I like cats, he likes dogs. I like the lights on, he wants ‘em off! Is it a deal breaker? No! Your relationship can work even if you’re opposites!
Life would have been so much easier if I had married a male version
of myself, right? Imagine him doing exactly what I like, eating exactly
what I like, cooking *if I’m lucky* exactly what I like. Looks
promising, doesn’t it? Trust me, it’s not.
My husband, Pete, and I – we’re complete opposites, but we try hard
to maintain that equilibrium by being honestly sarcastic! So we came to a
conclusion that the only thing we have in common is that we hate being
opposites, but we’re different individuals, what choice do we have? We
keep having sarcastic verbal wars every now and then, all in good will.
We don’t fight over the fact that we’re different from each other,
instead we highlight our differences. We make each other look better!
You don’t understand, do you?
Just earlier this week, Pete invited a few friends over at home.
Then, when everything was over, he sarcastically apologized for not
being more “like me” – a nerdy, book-loving, shy, non-drinker. And I
couldn’t hold back, so I sarcastically apologized for not being an
addict gamer, bar hopping, sassy girl who loves listening to Lady Gaga!
Why opposites attract
Where’s the fun in life if there are no surprises? Imagine a
situation where you and your spouse are the same, and both of you know
that you don’t expect gifts on your birthday, but it would be nice to
receive them. Now it’s your birthday, but your partner doesn’t gift you
anything because you’re not expecting them! So boring!
But imagine a situation where your partner surprises you with an
expensive dress? Or she surprises you with front row seats to the NBA
finals? Don’t tell me you wouldn’t like it, because deep down we all
love to lead delightfully unpredictable lives. Today you’re here,
tomorrow you’re there! That’s life.
In my case, I think the only reason Pete and I are together is
because of the number of young women he has dated, so I bring to his
life the least amount of drama! Of course, he thinks that he would be
much “happier“ with girls who like to live on the edge. But he
always ends up with a black eye, thanks to these edgy girls’ crazy
ex-boyfriends.
Having said that, the fact is that Pete hasn’t been punched in the
eye in years, and that’s thanks to me because I’m calm and extremely
boring. It’s funny how we ended up together then, right? He likes
adventure. I like, well, not boredom, but let’s just say I like staying
put.
When it comes to choosing a good life partner, what you want and what
you need are different. Of course. We all want a life partner who’s
just like us, but what we really need is a partner who challenges us,
inspires us, and loves us despite our differences. Isn’t that what
happiness and success is all about?
So no matter how much you want to be married to someone just like
you, trust me, it’s not fun, it’s not exciting, and life will turn out
to be less progressive. You want to climb the ladder of success. Whether
in your relationship or at work, remember that climbing also requires
one right and one left leg!
Complete opposites having great relationships – it is possible!
Being complete opposites means leading different lives together, and
this means twice the fun. Apart from finding ways to develop each other,
there are lots of other things you should understand in order to have
an awesome relationship.
#1 Always remember that you complement each other. If
you’re married to or dating your opposite, always remember that where
they are weak, you are strong and vice versa. A perfect couple is not
one that thinks alike, it’s one that thinks different and fills in the
gaps of the other.
#2 Being with a mirror image of yourself will be deadly boring. Remind
yourself that you’re with your complete opposite, not because you think
the same things, but because you don’t. They say love is blind, so let
love decide because most of the time, if not all, you will be attracted
to someone who is your complete opposite!
A partner just like you will not allow you to grow, and you won’t be
able to challenge each other’s weaknesses and strengths. Life is awesome
if it’s filled with risks, challenges, surprises, love, and mysteries.
#3 Be different, and help each other grow. For
example, when we first met, I always used to take my time if I had to
attend an event, but Pete was always on time. After our wedding, even I
started attending events on time, because let’s face it, it’s a good
thing, and Pete encouraged me.
On the other hand, Pete was a spendthrift before marriage, today he’s
saving for our future, and he learned that from me! It’s important that
you know each other’s strengths and weaknesses, so that you can grow
together as a couple.
#4 Learn to compromise for a healthy relationship. The
only thing that keeps a complete opposite couple together is their
ability to compromise at times. You don’t have to do it on a daily
basis, but if you feel it’s important for your better half, do it, and
you’ll see how happy it makes them.
Sometimes, all it takes to make the other half happy is taking the
bullet and showing them some interest. It would definitely mean the
world to them, just as much as it would mean to you if they were to do
the same for you. Be selfless, *at times!*.
#5 Be sensitive and learn to apologize. Understand
that you’re human, and you will make mistakes. It’s inevitable, but when
you do, be sensitive and apologize. We’re humans, we’re going to be
selfish i.e. we’re going to be sensitive to our own needs. While it’s
okay to love ourselves, keep in mind your partner’s needs and what makes
them tick.
When arguments happen, handle them in a proper manner, and resolve
them quickly. If you’re wrong, apologize for your mistakes, and if you
weren’t, be humble, and let your partner know that you’re sorry about
the argument.
Remember how I began writing this article? Those were my ideas when I
was younger. I wanted to always date and marry an awesome male version
of myself. This is what I wanted because my idea of a happy life was to
be with a man who was everything I’d like to be.
Today, things are different. Today, I’d rather be a first class
version of myself and be with a man who helps me achieve that, no matter
what!
Being the total opposite of your partner can make your
relationship ten times more exciting, since both of you bring different
things to the table. Revel in your differences, work through them, and
you’ll find that opposites do attract!
