Here is a fact for you; all couples fight. In fact, even the couples who are passionately in love, fight fiercely. So no matter how happily married a couple is, bitter fights are always a part of their marital life. The important thing in a relationship is not conflict but how to resolve it. If you have to make a relationship work then you have to learn to solve the conflicts that are there in it.
You must never feel bad about admitting that you have conflicts in your relationship because if you don't then you are probably clones of each other. Here are some prudent and smart ways to solve conflicts in your relationship.
Steps To Solve Conflicts In A Relationship:
Get To The Core:
Whenever a couple fights there is some issue that makes them fight. If you have to resolve a fight then you have to get to the core of the issue. Fight as much as you can and when you both clam down, sit down and try to fathom why you fought. The real issue that you fought about will surface after the superficial bickering stops. For example, you feel that he is taking his mother's side in a debate and call him a 'mamma's boy'. He gets angry and you both have fight. The real issue here is that you do not get along with his mother.
Make A Deal:
There is a famous saying that 'love is not business and thus you cannot make deals in love'. However, the only way make sure that a compromise works in a relationship is to make a deal. It ensures that both partners are happy about a compromise that is struck and nobody feels cheated. Suppose you do not like his habit of smoking in the bathroom. So make deal that he can smoke 2 cigarettes at home if he avoids smoking in the bathroom.
The Apology Calendar:
The biggest issue after a couple fights is the question of who breaks the ice. Neither partner wants to come forward and apologise because neither of them think it to be their fault. You gigantic egos will never let you solve your conflicts so just chuck them. Make an apology chart or calender. It will be a normal calendar on which you mark the days on which you said sorry in red and the days when your partner said sorry in green. As long as the balance of 'reds' and 'greens' is maintained in a month, your relationship will work out fine.
Hitting The Wall:
When an issue is absolutely unresolvable then we hit a solid wall that cannot be moved from either side. Sometimes, certain complex situations arise in a relationship when neither partner is wrong and the issue at hand has no solution. For example, you have promised your family that you will be home for Diwali and so has your partner. What do you do in such situation. You can either put it behind you totally, where both of you do not visit your families. It can also be that each one visits their own family and keep them happy. Unfortunately there is no third option.
If you want to be happy as a couple you have to learn these ways to solve conflicts peacefully. What do you do when you have a really bad fight with your partner?
