When you’re in a new relationship, it can be tempting to text your partner anything, anytime. But this might end up ruining your relationship.
Technology has changed so quickly, and along with this, changed the
dating world drastically. Instead of calling, we have text. Instead of
meeting people out at a bar, we meet them online. We no longer live in
the era of having pen pals, having to use dial-up modems, talking to
friends on AIM or Instant Messenger or typing ‘a/s/l’ in chat-rooms.
We don’t need Webcams because we have Skype, and guys don’t have to
drive over to your house to physically ask your parents’ permission to
take you out on a date. And thanks to Instagram, photo filters were
born, allowing social media users everywhere to edit photos, showing the
world only their “best sides.”
All these things have changed how people date, some without even
realizing it. Dating has become interesting and confusing, more so now
than ever. Is what you see really what you get?
Texting mistakes to avoid in your relationship
With texting being one of the easiest forms of communication, you
might find yourself resorting to it whenever you start missing your
partner. But are you inadvertently ruining your relationship with your
texting habits?
#1 Too often, too soon. If you’re in a new
relationship, it’s probably pretty accurate to say that you two are
excited about each other. It’s natural to talk a lot and often about
something you are excited about. But if you’re always texting 24/7,
seriously you need to slow down!
Unless you’re trying to kill the intrigue and desire, then by all
means, go ahead and text them that you’re awake, and now you’re getting
coffee, and now you’re at the gym, and now you’re actually working out
at the gym, and now you’re in the bathroom at the gym, and now you’re
leaving the gym, and now you’re eating lunch with your friend Tiffany,
and… yeah.
Seriously, think about how much effort actually goes into texting all
this. A LOT. Imagine being the one on the receiving end, they will be
even more exhausted reading your pointless drivel. Have you ever made
fun of someone on Facebook because they posted what they had for
breakfast and that they got all their laundry done? Don’t be that
person! Don’t flood your new flame with the trivialities of your life!
#2 You hardly ever talk in person. If you actually
plan on dating your new flame for a long period of time, and are looking
for true love, then you’re going to need to get up off your texting
butt and actually communicate, with your mouths, in person!
What’s the point of being in a relationship with a living, breathing
human being if majority of your communication revolves around reading
each other’s texts and emojis? How are you going to know if your partner
is being sarcastic, if the story they’ll tell is sad, if they’re
looking to get some advice? And when you finally do get to meet up in
person, you’ll get so used to each other’s texting habits that having an
actual conversation may start to feel awkward. Is that what you want?
#3 Playing detective. If you’re dating someone new,
and they tell you they are going to go play dodge ball with some
friends, or they text you they are “hanging at their boys’ house” this
does not mean you should text them asking “What friends are you hanging
with? Where are you playing dodge ball? What time are you playing dodge
ball? What do you mean ‘hanging’ with the boys? Who all are you with? Is
it just boys?”
Does this sound crazy to you? It should! If it doesn’t, well, there
are certain behaviors that people do that are considered to be insane,
and yeah, this would be within that category for certain. Do not scare
away the new person in your life with incessant questions that sound
like the script for an interrogator. You are not their mother, their
local police officer, and certainly not their babysitter. You are their
significant other, so be the romantic, not frantic!
#4 Selfie overload. It’s human nature to get tired
of listening to the same song on the radio, seeing the same models
everywhere, reading the same book. Just like the world is pretty
exhausted with the Kardashians posting their faces everywhere, your
significant other will get pretty worn out really fast if you keep
posting yours via social media and texting them.
We get it. You’re attractive, and feeling good. Bravo! But it’s safe
to say if you’re dating someone new, the physical attraction is a
non-issue and they are already way into you, as far as how you look. Why
bother with sending a hundred daily selfies if you’re going to meet up
with your partner eventually anyway? Wouldn’t they appreciate the real
deal more?
#5 You compose text novels. It’s great if you have a
really awesome story to tell, but if you think sending a 500-character
text to your significant other is the way to go, then you’re going the
wrong way. There is a reason Twitter only allows tweets with 140
characters or less. Less is MORE. If you have MORE to say, pick up the
phone and talk. It’s that simple.
No one wants to read a long-ass text from someone they like about how
their doctor’s appointment went way longer because the nurse did this,
and someone did that, and someone’s in the emergency room for stubbing
their toe. Just imagine casually checking your phone and being greeting
with a gigantic block of text!
If you want to write a novel, pick up a pen and paper, or use your
actual computer and hit “save” instead of “send.” If you really want
them to know about your little anecdote, why not just pick up the phone,
as mentioned earlier, or better yet, wait until you meet up so you’ll
have a fun story to tell?
#6 Filler texts. One of the most annoying texts you
could possibly get is the dreaded “K.” Why? For one, it’s unnecessary,
and two, it adds nothing to the conversation. Don’t send a pointless
text just for the sake of keeping your “conversation” going.
Your partner doesn’t need a constant reminder that you exist, beeping
away at their phones. Before you send over a generic filler text or a
random smiley that doesn’t really add any substance to your
conversation, think again. Send something with meaning like a short,
funny story or something interesting you saw on your commute.
If you can’t come up with anything, just accept the silence. Give
each other a little space. Let your partner do their thing without
having to feel the incessant vibration of their phone, only to open up a
message with a pointless smiley.
#7 Compliment count = 0. This is the opposite of
mistake 4, because if you’re lucky enough to be dating
someone who isn’t
self-absorbed and sending you photos all the time, then when they do
send you a photo, it makes it that much more special and sincere.
If you’re dating someone who sends you a picture of themselves once
in a blue moon, the basic rule of thumb would be to write back to them
something nice about the photo. If you two are in the middle of a text
conversation, but they randomly throw in a pic, and then carry on with
the conversation casually, without really mentioning the picture they
just sent you, don’t ignore it even if your partner diverts the
conversation because they’re feeling awkward.
Completely ignoring the photo will seriously shatter your partner’s heart. So don’t even think of going down that road!
#8 Text fighting. With texting, you can only assume
you know the tone your partner is using as you have an argument. But if
you’re in a new relationship, or really any relationship, you should
never fight over text messaging. EVER.
Seriously, think about how many times your iPhone automatically fills
in the completely wrong spelling of the word sh*t or fu*k, a lot. You
end up looking so ridiculous, because the text gets delivered looking
something like “Duck you!” or “I don’t give a dhit!” The time you
spend in a rage trying to autocorrect your text messages and using your
caps locks are the minutes you’ve just wasted, when you could have just
used a calm and gentle voice to get your point across and potentially
avoid an argument in the first place!
Though technology has made relationships easier, relying on
it too much will make your relationship deteriorate much faster. Take a
break from all this texting, and just go on a nice face-to-face date to
keep the romance alive!
