Out of the myriad of difficulties men face as they try to improve their dating skills, there’s one serious problem in particular that I want to talk about today. Overthinking everything.
Now believe me, I know about overthinking this stuff. When you have a strong desire for female affection like I do, then it’s easy to overthink how you can get it. Also, with the Internet at your disposal it’s now super easy to learn so many different concepts and strategies that they completely clutter your brain.
So hopefully today’s post will help you to clear away some of the unnecessary thoughts that are clouding your perception.
De-cloud Your Mind
Most of the men who get coaching with me, read my books, and get in touch with me for advice are highly intelligent guys. They’re guys who are on a mission to actually get this whole “success with women and dating” thing figured out. Now obviously it’s good to be smart and to have the drive to make changes and reach goals. However, the problem these guys almost universally face is that they try to intellectualize attraction. They try to figure out some sort of scientific formula that will make women want them.
You’ve probably read some of these super systematic attraction formulas that tell you to do things like: “Stand at a 45-degree angle from your target, breath deeply through your stomach, and ask her what she is drinking while simultaneously looking at her left eye and raising both of your eyebrows…” LOL.
Now there is a benefit to this type of “plan” because it can help guys to feel like they know EXACTLY what they need to be doing to attract women in a highly regimented way. However the danger is that by thinking about all of these techniques, strategies, and so forth you are actually going to end up behaving in a very unnatural and unattractive way … and that sucks!
What I teach guys is to forget EVERYTHING, and try to go back to a completely blank slate.
I know it can feel scary to let go of all of these notions you’ve got about attracting women, but you’ve got to realize that they aren’t doing the job for you. (Otherwise you wouldn’t be looking for more dating advice…)
What you’ll see is that when you get rid of all these techniques, and complicated strategies, you’ll actually FEEL a lot better. The best way that I can describe it is as a “light and free” feeling, because you don’t have all of these ideas weighing you down and constricting all of your actions. So, if you are not focusing and thinking about “what to do” to attract women, what should you do instead?
Okay, here’s the really cool part… Ya DON’T NEED TO DO A WHOLE HECK OF A LOT!
This is the secret to why guys who are naturally good with women make it look so easy. Because they aren’t really doing too much.