Most of the time, I’m pretty good at loving myself. I know I’m the shit and sometimes I can really feel that and know it’s true. But other times, this inner mean girl voice starts spewing venom at me, and I tell myself big fat lies that simply aren’t true. Here are some of the ones that plague me most:
- I am not enough just the way I am. (I have to do more/be more/accomplish more in order to be lovable.)
- I should have known better (duh, Lissa).
- I am damaged goods (2 divorces will do that for you).
- I don’t belong (can they tell I’m really an imposter?).
- The way to be successful is to beat myself up so I stay motivated.
- When I finally get or achieve [fill in the blank], then I’ll be happy.
- Self love is narcissistic.
- If I say no, people won’t love me.
We tend to be so freakin’ hard on ourselves! And what good does this do?
Fortunately, we have a remedy. I’m so proud to introduce you to my friend Amy Ahler’s fabulous new book Big Fat Lies Women Tell Themselves: Ditch Your Inner Critic And Wake Up Your Inner Superstar.
Amy’s book identifies the 59 big fat lies women most frequently tell themselves. I read part of this book while getting a pedicure, and I was reading the big fat lies out loud while all the women in the salon were nodding and smacking themselves upside the head. Turns out these lies are all too familiar to way too many people.
Big Fat Lie Examples
- I am unlovable.
- I don’t measure up.
- I am powerless.
- It’s too late for me.
- I’m a failure.
- I’m supposed to be further along than I am.
- If I get too happy, something bad will happen.
- If I only had enough money, everything would be okay.
- I need another to complete me.
- If I forgive, I condone.
- If I just get small enough, others won’t feel bad or jealous.
- They’ll hate me if I [fill in the blank].
- It’s more important to be polite than to be authentic.
Sound familiar? Oh yeah. We all have that inner mean girl voice (I call it “the Gremlin.”) I guarantee you that you could choose any person – and no matter how successful, powerful, talented, brilliant, beautiful, loved, spiritual, or wealthy she is, these thoughts flit through her mind and torture her from time to time.
Good News For Superstars Everywhere
So what can we do about these voices? In her book, life coach Amy Ahlers lists the most common big fat lies, so you can read through them all and find the ones that apply to you. Then she offers you practical tips and exercises aimed at helping you banish these big fat lies so you can improve your self esteem, love yourself more, and wake up your inner superstar.
Each big fat lie comes with a truth about the lie, a challenge you can do at home to help you quiet the lie, an affirmation to help you change your thinking, and an inspiring quote related to the lie. It’s like a year’s worth of life coaching or a week-long workshop in one little book.
So go out. Grab this book. Quiet those big fat lies and use the exercises in this book to transform them into affirmations of self love, self esteem, happiness, and bliss.
Yes, you deserve that. And I wouldn’t lie about something so important. When we choose to love ourselves instead of beating ourselves up, we model how others should treat us. It’s a choice. What do you choose?
Do You Love Yourself?
Do you beat yourself up with big fat lies? Or do you have the tools for turning those lies into affirming truths? Tell us your stories.
Loving you, just the way you are,