We are giving away a copy of 7 Keys to Lifelong Sexual Vitality, by Dr. Brian R. Clement & Dr. Anna Maria Clement. Check out these eight tips on how to sustain your sex life, and then leave a comment for a chance to win your own copy of this book!
Eight Ways to Keep Sex Interesting
An Excerpt from 7 Keys to Lifelong Sexual Vitality, by Dr. Brian R. Clement & Dr. Anna Maria Clement
1. Plan for spontaneity. This might sound like a contradiction in terms, but don’t underestimate the power of scheduling your sexual encounters, yet leaving the details of what you intend to do open and subject to your spontaneous passion and combined imaginations. While single, you may have called these encounters a date, which is a ritual worth practicing even when you’re married.
2. Create adventures. Doing new things together that you find exciting can stimulate deeper levels of bonding that can lead to a more exciting sex life. You don’t have to jump out of airplanes together, though that might be worth trying, and you don’t have to visit nude beaches, though that might be fun, too. You could learn ballroom dancing or even how to tango together. Just do something outside of your routine to help bring you closer together.
3. Make foreplay more promiscuous. Real foreplay isn’t just about preparing each other for the sexual act. It’s about building up desire over time, touch by touch. Show your affection toward each other in your everyday contact. A touch on the neck, a light kiss on the hand or forehead, a suggestive look or wink, even something as simple as making dinner together can all amp up the sexual voltage.
4. Use “oral” sex with each other. We all know what oral sex is, or at least we think we do. But before you actually go down on each other, try talking and listening to each other with a new level of intimacy. Share your fantasies, however forbidden they might feel. An intimate dialogue can be just as sexy as the act itself because your imagination is doing the lovemaking.
5. Develop sensual rituals. To transition between our normal routines and our professional and family roles in life, we need rituals that can bring us through the door of intimacy. Sharing a shower together is one tension breaker. Giving each other a massage can be another. Even reading to each other, especially if it’s sensual or sexually provocative literature, can help you bridge the gap between feeling obligations and expressing intimacy.
6. Keep pride in your appearance. You probably know how easy it is to let the little things slide and for complacency to set in. He forgets to shave or no longer thinks that it’s important. She thinks wearing jeans or a sweatshirt all the time is okay. Even basic hygiene can sometimes go by the wayside in long-term relationships. Never take your appearance for granted! To be sexy and feel sexy, you always need pride in how you look.
7. Go somewhere new. We all know how vacations sometimes bring out desires and feelings that were wilting away in the background of our lives. Take short trips, a night or a weekend, and go somewhere new and stimulating to break the routine. Variety is indeed the spice of life, and the more you experiment with new settings, the fresher your sexual connection can feel.
8. Don’t forget fantasy. The most powerful aphrodisiac is found in our imaginations, and we should use that tool for sexual intimacy whenever we can. Try playing different roles with each other. You could even go to a restaurant and pretend that you don’t know each other. Try to pick each other up using a different persona. By acting out these roles, you might discover some new and exciting aspect of yourself or your partner.