If you ever read online dating profiles you’ll see that a lot of people say the same thing in the first paragraph, and it goes something like this “I don’t really like trying to sell myself on here…” The first time I wrote a dating profile I said the same thing.
People like to think that others are attracted to them because of their subtle personal characteristics. And we’ve all been told how unattractive bragging and self promotion are, so it’s normal to feel hesitant about tooting your own horn. However, if you want to succeed with women online or off you really need to learn how to promote yourself properly. If you don’t you’re gonna be stuck settling for women who some how magically stumble upon you, and take the time to get to know you and find out how cool you are. That can take a while, and there are no guarantees that it will EVER happen.
Get to marketing!
I’m not going to try to convince you that you should be marketing yourself to women because you’re already doing it to some degree whether you realize it or not. The important thing is to acknowledge this and make an effort to do a better job at it. Here are 3 tips to get your started:
1. Packaging yourself
Your looks and your gear are things that you can work around. But, that being said why make things harder on yourself than they need to be? Looking good, fit and hip will help you get your foot in the door, so it’s a smart move to “max out” these things and give yourself a big head start. If you look like a bum, many women will overlook you. They won’t approach you, and when you approach them you’ve got a strike against you before you even say a word. Packaging yourself properly is really pretty simple to do and of course you’ve already heard the spiel about getting in shape and handling your hygiene a million times by now.
But one factor I’ve got to mention is the clothes thing! I see so many young dudes still saggin’ their pants and trying to look “gangsta” with XXXXL white t-shirts that look like a damn moo-moo. It’s like the kid in that movie “Malibu’s Most Wanted.” This is a really immature look. Of course it is cool to have a bit of edginess to your look, but remember a classy and mature “bad boy look” beats the hell out of looking like a wanna-be rapper.
2. Get Clear On Your Pitch, And Believe In It
When you start talking to a woman you are interested in, it helps if you already have it sorted out in your head WHY she should want to roll with you. A lot of guys step up to a girl, without being able to explain why she should be interested, and if you asked them they wouldn’t even be able to come up with any compelling reasons.
You need to come up with a compelling reason, and you need to believe in it yourself or you’re gonna have a hell of a time selling it to a girl.
Think of it like this, does a Lamborghini dealer need to talk anybody into buying a Lamborghini? No, he doesn’t because he believe in the value he is providing. If you asked him what’s good about a Lamborghini, he could tell you about it in a calm, believable way. If you go to buy a piece of shit car from some guy on Craigslist who never sold a car before chances are he’s not going to know what to say and you’re probably going to take a pass.
So be like the Lamborghini dealer, not the dude from Craigslist.
3. Get Your Face Out There
If you don’t promote yourself to the women in your area, they aren’t going to know about you and you’ll have no way of dating them. They aren’t just going to show up at your doorstep! So it’s a good idea to identify some “channels” that you can meet women through. The popular ones are: going out to bars, “day game”, expanding your social circle (a part-time job, hanging out with new friends…) online dating, and speed dating.
Rather than trying to do all of these things at once, pick one that you think might might work well for you and focus on it for a solid month. Chances are that before long you’ll figure out the best way to bring new women into your life.