Here goes my real love story (I guess)! Dedicating it to someone special...
How many of you actually believe in love at first sight? I don't. Because its hard for me to fall in love with someone who is not known to me. The initial attraction might be the external beauty, but the internal beauty is the biggest turn on for me. And so is the case, when the day I entered my college. I saw her for the first time in the orientation of our department. I was with my parents and she was alone. We had our professors giving lectures, and suddenly my Dad tickled me when I was looking at her. I was blushing without any reason. The first sight did prove to be a starter, but it didn't convert in love over a year, as far as I remember.
In the first year, we only met at classes and labs formally and started becoming a bit informal when we joined the dance club of our institute. Soon, we started mixing with each other's friend circle. To be very true, she was like the queen of our institute. And perhaps that was the reason, I wanted myself to restrict to friendship itself and didn't think about college romance. But time flew, and we were there in the department together. It was our second year and some of us became very close friends. We started hanging out together all the time. And perhaps, that was the phase I saw myself slipping in someone's love for the first time. I think it is love at first sight. Now college romance captured my mind and I started thinking how and what I will do if she enters my life.
Her beautiful smile seemed to be like the ocean of joy and happiness which anyone would like to cherish forever. During that time I got to know her a bit more. I still remember her writing "serene" in her gmail id, and she was truly so. She wanted to live life to its fullest. A bird who wants to fly with no limits in the sky. And thats why I used to call her "angel".
I didn't know that things would start changing from there. I did a blunder. Despite knowing that she doesn't see me that way, I proposed her and that too on a message!!! I was a bit immature (am still I believe) and eventually did a series of mistakes. But she had an open heart. Every time I do something wrong, she would respond back although hurt.
Our friends circle broke eventually. Chances of having a story with my love shattered.. I am a boy and even I show some ego, my friends don't take it seriously. But for a girl, life is never that easy. Even after my blunder, she withstood all the times, and I kept on doing more mistakes. It was not getting easy for me to let her go simply because I wanted her in my life!
After several attempts, I tried to get over her and controlled the feelings for my love but whenever I came close to any other girl, it always reminded me of her. I wanted a real love story with her as my main lead but luck didn't support me!
My friends did try to set me up, but all landed up frustrated at me. With what all was happening around, the feelings were getting intensified. Until one day, I did something more than a blunder. I said her something, which any boy have no right to say to a girl. That day, I was out of my temper. And that was the saturation point for her perhaps. It was the worst I can see in myself. This all happened in a span of two and half years. And that was not a good time for us, as somewhere I was not able to become happy despite getting all achievements and good things happening around. And believe me, it was a hard time for her due to all nuisances going on in her life. But still she kept on smiling. Many a times, fake!
But yesterday was a big day for me. After a long time, I felt truly happy. We talked after a long time, and she promised to forget whatever happened between us. I really don't want to be a reason for any more problems in her life. I decided mentally that I don't mind if we don't have any real love story together. Moreover, I was more happy for I somewhere, brought back her smile again.
I am looking for a new start in life. No more belief in love at first sight which might have affected me a lot... And this time, I hope nothing new comes up between us. I am not expecting anything from her side and I know I'll continue loving her. After so many days, I was able to face her and saw a smile on her face and believe me that feeling was took me to the top of the world. I do realize that we two have different paths and perhaps, we won't be able to see each other after few months, but yes, she will always be special to me. Every valentine's day, I think of gifting her something, but always step back due to complications we had in our lives.
And this time again, I really want to gift something special to her. But I am a bit scared as it is valentine's day! A day of couples... Her smile is more precious than anything else and I don't want to really disturb her with my silly mistakes. But somehow, can I know, am I allowed to gift her as a valentine special? ;)