Sunday, January 27, 2013

How To Get From Break Up To Make Up ??!!

How To Get From Break Up To Make Up - sad couple
If at any point you feel like expressing your anger in a destructive way, seek help. Forgive anybody who needs to be forgiven, including you. This will go a long way towards not being mad, and not going mad. Anger can make you do funny things and can cloud your judgment.

Someone has screwed up, now the whole world is falling away from you. It feels like everyone is going to pay the price. The massive levels of confusion! It burns. It burns like fire with hurt and rage. It stinks with desperation and internal chaos. So much emotion and drama!

This does not have to be. Get a grip on your emotions – release the visions from your head – realize immediately that now is your chance to deliberately and diligently create the love life you want to experience. Most of the time, divorce is final. In some cases, there is a glimmer of hope, a whisper of faith – by one party or both – Keep your head clear and act from your heart. If it comes right down to it, the lawyers will think for you. Stay in peace, be calm, and know that you are actively participating in your destiny now. Emotions need to be put in check and not be allowed to run loose and ragged. The situation becomes much worse if you have any thought of salvaging this relationship which has run off into the ditch.

The longer you're attached to somebody, the more difficult and involved the break up becomes. Even if the break was the best thing to do at this point, it's still hard. This is about how to avoid the fall out of rage and insult, pettiness and revenge. Even if you haven't been together all that long many of the same emotions can surface with the same intensity. Despite the circumstances, certain decorum must reign. This article demonstrates methods of exploring a separation or divorce circumstance with an inner peace - and it is meant to preserve the dignity of your union, and to provide damage control for your children and outside family members. The emotions are huge, and the impulses are high, but I believe that if you can successfully navigate these feelings, you will have a better chance of making up if that's what you'd like to do. 
Whether that's your goal or not, there's no doubt that being more emotionally stable will help you live a happier life.

Do you feel like it's your fault that you broke up? Is it? Are you ready to accept the responsibilities that you have? Regardless, you need to let go of the feelings of guilt. Come to understand that this is the way things are now, and you can't change the past. However, if you have done something that requires an apology, let the situation calm down for a while, then apologize to help clear your conscience and to provide closure for the other person. After all, what else do you have to offer but your humility?

One emotion that may shock you a bit is that of relief. Sure, you're sad, feeling bummed out, but why do you feel a sense of comfort? This is the inner knowledge surfacing telling you to remember that you have the right to choose what is good for you. Rest assured, it's a common feeling, and perfectly normal. Almost every couple argues, and it tends to get worse just prior to a break up. Another problem that adds to the tension is not knowing where you stand with your mate, and acknowledging that you have a real life altering situation at hand. You may not even know what's going on, and the relief will come from splitting up, even for awhile. This gives you the answers.

Being angry needs to be kept within the limits of allowing expression about what is happening. If at any point you feel like expressing your anger in a destructive way, seek help. Forgive anybody who needs to be forgiven, including you. This will go a long way towards not being mad, and not going mad. Anger can make you do funny things and can cloud your judgment. It certainly won't garner the respect of those around you. Do whatever it takes to work through your anger, otherwise you could grow to be old and bitter; and that's not a good combination.

The one emotion that nearly everybody has after breaking up is sadness. Crying and some sadness are normal, but watch out for clinical depression. Seek professional help immediately if you feel like harming yourself. Other than that, if you don't feel like getting out of bed, can't let go of feeling down, or want to stay isolated then find a trusted friend (or counselor) to talk things over with. Solitude is required for introspection and inner landscape work, but it lets you slip easily into isolation. Nothing can be accomplished from within isolation.

3 Simple Steps To Saving A Relationship
There is no question that being involved in a good relationship can be a wonderful and rewarding experience. You feel so happy, so content, so fulfilled that you can't ask for more. On the other hand, being involved in a relationship that you know is headed for trouble, or about to end in divorce can be devastating and shocking to think about.

