Am I ready for a relationship? When you’ve been badly hurt it can take years to move on. Here’s what you should ask before diving back into a relationship.
There are a lot of people out there who’ve been badly hurt by an
ex-lover. They put their heart out on the line, and unfortunately, they
got burned. I think we’ve all been there before. I personally relate to
this on a couple different levels. It left me wondering, am I ready for a
relationship again?
The hardest thing for these whose heart has been stomped on is
getting back into a relationship. We’re all hesitant and reluctant to do
so because we don’t want to be hurt again—for obvious reasons.
The importance of mending a broken heart before getting into a relationship
You should never go into a new relationship with a broken heart. It
may seem like the new person can heal it for you. In reality, you only
prolong mending it, which actually means it’ll take longer to fix.
Mending your broken heart should always be a priority before going
into a new relationship because you can’t expect your new boyfriend or
girlfriend to fix it. That’s way too much pressure on them, and you’ll
ultimately ruin the relationship from the start.
Am I ready for a relationship?
Before you decide the answer to this question, discover a few things
about yourself first. It can be easy to jump to a different conclusion
based on how you’re feeling in the moment. Take some time to decide if
it’s right for you.
If you’re thinking about whether or not you’re ready for a
relationship, there are a lot of different factors you have to consider.
Here are all the things to discover for yourself before determining if
you’re ready to make another commitment.
#1 Are you over your ex? This question hits a lot of
us like a ton of bricks because, usually, we try not to think about our
exes at all. We prefer to keep our feelings for them buried deep
inside.
However, if you really want to know if you’re ready for a
relationship, explore if you’re over your ex. You can’t start a new
relationship on the basis of having feelings for your ex.
#2 Are you just bored? A lot of people make the
mistake of thinking they want a relationship when really they’re just
super bored with their life and want some entertainment.
Newsflash, another human being isn’t for your entertainment. You have
to find out if you’re bored with your life and that’s why you’re
thinking about seeking out another relationship. If you’re just bored,
don’t get into a relationship.
#3 Do you do things for yourself? A lot of people
might think this question to be a strange one to ask yourself but it’s
not if you think about it. How much do you do for yourself?
Do you take care of yourself, eat healthy, workout, have a
stimulating hobby, read books? If the answer to those is no, then you’re
not ready for a relationship. How can you work to improve the life of
someone else when you haven’t even done so with yourself?
#4 Do you know what went wrong in your last relationship? Discovering
the core problem in your last relationship and where things went south
helps determine if you’re ready for a new relationship. If you don’t
know what it is, you need more time to figure it out to avoid those
issues in your future relationships.
#5 Do you have any fun hobbies? Hobbies are vital
for people to function and be happy. If you’ve just determined you don’t
really have any hobbies that make you feel alive, you’re not ready for a
relationship. You need to have something that involves you and catches
your interest before trying to seek that out in another person.
#6 Did you learn anything from your last relationship? Every
failed relationship has a lesson underneath the surface. Sometimes
those lessons are all the same thing. You have to discover what you
learned from your previous relationship before entering into a new one.
#7 Are you happy by yourself? Are you happy with
your life and with who you are right in this moment? If you answered no,
then you’re not ready for a relationship. You have to be happy by
yourself before you can expect to find happiness with someone else.
#8 Are you looking for someone to make you happy? Is
your whole purpose for deciding if you’re ready for a new relationship
to cheer yourself up or just to make yourself happy in general?
If so, then you are REALLY not ready for a relationship. Being in a
relationship isn’t for the purpose of making you happy. If you think it
is, you have a long way to go before you’re ready.
#9 Did something dramatic just happen in your life? Sometimes when something dramatic happens in our lives we reevaluate things and make drastic decisions.
If something rather serious happened to you lately, you’re not ready
for a new relationship. If one dramatic thing happened, it’s likely more
will soon follow. It also means you’re not in a clear mindset because
those types of things sometimes rattle us. Wait it out.
#10 Do you know who you are? I realize this is a
heavily weighted question, but it is a necessary one to decipher whether
or not you’re ready for a relationship. Truthfully speaking, do you
know who you are as a person? Do you know what you want in life? What
your morals and values are?
These are all vital things to know about yourself before beginning a
life with someone else. Without knowing these, you can’t expect that
someone else will be able to know them either.
#11 Do you know why you want a relationship? Have you sat down and asked yourself what your recent curiosity is with whether or not you’re ready for a new relationship?
If you haven’t yet, just ponder that. Is it because it’s expected of
you? Is it because you now feel complete in your own life, and you want
to share it with someone? Depending on the answer, you could be ready
for a relationship.
#12 Do you have time to invest in a relationship? Relationships
are no joke and they take time in order to make them work properly. Too
many relationships go bad because one person didn’t have the time
needed to invest in a relationship.
Do you have the time? If you’re someone that’s always on the go, how
can you expect to make a relationship work out in a healthy way? Decide
if you’re ready to spend a lot of your free time with someone else
before deciding if you’re actually ready for a relationship.
Determining whether or not you’re ready for a relationship is
one of the most important things you decide about yourself. With our
help, you’ll be able to know for sure what you’re ready for.
