List making for relationship hopefuls has been the source of much debate...Instead of making a list based on physical traits and unrealistic standards, make the list for your perfect partner based on values.
If you’re dating, chances are you have encountered two types of people:
1. The ideal partner that lives in your mind.
2. The schmuck who won’t pay for dinner at the Olive Garden.
Let’s focus on suitor Number 2 – the person who drives you to Olive Garden in their mom’s car and “forgets” their wallet.
You don’t want to be with suitor Number 2. You want the person who is considerate, generous, and interesting. You want the person who is passionate and makes you a priority. You want suitor Number 1...so how did you end up with the schmuck?
The question is: How do you attract your perfect partner? How do you attract Mr. Right instead of Mr. Wrong?
The first step in finding your perfect partner is accepting that your perfect match is not the same as your best friend’s, your sister’s, or even your mother’s. You can’t accurately determine who your perfect partner is by someone else’s standards. You must focus on your needs and wants in a relationship and visualize your partner accordingly.
Make A List
List making for relationship hopefuls has been the source of much debate. You know the lists I’m talking about: they must be this height, have this kind of job, love cats, graduated from a certain college, etc. etc. This makes hunting for a partner an exercise in statistics rather than compatibility.
Instead of making a list based on physical traits and unrealistic standards, make the list for your perfect partner based on values. How can you identify your perfect partner if you cannot identify the values that are most important to you? Ask yourself what is essential to you in a relationship. Trust, loyalty, honesty, compatibility, lovingness, generosity, thoughtfulness – which of these values belong on your list?
Physical attraction is the bait that hooks you in to relationships that might not be the best fit for your long-term ambitions. I don’t care how big your plastic surgery budget is – looks will fade. Don’t let another pretty face take you for a ride on the merry-go-round of failed relationships that keeps you from your perfect partner.
Instead of immediately attaching yourself to Mr./Ms. Hot Body, take a step back and define what attractive means to you. Is it someone who makes you laugh? Someone who is compassionate? An extrovert? An activist? A recluse? Think about what you find attractive in other people. What attracts you to your friends? What do you need from other people that will complement your personality? When you pursue your next relationship, place more focus on these deeper levels of attraction instead of physical appearance alone.
To attract your perfect partner, you have to be honest with two people: the person you pursue, and yourself. You have to be honest with yourself to determine what you really want in a partner and to recognize your needs and wants. You have to be honest with your potential partner to communicate these needs and wants. If you know you aren’t compatible, end it. Don’t drag something on for the sake of someone’s feelings because in reality, it only causes more problems as time passes. It takes a lot of courage to be vulnerable enough to be completely honest with another person. Be bold and be brave!
Know You Are Worthy
Know that you are deserving and worthy of happiness. You deserve to find your perfect partner - don’t settle. It doesn’t matter what has happened in the past, how long it’s been since you had a serious relationship, or how many duds you’ve dated. You are worthy of having a lasting relationship with your perfect partner.