There are some things that may remain a mystery. Some factors might make love probable, but they don’t explain it all. So, here’s why we fall in love.
Love is a many splendored thing, or at least that is the
way the song goes. We may not always know why we fall in love, but the
truth is, there is something very comforting about being in love. Once
you have fallen in love for the first time, you forever chase the rush
that it gives you.
The problem with love is that you don’t get to choose
who you fall in love with, or when you find them. A complex combination
of similarities and chemicals, why people love one another is still a
mystery – even to the most coveted scientists.
Many theories exist about why we fall in love, but to
date, there is no one reason why two people mutually feel love for each
other. We all know that sometimes people can love us, or we can love
others, and it isn’t returned. But when there is a meeting of two
people’s desires, it is one of the most miraculous things in the entire
world.
There are chemicals released in the brain that allow us
to experience the sensation of love, but it isn’t all about chemicals.
There are other factors in play. Environmental things like proximity,
socioeconomic status, and upbringing are important too.
9 reasons why we fall in love
According to science, it isn’t about the stars aligning.
But don’t give up on the soul mate theory just yet. Fate does have a
hand for sure. Here are 9 reasons why we fall in love.
#1 Emotional maturity. People who are on the same
level emotionally are more likely to love each other. Highly empathetic
people fall in love with other highly empathetic people and aren’t very
likely to fall for someone who is selfish or self-serving.
When you are both at the same emotional maturity level,
not only are you more likely to fall in love, you will probably enjoy a
more satisfying life together.
Once the chemical reactions like pheromones that draw us
together fade, having an emotionally level platform from which you both
stand makes for more understanding throughout the peaks and valleys of
life. It also takes more sacrifice. When you sacrifice yourself, you
feel better about you and then the person you sacrificed for sees you in
a positive light.
#2 A woman’s evolutionary details. Men are more
likely to fall in love with women who have the right “measurements.”
That isn’t always what women want to hear, but it is what science
proves. We are nothing but animals in clothes when it comes to our
desire to survive and procreate.
A woman who has “child bearing hips” in relation to her
overall stature, is viewed as more highly attractive than those who look
more fragile for mating. The waist-to-hip ratio is one of the biggest
things that draws two people together and is on of the reasons why we
fall in love.
#3 Ideology. We tend to fall in love with people
who have the same or similar ideology as our own. Whatever side of the
political fence you are on, you are going to be more attracted to people
who have the same perspective as you.
Surprisingly, scientists have found that political
affiliation is more important to falling in love than having similar
personality styles or even religious beliefs.
Politics is not just about the way that you see the
economy, but the way that you guide your decision and determine what is
right or wrong. That is why those who think similarly view one another
more favorably and are more likely to fall in love.
#4 “Beauty.” There is no mystery that the first
thing that makes a couple fall in love is an attraction to one another.
Scientists have long been researching what makes someone more beautiful
than someone else. The thing that appears to determine your hotness on a
scale of 1 to 10 is something called symmetry.
Symmetry is the way that the two sides of your face
match. For evolutionary reasons, the symmetry of your face signals to a
prospective mate that you have good genes to carry on the species.
That is what drives you to want to sleep with them,
smell them and just be around them. Beauty is not in the eye of the
beholder, but more in the way that your face shows how good your genetic
makeup is for the survival of the human race. And that’s a fascinating
reason why we fall in love.
#5 Where you live. Various cultures value
different attractive traits. Those who lives in areas where food is
scarce are more attracted to people who are heavy. It is a sign that
they are affluent and a part of the upper crust of society. In reverse,
if you are from somewhere where food is in abundance, being thin may be
more desirable.
Even something like breast size may be about more than
just big and beautiful; it may trigger to a man that you have the means
to be well nourished and that is a status symbol in some nations. That
is why when you go to different cultures, you may find beauty in places
that those who live in the region don’t.
#6 Similar features. Have you ever noticed that
couples start to look like one another as they get older? That may be
more of a chicken versus egg argument. In fact, research has shown that
we usually fall in love with people who don’t look like us at all.
Hence, the long-standing phrase, opposites attract. The problem is that
couples who look completely different have a tendency not to last.
When studying long-term relationships, what scientists
have found is that when people look similar to one another, they have a
greater probability of falling in love and staying in love. For
evolutionary reasons, we tend to go for people who don’t look like us,
but we settle with those who are more similar to our own features.
The reason is that we have a drive to avoid marrying
people who we are related to. So that is why we find dissimilar people
more attractive. Falling in love for the long term may involve finding
someone you look more closely matched to, instead of going for the
lust-only phase of a relationship.
#7 Age. Another one of the reasons why we fall in
love is age. Although it isn’t something that a woman in her 40s likes
to hear, men are usually more attracted to the features that are
connected to younger girls.
Full lips, large eyes, and a smaller nose are usually
more attractive to men at any age. The reason is not that they are
younger per se, it is a biological trigger that men have to find women
to carry their seed.
Women of childbearing years may have more attractive
features than older women, but overall, it is the other factors that
usually win out. Men in their 60s might be attracted to girls in their
20s, but that rarely lasts long. Once they find that they have nothing
in common, the attraction fades quickly, as does the interest.
#8 Your personality. Studies done in Italy
concluded that your personality style might have something to do with
who you love. There are biological markers in the brain that make us
behave in specific ways.
These biological markers may make you more attracted to
someone who is similar to your own personality style. The problem is
that it is hard to decipher whether you love each other because you
think alike and have similar interests, or if it is something chemical
in nature.
#9 Chemistry. Your body is made of various
chemicals that can send out signals to the opposite sex. Things called
pheromones are released that give alarms to the opposite sex’s nose
about how attractive you are.
Each person has a different scent, and it may help to
increase how attractive you find someone. Does that make you fall in
love? Well, not really, but it may help to explain how you find the
person to love in the first place.
Why we fall in love remains a mystery. Yes, we can send
someone to the moon, make a self-driving car and soon probably cure most
illnesses. But the one thing that we may never be able to decipher for
sure is why two people love each other.
Whether you believe in a soul mate or just fate, you
have to believe that sometimes things are just meant to be. No amount of
experimentation can tell you for certain who you love, how long you
will love them, or whether your future with them will be bright.
While these are some of the reasons why we fall in
love, sometimes things just can’t be explained by science. Love is about
two people finding someone who makes them feel complete, typically when
they hadn’t even known something was missing to begin with.