for herself?
Some women complain that accepting gifts, including free meals, from their admirers makes them feel like you are trying to buy their body. Being able to flash her own cash makes a woman feel in control, and like she doesn’t owe you anything. She’s not engaging in the transaction of receiving a steak dinner and giving a blowjob, but that doesn’t mean there are no blowjobs to follow.
As well as showing you that she isn’t available for purchase or hire, she may also want to signal that she is not a gold-digger. Particularly if it’s a first date, she wants to show you that she’s not just after the contents of your wallet. She’s trying to impress you just as much as you want to impress her!
Should I let her pay?
Sometimes, women make insincere offers to pay half, in an effort so as not to appear that she’s using you for a free meal- even though she really does want you to pay. Show her how chivalrous you are by saying something like “No I insist, it’s my treat!” when she whips her wallet out. But, if she remains adamant that she won’t accept your generous offer, giving in is preferable to starting an argument over it. You don’t want to ruin the night by getting in a fight, particularly if it’s a first date!
If she does end up paying for herself, then you could try the dessert maneuver. If you haven’t gotten dessert yet, suggest going somewhere else after dinner for a sweet treat, which you insist on paying for. Since this will cost far less than a meal, it is a small act of chivalry she is likely to accept even if she wants to show how self-sufficient she is.
The second-date distraction
If she has wanted to cover her half of the bill but you got to it first, you can try this little trick to keep her feeling independent and to score a second date. If she seemed sincere in her offer to pay for herself, you can cheekily suggest that next time can be her treat. Or, if you don’t want to put the full cost of a dinner for two onto her, you can schedule a coffee date instead.