Do you secretly find yourself feeling lonely in your relationship? You don’t have to feel guilty, because you aren’t alone. Understand it, and fix it!
Most people believe that once you’re in a serious relationship, you
will never feel lonely again. How could you possibly feel alone when
you’ve got someone on your side loving, supporting and motivating you?
Yet, many people often feel more secluded in serious relationships,
as time and change can put pressure on your bond and lead you to feel
distant from your partner.
People become lonely in relationships for many different reasons but
most often, it has to do with feeling disconnected from their partner.
Once a person becomes disconnected, the loneliness begins to seep into
their lives, and cause them to feel upset and unloved.
Why do you feel lonely in your relationship?
#1 It’s very common to feel lonely if you feel emotionally or physically ignored
by your partner. If you don’t believe that your needs are being met,
and that perhaps your partner doesn’t care anymore, it is extremely easy
to feel alone in a relationship.
This can be related to feeling unloved and undervalued, and being
insecure in the partnership. It can also creep in if you start to
believe that your sexual needs aren’t being met. And this in turn, can
cause loneliness and create an invisible barrier between partners.
#2 Sometimes, we can also become lonely when we long for someone or something else.
If you don’t really know what you want in a relationship, then you
won’t be fully happy and fulfilled. You must pinpoint what it is you
want and need from a relationship in order to fully embrace and engage
with your significant other.
Do you have some of the same interests and morals? Can you agree on
important things? If not, maybe you and your partner aren’t as fit for
each other as you believed, and that is causing you to long for
something different.
#3 Loneliness also occurs when communication is not open and honest.
You need to talk to your partner, and let them know how you’re feeling.
Maybe your partner doesn’t realize you’re feeling unloved, or
unsatisfied. Mind reading is not a common skill, and by stalling
communication, you won’t help the situation.
#4 Relationships involve two individuals, and if one of those individuals is going through a difficult phase
in their life, it may create some distance. If you feel disconnected
from your partner because of this, you should strive to find how you
could work together through this time. Be patient, and continue to be
supportive of each other.
When one, or several of these things happen to your relationship, you
can eat, sleep, and live with your partner but still feel unengaged and
inactive in the relationship. While the feeling of loneliness can start
off small, if it’s not dealt with soon, it can grow to a crushing level
that can eventually end a relationship altogether.
What can you do to stop feeling lonely?
It is important to do a number of things when you’re starting to feel
lonely in your relationship, and the following can help you start
mending the disconnect you’re feeling.
#1 Talk to your partner. The absolute first thing you should
do is talk to your partner about your feelings, and the concerns you
have with your relationship. Tell them that you have been feeling lonely
lately, and express the reasons that you think this may be.
If you don’t start by expressing your feelings to your partner, it
will be difficult to find and address the root of the problem.
Relationships that have open and consistent communication often have
fewer issues.
#2 Don’t isolate yourself. Loneliness can be a perpetual cycle
as it leads to you further closing yourself off to the people around
you, causing you to feel even lonelier. If you’re feeling alone in your
relationship, resist the temptation to hibernate in yourself, and your
secluded routine. If all you really want to do is curl up with a book or
watch a movie, don’t. Get out of the house, and be around other people.
#3 Keep busy. If you’re feeling lonely and all you really want
to do is nothing, make the effort to get busy. Sign yourself up for a
new cooking class, or online course. Take on a new project at work, or
volunteer at an organization in your city.
Do something other than spending time alone doing nothing. If you’re
busy, it’s easier to forget that you were feeling lonely as other things
occupy your mind. It’s also rewarding when you accomplish something
new!
#4 Meet new people. Not only should you get out of the house
and keep busy, you should also try to meet new people. New friendships
can often stimulate inspiration and motivation in our lives. When we
meet someone with a great skill or an interesting passion, it’s easier
to become rejuvenated. Human relationships are an essential part of
life, and if you can meet people that share your interests, it will do a
lot of good to overcome your loneliness.
#5 Be nice to yourself. Just because you’re feeling lonely in
your relationship and experiencing some challenges in your life, doesn’t
mean you need to become hard on yourself. We all go through rough
patches, and you need to remember to be kind to yourself, and offer
words of encouragement instead of self-diminishing.
#6 Talk to someone. If you’re feeling lonely and you’re not
sure what the next step is, you should start by talking to someone you
trust. It will be difficult to move forward from the emotion and
seclusion if you don’t first reach outside yourself. If you don’t feel
like your partner is the one to talk to, then you could approach a close
friend or family member. If that also doesn’t seem possible, then why
not reach out to a professional?
Sharing your experience is often liberating as you discover that many
people experience the same emotions. You can gain some advice from
talking about your issues, and you’ll find it easier than dealing with
it all by yourself.
#7 Find out what the root problem is. In a relationship,
loneliness is caused by something else that’s going on between you and
your partner. The only true solution to loneliness is uprooting the main
cause of the emotion. Once you do that, you can work towards cutting
the cause off at the source, and hopefully leaving loneliness in the
past.
Many of us feel lonely in relationships. It can be caused by a number
of things, but generally it has to do with feeling disconnected from
your partner and/or yourself. You should communicate your loneliness to
the people you trust in your life, and talk it through with your
partner. If you don’t address the true causes, you will continue to
cycle through the emotion and feel as though you are always alone in the
world.
Don’t feel ashamed or guilty if you feel lonely in your
relationship. Address it, try to understand why you’re feeling it, and
fix it using these ways. After all, suppressing it will never make
loneliness go away!
