Monday, April 1, 2013

Newly Single This Spring ??!!

Newly Single This Spring - break up
Rather than get depressed about it, take this opportunity to dive back into the game & meet some fresh faces. Or, take the time to enjoy some long missed quality time with your friends.

In love, sometimes we hit a rough patch from which we just can’t bounce back. When dealing with the emotional responsibility of a relationship, sometimes the damage is too detrimental  and both parties need to take separate paths, either temporarily or for good. And so, you may find yourself newly single this Spring!

Rather than get depressed about it, take this opportunity to dive back into the game & meet some fresh faces. Or, take the time to enjoy some long missed quality time with your friends. Here are some helpful tips to help you get your head back in the game and avoid the bitter break up blues that everyone dreads.

Remove Him / Her From Your Timeline
You were once Facebook BFF’s, who would post cute little notes all over each other’s walls, making your single friends want to vomit. And since the break-up, you can’t help but want to check their profile to see if they found someone new. If they didn’t, you feel powerful knowing the break up is making them hibernate into recovery mode. If they did? You feel jealous, angry, hurt, etc. These emotions can stew and simmer, coming to a boiling point very quickly if they aren’t dealt with immediately. To put it simply, you need to take that possibility away. REMOVE THEM!

This goes for all other social media outlets too. If you can’t stand to see what they are up to, simply hide their posts. If you find yourself going to their profile constantly, send them a little note saying that you think it’s best if you aren’t Facebook friends for a bit. A lot of us are scared to take that leap with our social networks. It’s almost like unfriending someone on Facebook is harder than unfriending someone in real life these days. But a little honesty with yourself and your former partner in this situation will go a long way – he or she will most likely agree that parting ways on-line will be a great way to ease both your transitions into the single life. Besides, you can always get back in touch after enough time has passed and you’re ready to be friends.

Take Time For Yourself, But Not Too Much
You are definitely going to need some time to relax and mentally prepare yourself before you get back in the game. But there is a fine line between taking time to yourself and becoming a hermit. Don’t cross that line! Give yourself a time limit to do things just for you. Maybe a bubble bath with wine, or maybe get that new tattoo you’ve been dreaming up for a while. But you also need to keep in mind what is most important during this time: friendship.  During relationships sometimes it’s challenging to make time for your friends, especially when the only time you might get to see your significant other is on the weekends. So what were once beautiful friendships and crazy club nights were abandoned in favor of your lover. Get those friendships off the back burner and rekindle the emotional bond you share with your bff’s by having a spontaneous girl’s night or spa day followed by a night at the club. Dance like no one’s watching and let your friends be the ones to take you home at night. For guys needing friendship after a break up, go out for a bike ride with your buds, or maybe take a weekend camping trip to have a few beers and enjoy life.

Getting Back In The Game
It may take a while for you to put yourself back out there and meet a new interest, or it may take no time at all. There is no right or wrong answer when it comes to the timing of the dating world. But it is important to take your time and move at a pace that works best for you. When you do find someone you are interested make sure to have your priorities laid out. If you are just looking for a casual fling, which I would recommend to avoid for some time after a break up, you need to clear yourself of all emotional baggage before doing so. That way you won’t end up hurt and wondering what went wrong. If you are looking to casually date, just know that dating does not mean you have to have sex. Take your time getting to know someone new and feel free to have multiple dates set up for the same week. It doesn’t hurt to keep your options open when it comes to dinner and a movie, or dancing and some drinks, but you need to make sure that when you find someone worth pursuing you clear your schedule of the other options. And if you are going to casually hook up, please be smart and practice safe sex along the way by using a condom.

It is always important that when you are newly single to take your time. This is your life and you need to make sure you are enjoying it to the fullest extent possible, whether you are in a relationship or not. Because when your quality of life begins to slip away, that’s when you are no longer living freely, for yourself. In this time of emotional hardship, if you remember just to keep breathing & take baby steps toward emotional recovery, you will see that hardship brings empowerment. Use this to rebuild your ego, your friendships, and create a sexy, more confident you.

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