With social media so focused on cute relationship goals, it’s easy to forget what really matters in a relationship. These are the real goals to have.
How many of you follow some type of relationship goals page on social
media? I, myself, follow about three separate accounts that highlight
what a successful relationship *looks* like.
I emphasize the word “looks” because these kinds of pages don’t touch
on the reality of the couples they depict through pictures. They simply
show you pictures of happy-looking couples, and you assume that their
relationship is perfect. But what about what it really takes to build
that kind of happiness?
Social media’s role in relationships
You may look at all of those social media accounts and think that
that’s what you need in order to be happy in your relationship. The
truth is that social media has ruined what a healthy and happy
relationship really looks like.
More and more people are reporting that social media actually causes
hardships in their relationships. You might be jealous that your
boyfriend isn’t acting like these Instagram boyfriends, or that your
girlfriend doesn’t do all of the things that those other girls online
are doing for their boyfriends.
The real relationship goals you need to have
Throw away all you’ve ever seen about “real” relationship goals.
Those photos of couples standing on a beach holding hands as the sun
sets over a mountainous horizon are not what makes for a happy
relationship.
These relationship goals are what you should have. This is what you
should strive for when it comes to your significant other. Just think
about what your grandparents valued in a relationship—those are the true
relationship goals, and here are our top 15 favorites.
#1 Having true trust. Forget about holding each
other’s hands overlooking a mountainous terrain. Real relationship goals
are being able to be at the top of that mountain and trusting that the
person you’re with would never let you fall over the edge. Trust is the
most important relationship goal that we all need, yet it is the most
forgotten.
#2 Being honest with each other. I’m not talking
about never, ever telling a little white lie. I’m talking about being
able to go to your partner and be honest about all of the big things in
life. Real relationship goals include being open and honest with your
partner about whatever you have to say, knowing that they’ll hear you
out every time.
#3 Open communication. I don’t care how many cutesy
pictures you take and post online, if you can’t communicate how you
feel, then your relationship is doomed. Ultimate relationship goals
include being able to openly speak your mind and tell your partner how
you feel about anything.
#4 Caring about each other’s safety. In order to
have a healthy and happy relationship, you have to feel safe and
protected by your partner. This is definitely one of my relationship
goals, because if I didn’t feel this way with someone, how could I ever
let loose and enjoy myself? Caring about someone’s safety is caring
about their life.
#5 Caring about one another’s happiness more than your own. If
my boyfriend ever came to the conclusion that he would be happier with
someone else, I would let him go. It would obviously be extremely
painful to me, but I care about his happiness more than my own. When
your partner’s happiness means more than yours, that’s when you know
it’s real.
#6 Reserving time to spend together. Sometimes,
spending time together doesn’t come naturally— you need to make the
time. Real relationship goals means reserving special date nights to
spend with each other so that you never forget how to enjoy each other’s
company.
#7 Reserving time to spend apart. Every relationship
needs to have time to miss each other. Your relationship goals should
include knowing this and being able to make time for yourself. It’s
okay—and actually very healthy—not to always be right with your partner
every second of every day.
#8 Enjoying spending time with each other’s friends. You
spend the majority of your time with your significant other, but you
spend the rest of your time either alone or with your friends. If your
relationship goals include spending a healthy amount of time with both
of your friend groups, then you’re absolutely on the right track to a
happy relationship.
#9 Caring for each other’s family as your own. I
care about my boyfriend’s family as if they were my own. I care about
their safety and wellbeing just as much as I do for my own family, and I
would hope that he feels the same.
Relationship goals are knowing that whomever you’re with will not
only care about you, but care about your family as well, especially if
they see themselves eventually becoming a part of your family.
#10 Supporting each other’s dreams. Now, your dreams and aspirations are the driving force that make you happy in life and that motivate you to do what you love.
You need someone there to support those dreams because without
support, you will feel defeated and may even give up. Your relationship
goals should include supporting each other’s lifelong aspirations.
#11 Being able to argue. Arguing is not the same
thing as getting into actual fights, mind you. Arguing is voicing an
opinion that doesn’t necessarily match your partner’s.
Arguing should be a part of your relationship goals because it not
only helps you to understand how the other person thinks and feels, but
it also strengthens your relationship. You can be two different people
and still have a successful relationship.
#12 Working as a team. When you’re in a committed
relationship, you now have to work as a team to accomplish what you want
in life, and to help your partner succeed in what he or she strives to
do.
You take on someone else’s goals, support them when they need it, and
help them see their goals become a reality. That’s real relationship
goals.
#13 Being best friends. My boyfriend is absolutely
my best friend. He has been for three years before we even got together,
which just made the transition to Couplesville that much easier.
Real relationship goals means being in love with your best friend.
You enjoy their company, want to share everything with them, and want to
have fun together—just like two best friends should. [
#14 Keeping your promises to each other. Breaking
promises is the fastest way to lose someone’s trust. Relationship goals
means knowing that when your partner promises something, they’ll follow
through with it. On the flipside, it also means that you will keep your
promises when you make them.
#15 Loving each other at your worst. Whether that
means makeup-free, hair a mess, sick as dog, or when you’re a complete
grump who just spews out insults at every turn, real relationship goals
are being able to love each other at your worst. Nobody is perfect, and
you have to know that even if you’re being a terrible person, you’ve
still got someone to stand by your side.
Forget everything you think you know about relationship
goals. These are the real relationship goals that you really need to
have in order to have a happy and successful partnership together.
