Friday, February 3, 2012

Establishing Boundaries In Relationships - Part 2

In the first part of this article we explored the boundaries we should draw in any relationship. We discussed about a woman called Marjorie and how she drew boundaries. Let us discuss ahead-

Marjorie decided that she would not tolerate any lying. That was her decision. She has extra strength because she decided it beforehand, when the matter was still theoretical and not personal and emotional. For someone else, they might have a different boundary for lying, and that’s okay, too. If their partner never lies, then the boundary never comes up, only if it is needed.

But something that is VERY IMPORTANT TO NOTE:

She is the one who has decided her limit, and has taken this important matter out of mutual decision. She knows that others, if they are not honest and respectable, will not make a decision in her best interests. In these cases, she won’t let herself be persuaded or manipulated to stay in a relationship that hurts her, because her decision is clear. She knows that for her, she would rather be alone, and would rather give up someone she loves, if they cannot be honest. She knows breaking a relationship with a liar, would in the long run, leave her happier in life. She has taken back her personal power by getting clear on her boundaries, and the consequences of violating them.

Those who draw their own rules and boundaries in arelationship are not hurt as badly as those who do not draw boundaries. If Marjorie does not draw boundaries and is lied by her partner she will think about many options in the relationship and may talk to few friends about what to do. She will operate from weakness. But once she has drawn her boundaries she does not allow anybody to violate them and always remains strong.

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