Test your relationship against these healthy indicators.
Usually, there are a lot of duds before you find someone who is worth taking a relationship to the long-term level.
Consider your current relationship: Do you think this could be long-term? Does something feel “different” about this one? Is this going to be another ex-, or are you on the right track towards relationship longevity?
Here is a checklist to help you answer these questions, and are indications that you are going in the right direction towards a long-term relationship.
-You and your partner both feel good about yourselves. Neither feels like one is being taken advantage of, or feels bullied or forced into making decisions.
-You share decision making; one person is not constantly making all the decisions and one person does not always have to give-in.
-You have shared interests and values, but are still respected as an individual.
-Your boyfriend/girlfriend supports your interests, and they support yours.
-Can disagree and solve problems in a healthy way (without verbal or physical abuse).
-Respect each other’s families, friends, spiritual needs, and hobbies.
-If they have different family dynamics from your own, you can work through differences.
-You like/love each other for who you are, not for who you want them to become.
-Open communication. You can discuss dreams, ambitions, finances, and the future without feeling threatened or judged.
-You share similar expectations; for example, having a family.
-You can have fun together and apart.
-You both enjoy spending time together and can show affection/enjoyment whether alone or around others.
-You both negotiate and compromise.
-You do not feel threatened if the other person wants to be alone.
-Your boyfriend/girlfriend does not make you feel guilty about wanting to spend time away from each other (with friends, family, etc.).
-You listen to each other, and take each other’s feelings, emotions, opinions and ideas seriously and with respect.
-Neither of you try to control the other’s actions, where you go, or who you talk to.
-Respect and accept each other’s sexual boundaries. Can be honest about sex and say “no” without a guilt-trip or feeling threatened.
-Your needs are just as important and your boyfriend’s/girlfriend’s needs.
-You continue to build trust by keeping each other’s confidences.
-You both take the relationship seriously and are equally committed.
-No single person is in control or dominates the relationship. You are both valued, have a say, and contribute to the relationship.
Please note that this checklist does not define every long-term, successful, healthy relationship. Each relationship is unique in its own way because no two personalities are the same, and each person brings various dynamics to the relationship. The above checklist includes indicators of healthy relationship behaviors; if your relationship mirrors this checklist, it is possible that your relationship can succeed for the long-term.