Often times we are so involved in our relationships we can’t see the bigger picture and it is our friends and family who are the first people to recognize the relationship is no longer a good one.
Maybe you have been with your boyfriend or girlfriend for one year, or two years, or maybe just a few months, and then you get that feeling. At first you try to ignore the feeling, then it turns into a lingering doubt, and before you know it you’re consumed with something you don’t quite want to admit.
If you’ve ever made it through a breakup you know what I’m talking about. For whatever reason the relationship isn’t working and you think it’s time to let go.
But this oh-so-powerful realization of “We Need To Breakup” isn’t always so easy to come by. Sometimes things just feel...off...and you think you can change your partner, or that things will magically get better. Sometimes you brush your relationship friction off as a phase. You convince yourself things will turn around. You think, “I love them! They are still a good person! They deserve another chance!” and try to talk yourself out of your doubt.
Will it really get better? How do you know? When is it time to leave your relationship?
If you’re having a hard time linking your feelings of doubt with breakup red flags, here are some tips to knowing it’s time to end your relationship:
#1 You No Longer Look Forward To Spending Time Alone With Your Partner
You would rather spend time with friends, family, or be at work than be alone with your boyfriend/girlfriend. Maybe you still have a good sex life, but you don’t communicate and avoid having a social life with your partner.
#2 You’re Waiting For Your Partner To Change, Or Your Partner Is Waiting For YOU To Change
Sure, it’s not impossible for people to change for the better. That’s the same logic people use everyday to convince themselves to stay in a relationship. But if your partner engages in the same behavior over and over – even though they know how much it hurts you – this does not constitute a fulfilling relationship and it’s time to let go.
#3 You’re Always Arguing And There’s Always Tension
Every couple is going to fight – it’s part of the relationship process. But arguing all the time is not normal or healthy. If you are constantly in a state of conflict or feel like you’re walking on eggshells, recognize this is not healthy relationship behavior.
#4 You Criticize Your Partner, Or They Criticize You
Do you always find something to say about your partner’s appearance, actions, or personality? People who are in love and in a thriving relationship are able to look past the minor details and little annoyances and enjoy the larger scope of the partnership.
#5 Your Friends Have Something To Say About It
Often times we are so involved in our relationships we can’t see the bigger picture and it is our friends and family who are the first people to recognize the relationship is no longer a good one. Friends typically have your best interest at heart, and if they feel compelled to question your happiness in the relationship it’s time for you to really evaluate your situation.
#6 There Are Three Elements In Your Relationship: You, Your Partner, And Jealousy
If your relationship feels insecure, and you and/or your partner experience jealousy, this is a major sign that the relationship needs to end. Relationships are supposed to be built on trust and it is a critical component of fulfilling relationships. Extreme jealousy compromises your sense of trust and respect. If you have trust issues and have past experiences with betrayal, you need to spend time working on yourself to deal with these feelings instead of unintentionally undermining your relationship.
#7 You’re Always Contemplating If You Should Really Be Together Or Not
Do you know what instinct is? Do you hear your intuition trying to give you a warning? Spending time wondering whether or not you should be with your partner is a sign that you either know you should not stay in your current relationship, or you don’t know yourself well enough to decide if you should be in a relationship. Despite your thinking process the conclusion is the same for both – it is time to leave your relationship.
It’s hard to examine your relationship objectively – to make an unbiased pros and cons list and make decisions accordingly. Considering a breakup wavers between logic and your emotional investment, and because of this it can be difficult to accept when it is time to leave a relationship. People love being in relationships: you get to learn about yourself, know another person inside and out, discover someone else’s weird personal habits, explore your partner’s interests and have new experiences, have closeness, friendship, and trust. At least...you’re supposed to have those things. If you find yourself questioning if the relationship is worth staying in, then it’s most likely your instinct telling you it’s time to let go and move on.