There is a good chance that you will feel all alone, sad or possibly act in an irrational manner. So, if you find your previously good relationship is now in trouble, then you have to take action right away and do what you can to keep your love alive and to get your relationship back on track. In reality, there's no excuse for not trying to make things better because there are tons of resources readily available to help you patch things up. If your relationship is at a point that it needs saving, then these tips will help you to get started:

1. Identify The Problem
The first step in saving any relationship is finding out what the root cause of the problem is. Every relationship will have its own fair share of problems. The only difference is how severe they are, and how willing each partner is in fixing or not being irritated by them. However, even small problems can lead to a break up if one partner isn't aware of their impact on the other. That's why it is so important to find out what those problems are in your relationship. After all, you can't fix something if you don't know it’s broken.

2. Communicate. What? Communicate!!!
It takes two people for there to be true love. While it may not always be easy, this means you need to talk over the problems you have found. Your significant other may also have concerns they would like to share. Do not argue. Instead, be appreciative that these things are being brought to your attention, and that it's the only way to work toward a happy solution. It doesn't matter if you've been seeing each other for a few weeks, or a few years. Good communication is critical at every point in healthy relationships.

3. Love At The Forefront
Love is what holds everything together. Sometimes it takes work to prevent feelings of dislike from creeping in and taking hold. Do whatever you can to give love its proper place at the forefront of your relationship. When all is said and done, love is a powerful force that can turn the sourest relationships into wonderful, happy ones. As long as there is even a hint of love, it will be possible to turn things around for the better.

There is no doubt that it's completely possible to save a relationship. Make note of the tips mentioned above and use them. While you can't force somebody to stay with you, knowing how to make things better will increase the odds that they will want to stay. Wouldn't you rather stay in a loving relationship than a negative one? Who wouldn't?

Getting From Break Up To Make Up

Allow me to blunt for a moment: Breaking up sucks the big one! But after the initial sting has worn off it's quite normal to want to move on to making up. And even though people dream of getting an ex back, they tend to make it a much more complicated process than they have to. It all comes down to one thing: If you're the type of person your ex likes to be with then they'll probably take you back. This is easy, at least in theory.

There's nothing wrong with the theory, it works. The problem is knowing what type of person you are and if it's compatible with what your ex is looking for. You can stack the deck in your favor by being a pleasant person to be around. Here are some simple ways that you can be more pleasant and put the theory work for you:

Create New Experiences
If you really want to get your ex back, you will have to do everything you can to build a future together. This means doing new things so you can build happy memories. Even the smallest of enjoyments will add up. Over time your ex will link the positive feelings of the event to feeling positive about you. Keep the mood happy, light and positive. Above all, have fun together.

Don't Argue
If you are trying to set the right tone, then do not argue. That produces the wrong kinds of feelings for what you're trying to accomplish. It conjures up negative associations that your ex will remember (consciously or subconsciously). You can either be right or you can be happy together, not both.

Minimize The Negative
One of the difficulties of trying to patch things up is that the past has to be brought up at some point. Something obviously went wrong and you need to be realistic about it. However, you have to be careful that you don't increase the power of the negative that was there. Address them calmly and matter-of-factly.

Accentuate The Positive
Not only are you trying to create new memories, but there must have been good times you shared together as well. Even if they didn't last long, you will do well to highlight them. Remember, the more positive your ex feels when they're with you, the more positive they will feel about you.

You can predict how well the theory mentioned in the beginning will work for you by noticing where your focus is. If it's on the good things, then you have a better chance; if not, then the theory doesn't stand much of a chance. Doing the things above will help you be more enjoyable to be around. Stick with it, and you will get your ex back (if you wish) and lead a happier life.

To be honest, there is no simple way to deal with all of the emotions that go along with breaking up. Being able to get through them in a healthy way will increase your chances of making up in the future. Or, it will help you move on to the next relationship with no hard feelings. Either way, you are sure to be happier and live a better life because of it.

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