If you’re looking for someone that you have more in common with than hormones and beer, keep your eyes and ears open during your favorite classes.
There are a few things that you would do well to keep in mind while navigating the college dating scene…
First and foremost, take care of yourself! For many college students, the dating scene starts with the party scene. Despite that sexy feeling of invincibility that alcohol may give you, when you drink, you make yourself vulnerable. Period. If you plan on partying, remember to take preventative measures so that you don’t put yourself needlessly at risk. Sure, you’ve probably heard the obvious warnings so many times you tune them out; “keep an eye on your drink so nobody drugs you, don’t drink and drive, yadda, yadda, yadda.” But please, do yourself a favor and show that these concepts were not totally lost on you. You’re in college now, so hopefully you’re prepared to take responsibility for your own wellbeing. BE SAFE.
For starters, ladies, don’t go to frat parties alone. Just trust me on this one. There have been way too many young women date-raped, or even gang-raped at these parties. Just be smart and stay with a group of friends you trust. Make a plan to stick together no matter what. And make sure you all get home safely at the end of the night. Either bring a designated driver with you, or plan to take a cab. Walk home only if you have a trustworthy group that will walk you to your door.
And guys, most women are much more interested in men who are healthy and intelligent than they are interested in that guy who can do a great keg stand. Remember, the guys that party hard tend to develop a beer gut—and a hangover will keep almost anyone from hitting the gym. The majority of women would prefer a guy with a healthy body. Evolutionarily speaking, it just makes sense; he seems like he has better genes, and there are better chances he’ll be good at helping her care for and protect her children. Yeah, you might not be thinking about it—she might not even be thinking about it—but the drive is still there. Take note, I said “healthy” not “flawless.” While it isn’t about achieving the impossible, women do like to see that you’ve got your life together and that you know how to take care of yourself. This extends to your living conditions, too: (see James Mantalos’s Evolved World article “Wanna Score? You Have To Scour!)
Keep An Open Mind
Fortunately, the party scene isn’t the only way to meet new dating possibilities. In fact, it might be one of the worst options if you’re looking for anything other than a sloppy hook-up. Yeah, there might be a certain appeal to lowered inhibitions and dark corners, but there isn’t much room for having a real conversation. That guy or girl who seems really attractive when you’re both drunk and making out, might be a real jerk—or just an idiot. Aside from the risk of contracting herpes (yes, genital herpes can be transmitted orally,) why waste your time? You have a much better chance of meeting someone you actually have something in common with through your classes, or friends of friends.
If you’re looking for someone that you have more in common with than hormones and beer, keep your eyes and ears open during your favorite classes. Notice when someone says something that interests you. Does that person also happen to be attractive to you? Chances are it will be personality characteristics that really affect whether or not someone truly appealing. People often look hot until they open their mouths to speak, and Ego or idiocy erases all their charm. Likewise, the ones who seem less canonically good-looking may in fact turn out to be much better at keeping your interest. So keep an open mind.
Finally, it might sound a little trite, but BE YOURSELF. I can’t stress this one enough, people. Don’t let anyone pressure you into changing or subduing your distinctive personality. It is the unique qualities that only you possess that make you interesting. Embrace your individuality. Live fully and with enthusiasm, and you will find that opportunities will come to you. In the mean time, take good care of yourself. Protect your sanity; remember to take the time to recharge along the way so you don’t burn out. College can be a very stressful time of change and transition. Make your health a priority. Along with greater health comes a richer life filled with true satisfaction. Have fun, be safe, and enjoy!
There is someone out there for everybody. The great thing about moving on from high school is that suddenly there are so many more options. Be patient, and the right someone will come along. You’re enough—just as you are.