One of life’s many debates is whether young love can weather life’s fantastical ups and cruel downs. Can young lovers really mature together?
Sure, there are movies, articles, songs, books, and poems dedicated
to young love, but what about real life? Tales of high school
sweethearts growing old together mostly come from a time of long ago
before corrupt values, modern technology, fast-paced lifestyles, and
fickle mentalities descended upon us.
In today’s day and age where the more sexual partners you have, the
cooler you are, and divorce rates have more than doubled, can young love
really survive? These are very trying times and certainly a test of
both your resolves.
How do you grow and mature together? How do you continuously support
each other despite changing mindsets and goals? How do you align your
hopes and dreams and work towards them together, without letting these
very dreams tear you apart?
When you first met your partner, you were young, wild, and carefree.
High school was a blur, and all you can remember about it are pep
rallies, football games, and making out behind the bleachers. Met in
college? It’s the same thing.
You were both young and without a care in the world. Now that you’re
both grown up, realistic problems like paying the bills, getting a job,
keeping your job, and all that other stuff put things into perspective.
[Read:
How to mature together, even if your relationship started early
Are you worried that your young love will hold you back, or are you
concerned that you will not let your partner grow and mature for fear of
losing them? Thankfully, there’s an answer to everything, including how
to age gracefully with your young love by your side. Here are 10 tips
on how to make it happen.
#1 Learn from your mistakes. The thing about falling
in love at a young age is that both of you have no idea what you’re
doing. When you first got together, you probably didn’t realize that it
would last as long as it did. That’s the downside to young love. You go
in with no experience, and end up making all the mistakes that you can
possibly make with this one person.
It’s like the blind leading the blind, but that’s actually where the
fun lies. Because you’re both noobs at relationships, you can learn from
your mistakes. Challenge yourselves to learn and grow from everything
that you failed at. You’ll be old pros in no time.
#2 Make it a point to forgive. Learning from your
mistakes brings me to my next point, and that is forgiveness. Do not
underestimate the importance of letting things go, as they lend a hand
in helping you reach maturity. Remember that your partner is just as
inexperienced as you are, so don’t ever tire of busting out the
forgiveness card. Forgiving makes it simpler to move on from one issue,
and onward to the next.
#3 Be clear about what’s important. It may be hard
for a couple of youngsters to decide just what they want to do for the
rest of their lives, but there’s no harm in determining what makes you
happy. Be clear with your partner on what’s important to you.
Do you want a family one day? Do you want to win a Nobel Peace Prize?
Do you want to be the first woman on the moon? No matter what, make
sure that you’re both very aware of each other’s goals because it will
make it easier to align them with one another’s.
#4 Have your own friends. One of the toughest parts
about being with your high school or college love is that you probably
share the same group of friends. There’s nothing wrong with an overlap,
but it’s very important for both of you to have your own social circle.
Not only will mixing with new people give you the chance to expand your
horizons, it will also give you the chance to see and do new things
without your partner.
For example, instead of heading out for drinks at the same old bar
with your partner and shared friends, you can head to an art gallery
with your colleagues. No matter what, always remember that there’s
nothing wrong with having your own group of friends that your partner
doesn’t necessarily have to be close to.
#5 Travel together. Another brilliant way to grow
and mature together is to go off on adventures. Travel together, and do
it often, without hesitation. Life’s all about making memories, and who
better to build some with than with your first love?
Take advantage of your youth, and opt out of exploring conventional
locations. Steer clear of luxury resorts, and backpack instead. You’re
sure to learn a thing or two about each other when you’re slumming it in
the backstreets of Cambodia.
#6 Don’t let inexperience get in the way. Another
way to grow and mature together is to never let your lack of
relationship know-how become a point of contention. Don’t blame one
another for the mistakes made, and for not knowing how to fix a
relationship problem. Garner and apply advice taken from those who have
more experience, and by working on your issues on your own, you’re sure
to grow and mature together.
#7 The grass isn’t always greener. Always remember
that the grass may not be greener on the other side. Just like any
relationship, there will be times when you want to up and leave. You
will probably wonder what it’s like being with someone else, and you may
even regret sticking to just one person.
Sure, there’s a whole world of potential partners out there, but
remember that something that bloomed out of innocence and uncomplicated
love shouldn’t be thrown away. Fix it, and be sure to do a good job.
#8 Experiment sexually. One reason why young lovers
call it quits early on is because they are curious about what lies
beyond their world of the same old sexual escapades. There’s no harm in
experimenting sexually with your partner. Use each other’s bodies as a
canvas, and paint a picture of love and passion.
Figure out your likes and dislikes, and don’t be afraid to attempt
new things. If both of you are comfortable with it, consider inviting a
third party into your romps. You can also agree to an open relationship
for a year or two to expand your sexual horizons. Be clear on the rules,
and never hurt one another. Most of all, no matter what, never have an
affair.
#9 Set small goals. This piece of advice applies to
everyone, not just to young lovers who want to grow and mature in their
relationship. There’s nothing wrong with looking at the end goal and
striving to get there, but be sure not to lose your foothold when
traipsing on life’s stepping stones.
Instead of working towards one big goal, break it up into little
goals and accomplish each one as a couple. Practice makes perfect, and
the more little goals you accomplish with your partner, the easier it
will get further down the road.
#10 Value one another. Another tip to grow and
mature together if you started your relationship young is to always
remember how much you mean to each other. Don’t just value your partner,
but also everything he or she holds dear.
From your lover’s hobbies to family members, appreciate all that they
have and are willing to do for you. Recognize that no matter how smooth
sailing life is, sacrifice was involved. You of all people know just
what it took to get there, so cherish them always.
At the end of the day, so long as you appreciate, respect,
and love your partner, it doesn’t matter if you started your
relationship young. Growing into the person you were meant to be is not
easy. It takes plenty of life lessons, failures, and struggles to get
there, but with the right person by your side, anything is possible.
