When things are beginning to get serious in your relationship, your special lady will inevitably ask you about the serious relationships of your past. This is always a sticky topic – and here’s how to do it right.
Don’t talk crap about your ex
It’s tempting to tell your current girlfriend that your ex was a truly horrible person, with the notion that saying this will put your girl at ease because you think she’s better than the last one. The only problem with this is, it will make her think you’re disrespectful. It will also make her wonder – if you say such bad things about your ex, what will you say about her when your relationship comes to an end?
It is far better to be reasonable when discussing your ex. Don’t adopt a tone of disgust, try to talk about your ex in distant but respectful terms- use the most neutral language you can. Don’t glorify your ex either- this is even worse than bagging her. Sobbing over a love lost may help Ashton Kutcher’s dreamy character score hotties in Two and a Half Men, but unless you are Ashton Kutcher, it will backfire horribly.
But what if you do hate your ex?
Of course, bitterness usually arises from a break-up, especially if it ended in bad terms. So your hatred for your ex is genuine, and not exaggerated in an attempt to please your current girl. I am of the opinion that is still pays to not get too passionate when discussing your ex, because it could make you look like you haven’t yet moved on. If you take a detached tone, it will show that you have gotten over your ex, but aren’t an asshole about someone you were close to in the past.
Don’t make comparisons
It may seem obvious not to compare your current girlfriend to the last one, but it’s easier to do than you might think. It could happen in the way of a compliment – telling her that she’s far superior to your ex in some way, for example. It’s never nice to be compared to someone, even if you get the good side of the comparison – she will want to be seen as her own person, completely different to your last serious girlfriend. What’s worse is if you draw a comparison like “you have the same eyes as her,” which will make her think that she is just a replacement for your ex. If you tell her that one of her personality traits is similar to that of your ex, she will also wonder if the relationship is doomed like your last one. Any kind of comparison, just avoid. In fact, it would be better if you could avoid the whole ex conversation, but sometimes you have no choice.
The break-up question
The Ex Conversation usually includes a question on why the relationship ended. If you can, be honest, because it can be hard to keep track of lies. But if the break-up was your fault, you’re better off making up a story that casts you in a better light and doesn’t plant seeds of doubt in your new girl’s mind.