Love is a strange emotion. It can bring us close and yet, at times it can push us further away. Balancing togetherness and space perfectly is not easy, but it’s worth the effort. Find out how to give space in a relationship and live happier.
Relationships can be confusing.
Sometimes it needs a lot of togetherness. And at some other times, relationships need space to grow.
Knowing how to give space in a relationship, and yet stay together is an art that every couple needs to learn.
Managing these perfectly is the difference between a perfect relationship and an imperfect one.
How to give space in a relationship
Happily ever after… This is where the story ends, the curtain comes down, the screen flickers and the credits roll.
But where the fairytale ends, life begins.
But seriously how happy is ‘happily ever after’? How real is the reel
life that glorifies just attaining the girl or the guy? Life is so much
more. It is also about keeping it together.
So you’ve found your prince charming, or won the hand of the lovely maiden.
But continuing to live happily after the fairy tale ends is another story.
And unless you pay attention to your relationship, you’ll realize
that there’s a thin line that prevents a happy fairy tale from becoming a
tragic tale.
Why do we need space in a relationship?
The best moments of our lives are the ones we’ve shared with someone
special. Some of the happiest memories you may have usually involves a
loved one. Life is always great if you have a special someone to share
it with. But then again, too much togetherness can ruin a perfect
relationship too. Keeping a relationship alive needs memories and
special moments. As much as it may be a couple thing, you need
individual memories and special moments too. To keep a relationship
fresh and exciting, you need to experience things separately and then
come together. This can certainly make you relish your togetherness
more.
Everybody needs space, and you need to know how to give space in a
relationship and accept space, even if only to take a breath. You can’t
be locked in a kiss forever. You have to come up for air. Love needs
space to grow.
Even saplings have to be planted with adequate space between them if
they have to take a firm root and grow strong. And when they grow, their
branches may intermingle to provide shade and beauty, but their roots
still need space.
The need for space in love
To have a perfect relationship with your partner, you and your partner need to understand how to give space in a relationship.
By doing that, you can also avoid the pain of having to hear your
loved one say the words that seem to ring like the death knell to your
relationship, “I want my space!”
But even if you ever heard your partner say that, don’t press the
panic button yet. “I want some time alone”, or “I need some space”, or
“I need to focus on my career”, are normal and valid cries for help
and not cries of rejection.
Your partner may be screaming for space in a relationship, even if
they don’t say it out loud. Does your partner enjoying doing things by
themselves, or do they prefer doing something together, with you? That
could reveal a lot about your partner’s personality and how independent
they are.
Balancing and giving space in a relationship
If you are in a relationship where both of your needs for intimacy
are at different levels, you’ve got some serious balancing to do.
Increasing intimacy in the relationship is necessary, but when a man and
a woman come together in a relationship and start a life together, they
give up their single lives as they have known it and start a new life
where they are no more separate but one in the eyes of everyone,
including the law.
During the honeymoon period of a relationship, the couple can
insulate themselves from the world and cozy up together. But they have
to come back to the real world and deal with their own issues and lives
soon. And this time, they have a partner around them all the time.
Moreover, no two people share the same need for togetherness. Neither
would they require the same levels or intensity of intimacy. Balancing
space in a relationship is an art, as fostering intimacy requires both
togetherness as well as separateness.
Knowing how to give space may be extremely difficult, especially at
the beginning. But considering the stakes and what you may stand to
lose, you should train yourself to become adept at this art. If this is
not rightly balanced out, one person becomes uncaring or unemotional and
the other person becomes needy or clingy in love.
Being close to each other and spending time is important, but to come
closer and become better individuals, you have to understand that
relationships need space to grow and bloom.
Giving space and living better lives
We love spending time with our partners, but there are always times
in every relationship when we just need to give some space to help each
other grow as individuals.
As close as both of you may be, sometimes too much of a good thing
isn’t such a great thing. The first step in learning to step back is to
remind oneself what we stand to lose, our own individuality. Knowing how
to give space in a relationship can help you balance your together time
and your own individuality.
Spending all the time together can bring both of you close, but can
damage your individuality. By sharing all the activities, you don’t
really know what you or your partner enjoys doing, nor can you both
evolve in your own paths as better lovers and people. You may not be
trapped in love, but you’d stagnate and have nothing new to offer.
True love is blind, some say, but true love too can get boring over
the years if neither of the partners have nothing new or unique to
share. And the closer you get to your partner, the more of your
individuality you will lose. Spend every single day with your lover, but
spare a day or a few hours for yourself in a week, and do what you
enjoy doing.
Giving too much space in a relationship
Can there be something as giving too much space in relationships?
Definitely! The dangers of too much space cannot be highlighted enough.
Too much space would entail both or one partner filling their lives to
the brim with other things and not maintaining a sense of connection.
This is a relationship that would soon be devoid of emotional
intimacy, or this would leave one partner with feelings of being taken
for granted and not cherished enough.
By understanding how to give space, beware of doing things that will
destroy the relationship, like forgetting important dates, coming home
late often, or ignoring your partner’s plea to spend time and hold the
relationship together.
So what’s the perfect balance in giving space?
There is no perfect formula here. But the idea is simple, spend as
much time as you want with your partner and let your partner do the
same. But at the same time, ask yourself what you’ve done by yourself
during the week. As long as you still have your own individuality and
don’t need your partner around all the time to help you or keep you
occupied, life is good.
Let go of that tightening hold on your partner who may be gasping for
space in the relationship, and focus on strengthening yourself. Learn
to find your happiness within you, because ultimately you are
responsible for finding your own happiness.
By learning how to give space in a relationship, you’d learn
to keep the excitement alive by becoming a better individual with your
own special qualities and memories. And as long as you have something
new to share with your lover, your relationship will stay happy and
exciting!
