Saturday, April 13, 2013

First Impressions: What Do Guys Think ??!!

guy-looking-at-girl  - First Impressions- What Do Guys Think
If you’re prattling on and on about your cats without giving him an opportunity to respond and/or change the topic of conversation he’ll get annoyed really quickly.

The horrible truth about first impressions is that they stick.  Once someone views you in a certain way, i.e. the lovable, plain-faced friend as opposed to the vivacious temptress, very rarely does that person change his/her mind.  Of course, we hear plenty of stories about ugly ducklings morphing into swan-like seductresses and changing the way the world views them.  But the reality is, when it comes to how others perceive us, most of us are pigeonholed to that brief moment when a person subconsciously and semi-consciously makes a decision as to what we will mean to him/her.  We are forever imbued with the taint of that first impression, for girls it might be “bob’s little sister” or “that chick with the mole,” or, less favorably “smelly girl.”   For guys it doesn’t get any better, “that wet-armpit guy,” or “the man with the rape-stash,” or “simple Gary” (that’s just Gary, he’s, like, kinda ‘simple’).    

If there is any silver lining to this it’s that first impressions are not always negative. People do leave positive first impressions, and one is always meeting new people, and therefore there are unlimited opportunities to make a positive first impression.  Yet, one needs to recognize that in some instances, work settings and business scenarios (particularly in a sales environment), the inability to make a positive first impression can cost him/her money.  Likewise, in dating, a poor first impression can cost one a healthy relationship or, worse, great sex.    

So what goes into making a positive first impression?  I’ve interviewed some friends and found some insightful tips.  I’ll try to make them brief and easy to remember so you can recall them on the fly:

Smell Good
Guys love a girl that smells good (as opposed to a “smelly girl”).  This may be obvious, but what I’ve found in my research is that guys much prefer “natural” scents and odors rather than those noxious, artificial perfumes.   Avoid fragrances that are named after obscure sounding emotions or states of being: “Unctuous” – “Ennui” – “Inveterate Seduction”  - and stick with stuff that is light and airy and smells natural.

This one is also obvious.  If you know you’re going to be meeting a new guy, it helps to look your best.  But here’s the catch, guys don’t want a girl that tries to look sexy, just a girl that is sexy.  They want effortless sexiness.  It’s almost like what they say about being cool, you can’t try to be cool, because artifice and effort betray being cool, so you just have to be cool.  Does this make sense?  Be sexy; don’t try to be sexy.

I thought this was stupid, but who am I to judge?  Guys, according to my research, like girls who smile a lot.  So smile when you meet him.  And if you are attracted to him, laugh at his jokes.  Guys love to believe they’re funny.

Public Intoxication
Don’t be drunk when you meet him. Tipsy can be cute and naughty, but wasted is unattractive.

Eye Contact
Make reasonable eye contact.  Don’t stare him down like you would his ex-girlfriend, but give him a nice enduring glance.

Two Ears, One Mouth
Don’t be too chatty.  Listen to what he has to say.  Guys like to be heard and acknowledged.  If you’re prattling on and on about your cats without giving him an opportunity to respond and/or change the topic of conversation he’ll get annoyed really quickly.  Try to listen as much as you speak, and discuss things you both have a passion for, i.e. music, politics, movies, etc.

There’s a difference between self-awareness and self-hatred, and somewhere in the middle is self-deprecation.  Guys don’t mind the occasionally humorous, self-deprecating comment, “my butt looks too big in this dress” (they don’t mind this particular remark because it gives them a free pass to look at your hindquarters).  But, if you follow a comment like that up with a bunch of other comments like, “I’m ugly,” “I’m fat,” “I’m stupid,” he’ll start to agree with you and want to get away from your ugly, fat, stupid face.    

Making a great first impression is not easy. Every guy has his own personal preferences (subconscious and conscious).  But adjusting your behavior with these helpful tips in mind might improve your chances at making a great first impression.  They can’t hurt, right?  Still, though, at the end of the day, you got to be yourself, play the numbers game and you’ll eventually meet someone that likes you from the first moment and every moment after that.  The key is to be who you want to be and to not get hung up on what other people think.

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