This is an extremely common question: how do you know when she’s attracted to you?
There’s certainly a fair amount of information out there on the topic, but before long that information can get excessive, overly complicated, and often can be too specific (if she tells you the name of the street she grew up on, she totally wants you).
To simplify things, which is kind of my gift, I have three secondary signals that are easy to notice and generally universal, and one sign to rule them all.
The Secondary Signals
- The Chatty Cathy: Is she just yap yap yapping away? Great sign she’s into you. Are you giving here the space to talk too much?
- Facial Expressiveness: A pillar of Fearless for a very good reason. The face is our primal tool for communication. If hers is lit up and she’s got that twinkle in her eye, she wants to share some of herself with you.
- Hips Don’t Lie: We’ve been saying it around TSM forever – whatever a person has their hips pointed toward is what they are most interested in at that point in time. If you’ve got hers then you’ve got her heart as well. (Cheesy? Oh yeah – perk of the job.)
The thing is, a woman can be doing all of these things – and while it usually means she’s into you – she could simply be a very socially confident, outgoing, and friendly individual. (I wouldn’t be surprised if she had a solid number of guys after her as well.)
This is the reason for the sign to rule them all. If you have this – you don’t need any other signals. If you don’t have it – something is amiss. (Just be sure to keep in mind the 60/40 principle and not blame yourself first.)
The sign to rule them all is your single most powerful tool for communicating sexuality: eye contact.
I’m not talking about polite and respectful eye contact that friends give each other. I’m talking about that eye contact that lasts several moments longer than it was supposed to last and that makes you feel something funny in your belly (maybe a little lower too). You could have that from across the room and the message couldn’t be any clearer. If it doesn’t feel funny you’re not doing it right.
The tragedy here is that far too often, these signals will not be returned – and not because the guy doesn’t feel the same way, but because he’s too nervous and in his own head to notice them.
We all know we’re supposed to make solid eye contact and do so a majority of the time – but the story’s still the same: Enter girl with gorgeous smile? Exit any semblance of sanity.
Take a moment now to think of the times a girl was trying to tell you how much she liked you, you were oblivious to her signals for whatever reason, you didn’t reciprocate (that funny eye contact we discussed is usually enough), and you left her feeling either rejected or sad that you couldn’t be what she wanted you to be…
Now the important question: How many times are you going to let it happen again?