Have relationships evolved over
time? You bet! Modern relationships are fast-paced and you don’t hear
about courting as much. So what exactly are they now?
One thing that you’ll usually hear your grandparents *or even
parents* complain about is how the young’uns do their dating nowadays.
You know that line that starts with “Back in the day, we did this and
not that” that will usually be followed by a litany of comparisons on
how “disgraceful” modern relationships ended up. Well, sorry, Grandpa,
we ain’t havin’ no courtin’ nowadays.
What’s new in modern relationships
It’s no surprise that the rules of dating and relationships have
changed. With changing lifestyles and the introduction of
technology, the way people choose and acquire a potential partner will
not be the same the way our parents did it.
But to those not too old to have gotten a glimpse of old school
relationships yet young enough to embrace the modern times, here are the
things you observe about modern relationships.
#1 Courtship is almost non-existent. The meaning of
courtship has different meanings depending on what culture you belong.
Generally speaking, it is the period of romantic activity often
initiated by men prior to asking for the woman’s hand for marriage.
Others consider courtship as that period of limited dating before
becoming an item. Nowadays, you start as friends, you date, and you
become a couple. No more formal dinner introduction to parents and
chaperoned dates. Maybe the closest thing to courtship we have now is
“hanging out.”
#2 The Definition of a “Relationship” has become blurry.
Before, you either were single or dating. Nowadays it is common to hear
young people call their relationship in some kind of category from a
list so long that we can’t put it here.
While it sounds baffling to people from the older generation, young
couples pay less attention to the rules and labels that governed typical
romantic relationships. Maybe that’s why “it’s complicated.”
#3 More people are turning to online dating to find a partner.
In this day where dating apps such as Tinder, OkCupid, or Hinge are the
thing, finding a date in those 2000s era dating websites is even
considered obsolete. This actually makes sense given that almost
everyone owns a smartphone. We spend a lot of time in the digital world.
Compare that to the time when people met their life partners in the
form of a childhood friend or a co-worker on your first job and online
dating was thought to be reserved for people with poor social skills.
Nowadays, online dating is considered normal and is even applauded for its convenience.
#4 Breaking up with someone has become easier. While this fact is not totally good news, it is one of the implications of easily finding partners through dating apps.
Years ago, couples broke up face to face in restaurants or in the
privacy of their apartments. Now you easily break up with someone over
text. Horrible, yeah. Well, this awful convenience leads to point five.
#5 Young people date more partners in their lifetime.
If you start young, you collect a lot along the way. However, with the
advent of online dating and portable dating apps, it also makes it
easier to find a new partner and move on to the next. Modern
relationships have become like buying a car that needs a test drive
before committing one’s self to it.
#5 Being single is absolutely fine. Back in the day your parents would definitely worry if you remained single past your thirties.
In modern relationships, being single is not only normal, it’s even a
personal choice. Maybe that’s because women nowadays have careers too
and not just wait to get married.
#6 More couples delaying marriage at a later age.
Try to ask your parents when they were married and try to ask a young
professional when they intend to settle down and you’ll get what we
mean. People from the older generation consider the early 20s as the
ideal age to marry.
Younger people, especially college-educated professionals, often
focus on their careers. They are content to have a romantic relationship
for the meantime before considering tying the knot.
#7 Marriage has become optional. As mentioned, it’s
not as if people don’t want to get married. Not only that they tend to
move it to a later time of their life, their view of marriage has become
more secular than those from the older generation.
We all know that people from the older generation had a conservative
view of marriage and tend to get married first before moving further.
Nowadays, it is common to see unmarried partners living together and
even having kids before deciding to get married.
#8 Sex is more awesome. The trend for modern
relationships is that they have sex early in the relationship, they have
sex often, and they have kinkier sex.
Changing social attitudes towards sex is primarily the reason for
this difference. With sex being marketed all over the media and the
liberalization of views towards sex, people have become more
experimental.
#9 Same-sex dating and marriages. It has happened.
Love wins. While we are still years away from full public acceptance of
same-sex unions, it is pretty common to see two males and two females
holding hands and showing their affection in public.
Maybe this has happened years in the past in small numbers and in
utmost secrecy but what’s new in modern relationships is that more same
sex couples find the courage to be open to make their relationship
public.
What stayed the same
#10 Modern relationships still value financial stability.
While you can still date a struggling, broke artist with all his
artistic integrity, you will not date them for long if they still
struggle and are broke two years after.
While money isn’t everything, even modern day relationships are still
realistic enough to place an importance in financial security as a
deciding factor in choosing a romantic partner. Because “adulting” means
you also pay the bills.
#11 Most people still meet their future partners through a common friend.
While online dating is taking over the dating scene, nothing beats the
reliability and the romantic flair of meeting someone through a common
friend. This set-up is effective because it ensures that both parties
have a lynch pin to keep hanging out and get to know each other.
While some things stayed the same, a lot has changed. To
summarize what modern relationships have become, it became fast and
convenient.
