I am passionate about creating ultimate experiences and I had an opportunity to attend an exclusive Platinum Member event that was hosted by Tony Robbins a year and a half ago. I was there to assist Esther Perel in a workshop that we ran for over 130 people as one of the segments of the 6 day event. I have never been to a Tony Robbins event before so I had no idea what I was getting myself into.
The topic was around how to have a fulfilling relationship and get the love you are looking for. It was in one word: magical. Tony is a master and his brilliance was a spectacle worth experiencing. It was a mixture of rock concert, spiritual awakening, resort living and adrenaline pumping tunes. I danced, cried, sat in awe, thought and ideated. I felt like I was immersed into the Tony Robbins universe, we were in Scotland but we could have been anywhere. Besides seeing the men dressed in Kilts at a formal dinner and having a castle be the backdrop to two evening meals I kept forgetting where we were. Scotland played a role in the production but it was by no means the main event. Tony was, and boy is he ever, THE main event. At this event you felt that he was personally observing everyone and everything with such intent that his presence is the horse power driving the group forward. He doesn’t stop often and it was commonplace for the day’s events to spill well into the early morning hours and dinner was often a forgotten memory. Hours swirled into each other at such a rapid rate that you lost sense of the day or hour. It didn’t seem to matter and everyone was a willing and active participant in going with Tony’s flow.
As a studier of people doing this work I have to say that Tony is someone who has found and embraced his gift. He is also using it to help people live up to their true potential. His language is directed towards the individual who is super ambitious and thirsty for growth and success. His approach is more football coach then spiritual guru but when he looks you in the eye and asks you what is bothering you he takes on the empathy of a doting mother. People opened their hearts and shared their deepest fears in front of the other 130 people as readily as one would rattle off a grocery list. He creates a safe space and people share. This is one of his clear messages, support others, listen and learn. When someone stands up to share a challenge, nobody will go anywhere until they feel that they have some completion on their questions. Even if it’s midnight and you have not eaten in 7 hours. You stay and you support.
The other experience that Tony provides is giving you many “zone” moments. You know what I mean when I say that right? For me this often happens when I am working out and I feel like I could run 100 miles and my heart is bursting with excitement. I feel amazing! Tony Robbins creates these moments and they are inserted sporadically throughout the experience. These “zone” moments are used as a tool to provoke breakthroughs. Tony believes that breakthrough moments are an opportunity for real change. When you have an epiphany or awakening you can either step through it or not. If you do not step through it, you miss it. He creates this through using inspirational talk, music and challenging questions, like “do you want to be half-assed in life?” Nobody in attendance to one of these events is going to agree with that statement. He also has catch phrases and the audience finishes some of this key sentences, and he repeats these often. He will say that the repetition is part of the process of change. It also bonds the crowd; they chant, dance and allow their bodies to feel the change as they mouth the words. At times this aspect seemed a bit strange but then you realize its all part of getting people to believe in the possibility. These moments allow one to go to a place of euphoria and self-belief that they cannot do on their own. Take that feeling away and make change in your life. That is the recipe.
Beyond the experience he also shares tool after tool as if he is throwing out candy. While this conference was about relationships there is always an undercurrent of encouragement to live life to the fullest and be your best in every aspect of your life. Tony’s signature course is “Date with Destiny” and “Unleash the Power Within.” His sweet spot is motivating you to wake the f*ck up. In fact he suggested to everyone. “Right now, write a wake-the-f*ck-up list and review it everyday.” He comes up with some of this on the fly and then laughs, “this is good stuff, write it down.” I did and he suggests this for your list:
- You can’t influence someone when you are judging them
- Connect with what is real
- Don’t move someone if you are not moved
- Go first to break the cycle, lovers lead
These are amazing nuggets of advice, a carefully crafted list that is a by-product of all that Tony reads, blended and served in a way that makes sense and in a direct manner. I love this list.
There was also a lot of great relationship advice and Esther Perel’s talk and workshop was the secret layer of cream frosting hidden in the cake that Tony Robbins served up to his participants. Her ideas were different but so complimentary that you left with your ideas on love changed and expanded. They were brilliant together. Tony was very clear and in agreement that closeness kills desire and tolerance for uncertainty correlates to passion. The more uncertainty, the more passion. He also talked a lot about attraction and the necessity of the masculine and feminine polarity. That polarity needs to exist in order to kick-start attraction. Many couples can be in love and not attracted because they are too close and they have lost polarity by taking on roles that create too much of one dimension. One very common one being care-taking. Not hot.
Such topics as: How to own a woman/man, understanding the sexual drive around a woman’s menstrual cycle, communicating your needs, gratitude, manifesting the partner you desire, giving first, and how to attain connection and passion were just some of the main topics discussed. Tony inserted pole dancing for the women and fight classes for men to get them tapped into their inner animal. A wonderful sex educator came and gave classes for the women and men separately on sexual anatomy and skills. Esther’s workshop was all about learning about ones erotic mind and turn ons for men and women. The six day conference was a cornucopia of learning, stimulation and fun.
I came away thinking that Tony and Sage (his loving wife) who partners with him on stage to discuss relationship advice, are doing amazing things for people. I would encourage all readers to learn more about Tony Robbins and if a conference comes to your hometown, check it out. If you want to get fired up and are a super ambitious person who needs some tough love and have a secret desire to walk on coals (something he does in one of his conferences) go for it! I can’t imagine you will be disappointed… he puts on a fantastic show.