There are crucial differences between men and women. Understanding them may help to save you from a lifetime of arguments, or even a breakup.
There was a book that came out more than two decades ago called Men are From Mars Women are From Venus. Revolutionary, it was the first time that anyone formally came to the conclusion that men and women are inherently different.
Spare the women-libbers who spent their early twenties burning their
bras, there aren’t many who wouldn’t agree that by and large, the sexes
not only speak a different language, but they also view the world around
them in very opposing ways.
It isn’t just our spatial abilities or verbal understanding that are
the cornerstone of the difference between us. The older I get, the more I
understand that, on the whole, not only are we mostly all alike
gender-wise, but we all also have the same struggles in our
relationships.
When you are first starting out in a long-term relationship, you
never imagined it would be so hard to get along. As time goes on, you
begin to see predictable patterns of behavior that can either complement
each other or tear each other apart.
The differences between men and women
There are some major differences between men and women that, when you
look at them separately, understand the reaction and behavior that
results from them, and can let your better half be your better half,
don’t have to mean a fiery end to your relationship. These are the major
differences that if you can just accept and learn to let go, you can
live much happier ever after in harmony.
#1 Men can only focus on one thing at a time, whereas women can multitask. If
you give a man more than one task, he will either have ten projects
started and never finished, or he will only do one at a time. Not being
able to put his focus into more than one thing at a time, he gets
flustered easily, and irritated even more easily, at the slightest
distraction. Women, on the other hand, can work on ten different
projects at once. They can go from one task to the next and pick up
where they left off with ease.
Problems can arise when a guy turns inward rather than being able to
deal with multiple problems at once. When he becomes muddled down with
something, he is unable to see anything else that is going on around
him. Even if the kids are crying and falling apart, the house is
seemingly on fire, and his wife is at her wit’s end, he can just sit at
the computer and not notice anything else.
It’s important to realize that he most likely isn’t doing it on
purpose. He’s just not wired to pay attention to everything going on
around him when he’s engrossed in another project.
#2 Men show love, whereas women voice love. When a
woman is in love with someone, she can’t stop gushing over it. Wanting
to text and talk about her latest crush all day, she can’t vocalize her
emotions enough. A guy is not the same. When he is in love with a woman,
he won’t tell everyone around him. Instead, he will “do” things for
her. If you notice that a guy has changed your washer fluid without
being asked to, or if he’s taken the garbage out without being told to,
that means he loves you.
Problems can arise when men become overwhelmed by the outpouring of
love that a woman bestows on them with words. Not knowing how to voice
their own emotions, men often get quiet in response. If you realize that
a woman is wired to communicate in a verbal way, while a man is wired
to protect and help the lady he loves, that will make it much easier to
spot the signs of love on both ends.
#3 Men are typically visual creatures when it comes to sex—women, not so much. Most
women get very offended to find that their man has been blowing up
their computer watching porn. No matter how much a guy insists that he
doesn’t watch it, he does. Men are very visual creatures when it comes
to sex. They need the fantasy more than most women do, and become turned
on by seeing sexual acts.
Women are more focused on the emotional side of a sexual act. To get
in the mood, they need a good mix of erotica and some form of emotional
connection. It isn’t that women don’t get excited by porn, but rather,
they just need more than the visual experience.
If you want to stop the arguing about his porn-watching habits, try
making your own sex tapes and send them to him. Likely, if you give him
movies of you, he will get just as turned on watching you do naughty
things as he does when he watches porn. If you want to get your woman in
the mood, cover her with kisses and praise for all she does for you.
Emotionally stimulate her.
#4 Women are concerned about the emotions and feelings of others, whereas men are concerned about their hunger and basic needs. Women spend a good majority of their time worrying
about their children, their husband, the neighbor, some person they
read about in the paper, what their friend meant with their passive
aggressive comment the other day, what their mother-in-law was trying to
get at when she made the remark about her cooking, and that is all in
one moment’s time. A guy worries about what he is going to have for
lunch and whether his wife is going to be in a good mood so that maybe
he can have sex.
A woman is always on edge with reason. She believes that the weight
of the world rests on her shoulders. That is a lot of stress to handle.
In the reverse, a guy worries about very little. He can’t look at a
situation and think, “That is going to go badly.” In fact, he barely
looks at any situation unless it is right in his face. That can leave a
woman feeling like she wants to explode on a guy for seemingly no reason
at all.
The answer is for a guy to realize that a woman can’t always handle
all that the world and her brain puts on her plate. The reason why she
seems pissed all the time *and at you* is because she has no other place
for her displaced anger.
Unfortunately, sometimes you have to have thick shoulders and realize
she may need your help. As a woman, it is important for you to
understand that he isn’t upsetting you on purpose. He has no idea about
all the nonsense that is going on in your mind. He can’t see the worry,
the anxiety, or the stress that you’re constantly enduring.
Knowing why men and women do what they do, where the disconnect is,
and trying not to ascribe intention to what your mate does can help you
get along much better with your better half.
Women can’t help the way that they are wired any more than
men can, but by helping each other better understand your needs and
wants in life, the two of you can certainly live in blissful harmony
together.
